My friend says the “grass is always greener on the other side.” I don’t know. I’ve found that the grass is always greener when I fertilize. My grass stays green through the summer and fall when 
I take care of the lawn. Trouble is…some summers (like this summer) I get too busy to take care of my lawn. It gets overgrown with weeds and turns brown earlier in the fall. My neighbor fertilized this year and I didn’t. He still has a beautiful lawn…mine is burned out and full of weeds. So, next year I fertilize (well, at least that’s the plan). After all, the grass is always greener when I fertilize.
The same is true in marriage. The best marriages belong to those who fertilize, who take care of their own marital lawn rather than looking at someone else’s. In fact, if you look at other couples and think the grass is always greener on the other side, you definitely need to look at your daily lawn care and use a little marital fertilizer. To help you get started toward a beautiful marital lawn, here are a couple of marital lawn care ideas.
· Get rid of the weeds that threaten to choke out the healthy growth in your marital lawn. Forgiveness is great for getting rid of deep-rooted weeds like anger and resentment.
· Time management skills help to eradicate those pesky weeds that seem to pop up all over the place and multiple like dandelions. Time management means learning to say “no” to those activities that might interfere with your marriage and making time to spend with your spouse. Without time management, weeds of busy-ness will grow like dandelions and destroy your marital lawn.
· Get rid of the grubs and other pests that eat the roots of your healthy lawn. The best way to keeps grubs and pests out of your lawn is to utilize a secret lawn care ingredient made up of equal parts admiration, affection, and acknowledgement. Take the time every day to think about the attributes you admire in your spouse. After you have thought of these attributes, tell your spouse. In other words, tell your spouse at least one thing you admire about them every day. Follow that acknowledgement of admiration with a show of affection…like a hug, a kiss, a stroke of the cheek, a holding of the hand…you can use your imagination to think of others.
· Water your marital lawn every day with a healthy shower gratitude and kindness. Show your spouse how much they mean to you by doing kind deeds for them every day. Express gratitude for the kind deeds they do for you.
· Keep your marital lawn well-irrigated with politeness as well. Let “thank you,” “please,” “after you,” and “excuse me” flow freely through the soil of your marriage.
· Put some extra fertilizer on your garden. The three ingredients of this fertilizer will keep your marital lawn healthy, green, and plush—it’s the 20-2/6-3 fertilizer
o A 20 minute conversation each day to talk about what happened during the day and upcoming plans.
o At least 2 hugs a day, each lasting 6 seconds or more.
o Share at least 3 kisses each day–one when you say good-bye, another when you return home, and a third when you go to bed.
If you utilize these marital lawn care practices, you will have a fresh, green lawn free of weeds and pests…and your marriage will prosper. Indeed, the grass is always greener for those who fertilize!
family”)…well, both the dish and the family come to think of it. Anyway, I am talking about a simple way you can turn your family into a happy family. This recipe works especially well in the heat of conflict. 
power to shape the thoughts, moods, and actions of those around us…not just for today but for years to come. How many of us can remember a harsh word spoken to us by a teacher in elementary school? Or, a hurtful word spoken by a parent in their moment of frustration? Yes, words have power. There are two categories of words in particular that carry a subtle yet pervasive power over those who say them and hear them. These words and phrases sound simple, even harmless; but, they have the potential to limit our freedom, increase our guilt, and choke our self-confidence. These two categories of words have an especially strong impact on our family members. I suggest we ban them from the family. Let me explain.
person, but the absolute in the statement implies the person cannot and will not change! A person responds to these accusations with defensiveness…and the battle begins. We would all benefit from taking the absolutes out of the equation so we can have a better conversation. Instead of saying “always” or “never,” note what happened “this time” in “this situation.” Allow the person an opportunity to change. 
share a few thoughts. To begin with, sexual intimacy is a gift given by God to a married couple…and a gift given by one person to another. It is a precious gift, a special gift; a gift to be carefully guarded and highly honored. Here are three aspects about the precious gift of sexual intimacy I believe important.
intimacy is not something we use to manipulate our spouse. It is an act in which we tenderly cherish our spouse. Realize that cherishing is revealed through caring and caring translates into a loving empathy that opens us up to the needs of our spouse and a compassion that compels us to relieve that need. When we, as a couple, learn to cherish sexual intimacy, we focus on satisfying our partner’s needs and desires, not our own. We also foster an unconditional acceptance of our spouse…an acceptance that allows us to “stand naked and unashamed” in one another’s presence; an acceptance that calls forth and nurtures the best qualities of our spouse’s life; an acceptance that welcomes, even adores and treasures, our spouse, limitations and all. Cherishing undergirds true and joyous sexual intimacy. 
urpose. If a chunk of coal remains buried under 435,113 pounds of pressure per square inch and remains at temperatures of about 752 degrees Fahrenheit, its carbon composition purifies and its structure modifies to form a different kind of carbon. After this purer form of carbon is mined, a jeweler places it in quick drying cement and cuts a groove in it. He inserts a steel blade into that groove and hits it to cut the carbon into pieces. The jeweler then removes the cut pieces of carbon from the cement and places them in a lathe. Working with another piece of diamond as a cutting tool, the jeweler cuts the pieces into the more familiar shape of a diamond (
diamonds with more respect and care. We honor our fiancés with diamond rings rather than bags of coal. We honor diamonds by treating them with care and respect while we throw coal in the furnace for our own comfort. We honor diamonds by giving them value and treating them as precious while we toss coal aside to trample under foot or on the fire to warm up a burger. We have basically set diamonds apart from coal, stating that diamonds are of much greater value.
Jewish evangelist. His words of love are revolutionary, even today. Implementing his ideas this month will enhance your Valentine’s Day as they revolutionize your relationship with your spouse. Even more, I believe that implementing these words in our homes will spark a revolution that will not only change our families but the world. Yes, this revolution does begin at home. It begins with a personal change in how I respond to my family. This revolution has several components; but I only want to speak of one today. This first component begins the revolution; and it sounds…well, rather revolutionary by today’s standards. Let me explain. 
which we can surrender our rights for them. We constantly seek to lift them above us in having needs met. We become their servant. This revolutionary concept—submission—begins the revolution!
children! I don’t know about you, but I want to pass on a legacy better than “angry,” “gossip,” “selfish,” or any other negative label. I’d rather pass on a legacy of generosity, thoughtfulness, hospitality, gratitude, or kindness. I think I might like to begin the legacy with generosity. A study entitled “Give and You Shall Receive” found that giving generosity to one’s spouse led to greater happiness and marital quality. I like that idea. Moreover, giving generosity had a greater impact than receiving generosity. That finding stands in opposition to our cultural message that close relationships and even marriages “exist primarily to enhance individual happiness and [individual] growth”…in other words, to make me happy. Why would “freely and abundantly giving good things to one’s spouse” increase marital quality and happiness? I’m glad you asked.
ct on the knowledge we gain. We have to make practical use of that information. Having a “head knowledge” of what pleases our spouse does no good unless we put it to practical use…unless we act on it. Generosity involves the actual act of “giving” some gift “freely and abundantly.” In the end, “actions speak louder than words” when it comes to generosity.
marriage filled with romance and intimacy. We strive to have parent-child relationships that remain close through childhood, adolescence, young adulthood and even into our “grandparenting” years. The question is: how can we make this happen? Northwestern University recently published a study that reveals a secret that might help us build happy family relationships. The study asked individuals involved in romantic relationships how much their partners were trying to improve characteristics such as patience, understanding, or being a good listener…you know, relationship-oriented skills. Three months later, the same couples were asked to rate their partner’s level of improvement and their own feelings about the relationship. The answers revealed that people who believe their partner incapable of change tended to discount their efforts to improve. In addition, they became more dissatisfied with their relationship. To state the flip side of this, believing the best about our partner will help us appreciate his or her efforts to improve their relationship skills. Moreover, when we believe the best, we will grow more satisfied with our overall relationship. In fact, the author of the study (Daniel Molden) suggests that “a secret to building a happy relationship is to embrace the idea that your partner can change, give him or her credit for making these types of efforts, and resist blaming him or her…” Although this study was conducted specifically with romantic couples, I believe the results may apply to family relationships in general. 
So, the secret to building happy family relationships is to believe the best about your family members. Reminds me of a line from the famous love poem Paul wrote to the Corinthians. You remember the line–“love believes all things.” 
unturned in the quest to recognize the other person’s effort to grow. 
family. It’s true; men do strive to become godly spiritual leaders in the family. But, what does that mean? Does it simply mean reading the Bible with our spouse and children? Perhaps even expounding on the Scripture? Does it mean assuring that each family member spends time in pray and making time to pray together as a couple or family? Is it the spiritual leader’s responsibility to make sure the family goes to worship services and Bible studies? We like to use these activities as markers of our spiritual leadership because we can more easily measure our productivity. Statements like, “I prayed with my wife…” or “When I led my children in Bible study…” become indicators of our effectiveness as a spiritual leader. However, the mark of a great spiritual leader is much less visible than any of these behaviors imply. In fact, these visible markers tell us very little about the more subtle, and perhaps more important, actions of a spiritual leader. Consider these 4 foundational behaviors of strong spiritual leadership. 
that may lead into deeper discussions. Make it part of your everyday conversation. 