The world seems to change at an alarming rate. Just yesterday I thought of a 
mouse as a tiny furry animal; today a mouse is a near-obsolete piece of technology used with a desktop computer. I remember listening to records-the flat ones that required a record player with a needle to play. Today, we simply download music to our IPhones and put head phones in our ears to shut out the world. These changes have resulted in some lost arts. For instance, storytelling seems to be replaced with TV. Imaginative games of cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians are replaced by video games like “Assassin.” And, when was the last time you hand wrote a letter rather than using email, twitter, texting, or Word?
mouse as a tiny furry animal; today a mouse is a near-obsolete piece of technology used with a desktop computer. I remember listening to records-the flat ones that required a record player with a needle to play. Today, we simply download music to our IPhones and put head phones in our ears to shut out the world. These changes have resulted in some lost arts. For instance, storytelling seems to be replaced with TV. Imaginative games of cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians are replaced by video games like “Assassin.” And, when was the last time you hand wrote a letter rather than using email, twitter, texting, or Word?The family has some lost arts as well. For instance, teaching our children to honor gift-givers with a thank-you seems to be a disappearing art. Remember writing those simple thank-you notes you would write as a child after birthdays and Christmas celebrations? Thank-you notes may still exist, but they are often texted, emailed, or simply typed on the computer. The joy of being honored with a hand-written “thank you” (made up of misshapen letters created by a 5 year old) next to a simple picture far outweighs the emailed “thanks.” Preparing the hand-written, thoughtful “thank you” takes time. It honors the person who gave the gift, strengthening your relationship with them.
How do you write a thank you note? Start by getting some postcards or half-sized stationary. Stay away from full sheets because you want to write a simple “thank-you note,” not a novel. Grab a pen, not a pencil. You want your words of gratitude and honor to last longer than pencil markings. Now, what to write…
· Begin by greeting the giver. A simple “Dear….” 
· Express your gratitude. Simply thank them for the gift. Statements like “Thank you for the beautiful shirt” or “I really appreciate the book you gave me.” If you received a gift of money, you may want to thank them for their “generosity” rather than the specific amount–“I appreciate the generous gift you sent” or “thank you for your kindness.”
· Say something nice about the gift and how you will use it. People like to know that you have found the gift useful or helpful. So, let them know what you like about the gift or how you will use it. You might say things like, “The sweatshirt you gave me will really keep me warm on the cool nights this fall” or “I’ve been waiting to buy a new album and your kindness will allow me to do so.”
· Make a personal connection. If you saw them at your birthday party, let them know how much you enjoyed seeing them. If you received the gift in the mail, let them know you think about them and note a time you hope to see them in the future.
· Wrap it up. Thank them one more time for the gift. Finish up with a closing and your name–“Thinking of You, John” or “Love, Hanna” or “Yours Truly, Kaitlyn.”
Pretty simple, right? Come to think of it, I have fallen behind on “thank you notes,” too. This is an art I need to practice more myself. I think I’ll go get some cards right now so I’m ready to go. Thanks for the reminder.
world of work or school. That may sound harsh, but true none the less…just watch the news. Students enter the “sacred halls of education” through metal detectors and security guards to sit in classrooms as canine police sniff out lockers for paraphernalia. In the classrooms and hallways, kids strive to satisfy an unquenchable thirst for attention at the expense of their peers. Queen bees slander other students and top dogs humiliate those under them on the social ladder. Each month, we witness multiple news reports of bullying and media harassment; or, we listen as our children tell us about all the “drama” that goes on between students. 
worked with a young man whose father left him and his mother when he was an infant. Last he heard, his father was in another state engaging in “less than legal activity.” He was angry with his father. He was embarrassed to carry his father’s name. We spent a great deal of time talking about how he could “redeem the name” for his future family and children. In the meantime, when teachers said, “Oh you’re so-and-so’s son,” he knew he had to work to change their impression of him. He had to fight against a name that carried negative connotations and brought him shame and embarrassment.
At any rate, the principle of “easy come, easy go” holds true in the “Family Bank of Honor” as well. We rarely speak directly about this bank, but we act on it all the time. We make regular, daily deposits into the “Family Bank of Honor” by practicing daily acts of kindness, respect, grace, and celebration. Every time we listen and respond in love, we make a deposit into the “Family Bank of Honor.” When we speak to one another with kindness or give encouragement and praise, we make a deposit into the “Family Bank of Honor.” A hug, a kiss, or even a loving slap on the back, represents another deposit into the “Family Bank of Honor.” Sometimes, the deposits are obvious; other times, they are subtle and less clear, like honoring one another’s efforts to connect by responding with energy and attention. Whether obvious or not, we make multiple deposits each day into the “Family Bank of Honor.” With each deposit, we enrich our relationships and accrue more emotional savings in the “Family Bank of Honor.” 
good exchanges for every one negative exchange during an argument. He also noted that “master couples” have as many as twenty positive experiences for every one negative experience when they are normally engaged. In other words, happy couples have at least five more positive feelings and interaction than unhappy couples, five to twenty deposits for every withdrawal. So, here is the basic two-step plan for investing in the “Family Bank of Honor:” 
Imagine that your family members are royalty. They are kings, queens, princes, and princesses. Throughout the week, speak to them like royalty. Fill your speech toward your royal family with polite words, affirming words, and loving words. Take note of some task they finish and praise them for their effort. Affirm the special strengths they exhibit. Acknowledge the special talents they have. Appreciate acts of kindness. Even a simple “thank-you” or “you’re welcome” will score major points in this game of “Gung-ho Honor.” 
royal family members. Serve them breakfast, treat them to a massage, or do their chore for them. Give an extra hug to each family member, especially if they feel down. Make it your goal to affirm and encourage them with your actions. Hold the door open, clean up their dishes, let them have the last cookie. Whatever it takes let your actions reveal how much you value your family.