My friend says the “grass is always greener on the other side.” I don’t know. I’ve found that the grass is always greener when I fertilize. My grass stays green through the summer and fall when 
I take care of the lawn. Trouble is…some summers (like this summer) I get too busy to take care of my lawn. It gets overgrown with weeds and turns brown earlier in the fall. My neighbor fertilized this year and I didn’t. He still has a beautiful lawn…mine is burned out and full of weeds. So, next year I fertilize (well, at least that’s the plan). After all, the grass is always greener when I fertilize.
The same is true in marriage. The best marriages belong to those who fertilize, who take care of their own marital lawn rather than looking at someone else’s. In fact, if you look at other couples and think the grass is always greener on the other side, you definitely need to look at your daily lawn care and use a little marital fertilizer. To help you get started toward a beautiful marital lawn, here are a couple of marital lawn care ideas.
· Get rid of the weeds that threaten to choke out the healthy growth in your marital lawn. Forgiveness is great for getting rid of deep-rooted weeds like anger and resentment.
· Time management skills help to eradicate those pesky weeds that seem to pop up all over the place and multiple like dandelions. Time management means learning to say “no” to those activities that might interfere with your marriage and making time to spend with your spouse. Without time management, weeds of busy-ness will grow like dandelions and destroy your marital lawn.
· Get rid of the grubs and other pests that eat the roots of your healthy lawn. The best way to keeps grubs and pests out of your lawn is to utilize a secret lawn care ingredient made up of equal parts admiration, affection, and acknowledgement. Take the time every day to think about the attributes you admire in your spouse. After you have thought of these attributes, tell your spouse. In other words, tell your spouse at least one thing you admire about them every day. Follow that acknowledgement of admiration with a show of affection…like a hug, a kiss, a stroke of the cheek, a holding of the hand…you can use your imagination to think of others.
· Water your marital lawn every day with a healthy shower gratitude and kindness. Show your spouse how much they mean to you by doing kind deeds for them every day. Express gratitude for the kind deeds they do for you.
· Keep your marital lawn well-irrigated with politeness as well. Let “thank you,” “please,” “after you,” and “excuse me” flow freely through the soil of your marriage.
· Put some extra fertilizer on your garden. The three ingredients of this fertilizer will keep your marital lawn healthy, green, and plush—it’s the 20-2/6-3 fertilizer
o A 20 minute conversation each day to talk about what happened during the day and upcoming plans.
o At least 2 hugs a day, each lasting 6 seconds or more.
o Share at least 3 kisses each day–one when you say good-bye, another when you return home, and a third when you go to bed.
If you utilize these marital lawn care practices, you will have a fresh, green lawn free of weeds and pests…and your marriage will prosper. Indeed, the grass is always greener for those who fertilize!
power to shape the thoughts, moods, and actions of those around us…not just for today but for years to come. How many of us can remember a harsh word spoken to us by a teacher in elementary school? Or, a hurtful word spoken by a parent in their moment of frustration? Yes, words have power. There are two categories of words in particular that carry a subtle yet pervasive power over those who say them and hear them. These words and phrases sound simple, even harmless; but, they have the potential to limit our freedom, increase our guilt, and choke our self-confidence. These two categories of words have an especially strong impact on our family members. I suggest we ban them from the family. Let me explain.
person, but the absolute in the statement implies the person cannot and will not change! A person responds to these accusations with defensiveness…and the battle begins. We would all benefit from taking the absolutes out of the equation so we can have a better conversation. Instead of saying “always” or “never,” note what happened “this time” in “this situation.” Allow the person an opportunity to change. 
h…and the original chicken sandwich…and the grilled chicken sandwich…and the breakfast burrito (sausage—my apologies to the cow)…and….Well, you get the point. But, you know what I like best about Chick-fil-A? It doesn’t matter how complicated the order, how many times I change my order, or how crowded the restaurant, when I pay the cashier she politely says “Thank you.” Then, when I thank the cashier for my food she smiles and replies, “My pleasure.” She even says it with conviction, like she really means it. I think she does mean it! She says, with all sincerity, that it was her “pleasure” to serve me, to take the time to prepare my food and hand it to me at the counter, my table, or my car, wherever I happen to be. I love to eat there just to hear them say it… “Thank you” and “My pleasure.” 
suddenly creates a deep bond of trust between family members. There is no magic pill for building trust. No, these suggestions are subtle, but powerful, actions and attitudes that, when practiced daily, have a profound impact on trust in a family. Let me share each suggestion along with a brief explanation. 
to grow in those areas of interest. Encourage their strengths. Become their Michelangelo—the person who brings out their best and encourages them to grow stronger in their “true self” every day.
Someone else has to do what another person forgets. In the midst of this busy-ness, family members feel taken advantage of. Parents begin to feel as though they are running a “bed and breakfast” with chauffer services. Children begin to think they are the family slave. Emotional distance grows, frustrations multiply, and anger swells like a tsunami. People start spouting off with Janet Jackson, “What Have You Done For Me Lately?”
home and I answered the door saying, “Quit knocking so loud. I’m not deaf you know.” As you step into my house, I demand that you “take your shoes off…now. I just mopped the floors and I do not want you tracking mud through my house!” You smile politely, albeit somewhat confused, and take your shoes off. “Why are you giving me that look?” I continue. “I just asked you to take your shoes off. If you have a problem with it, just leave them on and track mud through my house.” “No, that’s OK. I don’t want to muddy your floors. They look beautiful,” you respond politely. 
for parents to teach their children proper behavior; but, if we constantly tell them what not to do, how do they learn what to do. The behaviors they hear spoken about most often will remain most prevalent in their mind…and acted upon most often as a result. Given no positive alternative, and hearing constant yell about negative behaviors, a child will simply repeat the negative behaviors. Instead, describe appropriate and desired behaviors to your children. Tell them what behaviors you want to see. Fill their mind with images of proper behavior and the expected results of positive behavior. 
recordings that constantly repeat in their mind throughout life. Fill that internal self-talk with words of encouragement that will play over and over throughout their life.
our tongue to taste and to talk. We may even stick it out in a playful or nasty manner. We can use our tongue to say the most wonderful, funny words or to say terribly, hurtful things. Not only is the tongue versatile, it is powerful. One ancient writer said that “death and life are in the power of the tongue…” (Proverbs 18:21) and “the north wind brings forth rain: so does a backbiting tongue an angry countenance” (Proverbs 25:23). That is power for such a small part of the body. In fact, another ancient writer compared the tongue to the rudder of a great ship…a small part of the ship but one that controls the direction of the ship, even in a storm (James 3:5). The tongue is small, versatile, and powerful…and you can use it to build intimacy in your family or to destroy your family.
one another
-term dividends. The same is true in family honor banking. If you want to grow your family honor account, here is an investment strategy as easy as 1…2…3. 
