Family by God&#039;s Design

The Success of the “Good Enough Parent”

Donald Winnicott, a British pediatrician, coined the term “good enough mother” in the 1950’s. Today, however, many parents fear that “good enough” just isn’t good enough. They strive to become the “perfect parent.” But becoming a “perfect parent” just isn’t possible. In fact, striving to become the “perfect parent” will backfire and create even more...

Celebration Family Shepherds

activities development parent child relationship parenting play

June 10, 2024

Five Things Teens Want You to Know

Ellen Galinsky, author of The Breakthrough Years, surveyed over 1,600 people between 9 years old and 19 years old and their parents. She collated their answer into five important messages teens want adults to know about them. One, teens want adults to understand their development. All too often adults view teens as “deficient adults”–immature, moody,...

adolescence parent child relationship parenting teen

April 29, 2024

“Take 10” Before Answering Your Children

Sometimes it’s best to not give your children an immediate answer. I know they’ll complain. After all, they want an answer “now.” However, there are times to “take 10” (or 20 or 30 or even a whole day) before answering. Not all answers come easily or quickly. In fact, let me offer 4 times it’s...

discipline parent child relationship parenting self-control

April 20, 2024

The Benefit of Inaccurate Information

We seem to live in days filled with misinformation, disinformation, and conspiracy. I find it frustrating and disappointing. Worse, I find it somewhat frightening for our children. But…then again… inaccurate information does offer our children benefits IF—and only IF—we develop and nurture a secure, stable, trusting relationship with them. When children have a secure relationship...

Family Shepherds Grace

learning parent child relationship trust wisdom

April 13, 2024

To Teach or Not To Teach

Parents want their children to grow in knowledge, to do well in school and get accepted into a university that will set their career on a great trajectory. To accomplish this end, parents often take the role of teaching their children. That is all well and good, but it’s not the most effective way for...

attachment learning parent child relationship teaching values

April 1, 2024

No One Told Me

When my wife and I had children, no one told me how difficult it would be to let them go, especially as they left home. No one told me the emotional challenge inherent in allowing them to leave home and begin their independent, adult journey through life. The first person I heard talk about the...

emotional health letting go parent child relationship parenting

March 25, 2024

The “Big Little Leap” & All the Leaps That Follow

Ah…the experience of joy on the first day of kindergarten. I never really understood the parental struggle mixed with pride and joy when “letting go” of children until I dropped mine off for their first days of school. It was the first of many leaps that culminated in dropping them off at college or watching...

healthy development leaving home parent child relationship relationship

March 18, 2024

The Parent’s Key

I like what Alison Gopnik said in The Gardner and The Carpenter: “The key to love in practice is doing things together, participating in the world in a way that acknowledges the strengths and weaknesses of both of you.” Her book, and this quote, are about becoming a parent as a form of love. One...