Honor simplifies life by allowing us to relax in our trust of one another’s faithfulness, rest in the security of our relationships, walk in the freedom and openness of the truth, and celebrate the joy of uplifting one another with our words.
Each weekday, think of one to two character traits about each family member that you admire. Over the weekend, tell each family member at least two of those traits.
Discover each family member’s love language by taking the survey found at www.5lovelanguages.com. After you know each family member’s love language, communicate your love for them by using the love language they speak most fluently.
Which would you rather have–25 used and ragged one dollar bills or one crisp, new 5 dollar bill? Most people pick quantity (25 dollars) over quality (crisp, new 5 dollar bill). The same is true in regards to families and time. Our families want our quantity time. It is only within a quantity of time that …we find moments of quality. This weekend, honor your family with as much quantity time as you.
List two things about each family member that makes you proud and share those things with them.
A friend gave me this great idea with which he honored his wife and learned about each of his sons. Each of his sons list characteristics that they liked about their mother using the alphabet as an acrostic (a-adorable, b-beautiful, c-caring, d-delightful, etc.). You could complete this exercise for each family member and give it to them as a gift. I did one for my wife–it was a lot of fun.
We learn about those things we honor and value. Learning about our family members’ hopes and dreams is one way to honor for them. This weekend, find out about each family members’ dreams for their life. What do they dream of doing someday? What do they hope to do in the next year? five years? ten years? Maybe you will discover ways you can encourage and support them in achieving their dreams.
One way to honor your child is to do some crafts with them.
”Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted” (Paul Pearshall). Make sure your family knows how much you appreciate them today.
People learn and grow. Let family members know that you see their growth and appreciate it. Tell each family member how you have seen them grow more mature, more loving, more godly, more friendly, etc.
Text each of your family members to let them know that you are thinking about them and that you love them.
Pray for family members, both in private and when praying together.
The day after Thanksgiving is “You’re Welcome Day.” Take time on that day to assure your family that they “are welcome” in your life & that you are glad for the opportunities to serve them.
Do something special for your family today. Open the door for them, offer them a chocolate kiss, give them an unexpected hug, or do something creative that only you could think of doing.
Give family members the “benefit of the doubt” rather than “assuming the worst.” “Think the best” of them rather than “thinking less” of them. Assume they have good intention and act accordingly rather than assigning evil intent to their actions. Respond to them in love.
Sit down with each family member over the next few days and show genuine interest in a topic or activity that interests them. You can express interest by asking questions. Really delve into their area of interest and enjoy learning about them
Allow family members to “feel bad” when they don’t succeed or when they make a mistake. Let them feel remorse when they say or do something hurtful to another person. Doing so honors them.
“Little, everyday, ups and downs in relationship quality were reliably marked by one person’s feelings of gratitude. The effects on the relationship were noticed even the day after expressing the gratitude. This research suggests that even everyday gratitude serves an important relationship maintenance mechanism in close relationships, acting as a booster shot to the relationship.” (Science Daily, 5/24/10)
Think about each person’s interests, likes, needs, and desires in search of the best Christmas present for each family member.
A good question can help us learn about others. Here are some good questions to ask your family: “what is the most important thing that happened to you today?” “What should we celebrate today?” “Do you know that I love you?” Ask one or more today.
Listen to the other person’s whole thought & make sure you understand before answering rather than finishing their sentence, formulating a response, or assuming you know what they are sayings.
Each year, do one thing to improve your knowledge and ability as a parent or spouse. For instance, attend a marriage or parenting conference, read at least one book about marriage or parenting, or join a marriage/parenting group.
Call, text, email, or simply ask how an important meeting, appointment, try out, or event went today. When you do, your family member knows you think them important enough to know what is happening in their life and that you are thinking about them throughout the day.
Honor family members by asking about their dreams and even becoming involved in ways to help make those dreams come true.
Respecting and valuing our children’s differences, even during discipline, shows them honor.
Listen closely to your family members, make a genuine effort to understand. Repeat what they say and ask clarifying questions to make sure you understand what they are saying before you respond.
January 26 is “Spouse Day,” a day to enjoy and appreciate your better half. It’s easy to take our spouse and all they do (day in and day out) for granted. Today, make a point of recognizing what your spouse does for you and your home. Notice and say thanks.
Honor your family with loving touch. Give them a hug, touch their shoulder, put your arm around them, give them a kiss on the cheek.
Write a one page letter thanking your family member for positive ways they have influenced your life. In the letter, identify 2-3 ways they have had a positive influence on you and give examples to support each one. Read the letter to them over dinner.
Actively look for daily opportunities to recognize and acknowledge family members’ character strengths such as honesty, thoughtfulness, kindness, politeness, etc…When you acknowledge these attributes, also tell your family member the specific behavior you saw today that made you think of it.
If you see something that needs done around the house, do it…even if it is not your job. If you notice a something has been done around the house and you did not do it, find out who did it and thank them.
Stop criticizing and start complimenting…every chance you get.
Clear the snow off the car for your family members. Shovel the driveway.
Identify three things for which you can thank family members each day for the next week…and tell them thanks for each one.
Create a coupon book to share with your family. Include coupons for chores, back rubs, breakfast in bed, errands, and other special favors your family would enjoy.
When you make a promise (either explicitly or implicitly), keep it.
Open doors for your family members and allow them to go first whenever the opportunity arises–first through the door and into the building, first in line, first in the car (you hold the door), first to get their food at dinner, first to share a thought in conversation, etc. Allow your family to go first.
Pay attention to the little actions and topics that interest each family member. Show them that you’re aware of the little actions by doing them and the topics that interest them by talking about those topics or buying related objects. Find opportunities for you to explore other family member’s interests with them.
Learn about each family member’s dream and support that dream by enhancing your own knowledge in that area, offering encouragement, and providing opportunities when able.
Have a favorite meal smorgasbord. Find out each family member’s favorite foods–including meats, vegetables, desserts, and appetizers. Make meals this weekend that include one item from each family member’s “favorites list.”
When conversing with a family member, give them your full attention and wait your turn. Rather than think about your answer while they talk, listen, nod in response, and then respond with a similar statement that engages them further.
Say “I love you” out loud, don’t just text it or phone it in. And remember, “actions speak louder” than words so show your love with a hug, a kiss, a kind deed, or time spent together as well.
Write a love note…or an encouraging note…or copy a special family photo. Cut the note or photo into puzzle pieces, and mail it (one piece at a time) to the your family. As the pieces arrive in the mail, enjoy time as a family the puzzle together.
We honor family members by learning about them. So, take the time to learn each family member’s clothes sizes, favorite color, and dessert/treat.
Mail something–a card, a letter, a funny story, a blessing, a small object, use your imagination to think of something–to each family member this week.
Give each family member something in the shape of a heart–a heart shaped cake, a heart shaped cookie, a heart shaped card. Make a heart shape out of paper clips on the kitchen cabinet or draw a heart on the bathroom mirror. Leave a heart shaped note with a heart drawn on it. Be creative and leave the mark of your heart
When you make a request, don’t nag; instead, trust your family member to follow through. If a family member makes a request of you and you agree to do it, prioritize the request and follow through. Get it done.
As part of your morning and evening routine, intentionally tell other family members at least one character trait you appreciate about him or her.
Spend at least 15-20 minutes a day in positive interaction with each family member for the next week. This daily 15-20 minutes of positive interaction can produce a full day of harmony.
Instead of criticizing & undermining character, honor enough to instruct in love- to promote positive growth thru words & action
Honor family enough to listen and seek to understand the other person in the midst of an argument.
Remember that listening is active, requiring your ears, mind, and mouth. Listen to understand by using reflective questions. Delve below the surface to hear the deeper meaning and emotion under the words. Respond with words of love.
Rather than treat family members as equal to you, treat them as more precious.
Everyone loves to get a letter in the mail, so mail each family member a love note this week.
Make daily deposits into family relationships & avoid withdrawals for the best long-term rewards.
Honor your children by accepting their choices & not expecting perfection.
Honor your children with boundaries and limits that keep them safe.
Text, phone, message, or simply tell each family member a compliment at least three times today.
People can and do change. Improve the odds that your family members will change by being open to positive change, watching for positive change, and complimenting them when they exhibit “new and improved” behavior.
Honor your family by setting the bar high on your own behavior.
Enjoy a family game night.
Show that you have made family a priority in your life by making them a priority in your schedule.
Increase positive emotions and interactions in your family while decreasing negative emotions and interactions.