It’s bound to happen, inevitable, unavoidable. Sooner or later you will set an age appropriate, loving limit on your child’s behavior and he will get angry. He will become 
furious with you and argue. As a good parent, you will stick to your guns; after all, you know the limit is for your child’s best interest. Suddenly your child will look you straight in the eye and say, “You’re the worst mom ever. You’re so mean. I hate you. I wish I lived somewhere else!” They may not use those exact words, but you’ll feel the sting. They may not even say the words out loud, but you’ll feel the laser cold stare they shoot at you. Really, it is unavoidable. It will happen. What’s more important than when it happens is how you respond!
Children need to know their parents are bigger and stronger than they are. They need to know their parents can and will survive their anger and harsh impulsive words. When your children blurt out the “I hate you…You’re so mean” mantra, do not strike back. Do not return anger for anger. Offer them a blessing instead, a blessing consisting of three parts.
- Acknowledge their anger and frustration. “I’m sorry this is so frustrating for you” or “I can tell this really makes you angry” are the kinds of statements that acknowledge and empathize with your children’s emotions. When you acknowledge your children’s emotions, you children will know you care enough to hear and understand them. You do not fear their emotions. Instead, you accept their emotions…and them.
- Confirm your continued love for them. You might simply say, “I still love you” or “I love you too much to let you (insert the behavior you’re limiting).” Your children learn that even when you stare into their face of anger you love them. Your love is unwavering, not conditioned on their emotions or behavior.
- Stick to you guns. Yes, the limit still stands. An age appropriate, loving limit does not disappear in the wash of your children’s anger. It remains intact because it is securely grounded in your loving desire for your children’s best interest.
Your children will learn several crucial lessons from this 3-part blessing. They will learn you love them. You are stronger than their anger. Their anger will not scare you away. And a loving limit remains, even in the face of anger. Give it a try…you might be surprised at the results.
had a wonderful weekend—the weather was good, the time was relaxing, the fellowship was awesome, and the teaching was excellent. Each year, I like to share a few things I learned at family camp; so, here are 3 blessings I received from Family Camp this year. 
factors involved in family happiness (learning from my multiple mistakes), I have finally discovered a miracle cure for many family ails. That’s right, a single practice that can increase family energy and enhance optimism. It will also increase the social connections among family members and decrease conflict. This single practice can even build happiness while decreasing depression, envy, greed, and materialism. Even more, research has shown this practice to help people sleep more soundly, take better care of themselves, and resist viral infections better. In children, research has shown that engaging in this family panacea leads to better grades, fewer complaints of headaches and stomach aches, and better relationships with family and friends. Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? However, I have experienced the effectiveness of this attitude in action in my own life and family. Maybe you have already figured out what I’m talking about…gratitude. That’s right: gratitude can do all this for you and your family (read more 
member list three things for which they are grateful. List them in a family gratitude journal or write them on strips of paper to build your gratitude wall. If you do not like the idea of a journal or a gratitude wall, use your imagination to create a gratitude bank, a gratitude flower garden (on the fridge), or a gratitude house. Whatever you choose, take the opportunity for each family member to share what has made them grateful each day.
celebrate one another’s strengths, and honor someone who has contributed to your family success. It does take a little planning, but even the planning can be fun. 
Third, design your Beautiful Family Day. Consider what you will eat (pick something from each person’s favorites food list), what you will do (pick something from each person’s favorite activities list), and when you will begin. As you plan, include at least three things. Include a way for each family member to use one of their strengths in contributing to the day. Perhaps one person enjoys cooking and can cook a special dish for the family. One person may enjoy music and could perform a song for the family. You get the idea. Also include time to visit the person for whom you wrote the testimonial. Perhaps you can meet them for coffee or invite them to your home for dessert. Plan to present the testimonial to them (perhaps read it to them) and prepare a copy for them to keep. Finally, include at least one activity that will benefit someone outside your family. You might “Run for the Cure,” sing for 30-minutes at a nursing home, take a child you know on one of your activities, or buy a gift for a shut-in while you’re out. Use your imagination to think of what you might do to benefit someone outside your family. 
maintain harmony than rock the boat.” Unfortunately, those little irritations can pile up, getting heavier and heavier, until we feel smothered. In anger, we begin to lash out at minor irritations, packing them together into giant cannonballs that we can fire at our family. At that point, we know that the “shut up and put up” strategy has backfired and turned into a “lash out and stone ’em” reaction. The “lash out and stone ’em” reaction results in family pain and disconnection. If the “shut up and put up” strategy does not work, what’s a spouse to do?
that they had some positive intent in the irritating behavior, acknowledge it. Thank them for the positive intent, positive behaviors, and positive investment they make in your relationship. Doing so sets the stage for a more congenial interaction. Your spouse will know that you approach them in love and they will feel safer opening up to you. They will have an easier time hearing what you have to say since they feel appreciated. In other words, let your first statements be statements of love and appreciation, setting the stage for an open and loving interaction.
help you “go the distance” in your family life.
To really “go the distance” requires prevention as well. A yearly checkup can help to diagnoses various health conditions before they get bad, making treatment easier and more effective. The same is true in relationships. In fact, a yearly relationship check up can save a marriage, strengthen parent-child relationships, and lead to more satisfying family relationships. And, a family check up is free. That’s right, you can monitor the progress yourself. Here are some suggestions.
A woman from our church family passed away at the end of January. She was 98 years old. She was a retired school teacher and students from fifty years ago still called her Mrs. Carlson. Friends and those who met her during retirement, called her Eva. Those who had the privilege of growing up in the church she attended call her Aunt Lou. Everyone loved her. She was one of the most gracious people I have ever met. People who have known her their whole lives honestly look back and say that she never said a harsh word about anybody. She only had words of kindness, encouragement, and grace.