Family by God&#039;s Design

The Top 6 Ways to Resolve Marital Conflict

A study published in August, 2024, and appearing in Contemporary Family Therapy offers interesting insight into resolving marital conflict. This study utilized data from 1,112 couples. Specifically, this study explored how the conflict resolution style each person brought to their marriage contributed to their ability to effectively manage conflict in the relationship. They identified 23...

Grace Honor

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March 16, 2024

The Harmony of Truth and Love in Conflict

The happiest marriages hold a beautiful harmony of truth and love, even in the midst of conflict. I like how Jimmy Evans puts it (You can read this quote from Jimmy Evans and more @ Jimmy Evans Quotes (Author of Tipping Point) (goodreads.com)): “Truth without love is like surgery without anesthesia. Love without truth is...

Grace Honor

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February 17, 2024

The Power of Speaking with Vulnerable Honesty

Every married couple will experience disagreements and conflict. However, how we say what we say can calm a conflict or escalate it, arouse defensiveness or cooperation. It can push away or draw near, disempower or empower. Consider these statements and possible alternatives. “I hate staying in every night. We never do anything together.” That feels...

Celebration Honor

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September 23, 2023

Hold Their Hand

Maybe the Beatles had something important for couples in conflict. They may not have known it, but nonetheless, it was an important message for couples in conflict. That message? “I want to hold your hand.” That’s right. Usually, we talk about improving verbal communication when it comes to conflict with our spouses. But the Beatles...

Celebration Grace

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August 19, 2023

Marital Conflict, Fathers, & Children

If you’ve been married longer than your honeymoon, you know that marital conflicts will arise. Even people who love one another and want to spend the rest of their lives together have disagreements. Those conflicts and disagreements also impact their children. On the one hand, angry, stressed-out parents might take their anger out on their...

Family Shepherds Grace Honor

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August 6, 2022

The First 3 Minutes: Predicting & Reflecting

Three minutes. That’s all it took. Three minutes…and the researchers could predict who would be divorced within six years. It was a study completed by John Gottman and Sybil Carrere to see if the way a discussion of marital conflict began would predict divorce. The study involved observing couples engage in 15-minute conversations about an...

Celebration Grace Honor

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May 21, 2022

Sweet Marital Moments That “Keep On” Giving

We all experience disagreements and arguments with our spouses. We probably even get irritated and agitated with them from time to time. Researchers in this study opened the door for such experiences by asking 154 middle-aged and older heterosexual married couples to have an intimate conversation about a “conflict in their relationship.” Can you imagine?...

Celebration Honor

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January 31, 2022

Give Your Spouse a Break

Did you ever notice how we often give our friends a break when they do something that irritates us? They show up late for our coffee date…”probably caught in traffic” or “had trouble getting the kids off to school.” They didn’t bring us the recipe we had asked for… “oh well, I’ll get it next...

Grace Honor

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February 27, 2021

In Marital Conflict, “What” Is In Charge

When it comes to conflict with your spouse, “what” is in charge. Not who, “what.” If left to its own devices, the “what” in charge of your marital conflict will leave no “who” in charge. Let me explain. In many marital arguments, anger and fear represent the “what” that takes charge. Anger and fear shape...