It seems as though disrespect is rampant in our world today. We see it every day. But I believe that if we intentionally open our eyes and look, we also find respect alive and well in our world. And we want to keep respect alive and well… growing more prominent in our world. To make that happen, we teach our children to show respect. We encourage them to add their own respectful actions and words into our world.
Fortunately, teaching our children respect is not the world’s duty. The world displays too much disrespect to make it a good teacher. No, teaching respect to our children is our duty; and the lessons begins at home through the creation of a respectful home environment. How do we build an environment of respect in our homes? Here are 6 ways to get you started.
- Speak politely. Say “thank you” and “please.” Use a polite tone of voice, even when you want to request that another person change their behavior or when you want to voice a complaint about some inappropriate behavior. An environment of respect is filled with expressions gratitude and appreciation, compliments and encouragements. Building a home environment of respect involves speaking politely.
- Listen respectfully. Listening is an act of great respect…and it involves more than just responding. So don’t interrupt. Listen carefully. Allow family members to complete their thoughts before responding. Listen attentively to understand and make sure you understand before you respond.
- Make requests respectfully. It’s easy to shout across the room to make a request or demand some change of behavior. But that does not show respect. And it’s ineffective. To sit at the table and yell across the room demanding our children quit arguing is disrespectful. So is yelling from our seat in front of the TV for our spouse to get us a drink. It is much more respectful to get up and approach our family member, asking them for what we want in a calm voice.
- Allow autonomy whenever possible. Let your children dress themselves, even if they like wearing pants that don’t match their shirt. Allow your spouse to have an opinion different than yours …and appreciate their opinion enough to learn about it and allow it to influence you. Approach the differences with love, knowing that differences of opinion and taste do not represent a personal affront. They represent our unique perspectives and personalities. Allowing differences and autonomy reveals respect for our individual differences of opinions and tastes. It helps establish an environment of respect.
- When you see a family member acting disrespectfully, correct their behavior… respectfully. Begin by identifying the underlying contributors to their disrespectful behavior. Were they emotionally hurt? Did they feel treated unfairly? Were they acting impulsively? Were they asserting their will? Have they started a habit of disrespect? Knowing the underlying contributors to their behavior allows you to respond in a more respectful and effective way. Take a moment to teach them how to meet the need that undergirded the disrespect. Teach them the impact of disrespect on their relationships and importance of respect for healthy relationships. Do it respectfully.
- Most importantly, realize that our children will “catch respect” more readily than they will be “taught respect.” Set the example of respect. Let them see you treating them and others with respect. Let the respectful environment begin with you.
I’m sure you can think of more ways to teach your children to act respectfully. Write your tips in the comment section below. We can all benefit from one another’s knowledge.