Family by God&#039;s Design

Pet Peeve Phrases I Wish I Never Said

Some phrases we say in families are powerful. For instance, “I love you” can energize your loved one, lead to deeper connection with them, and change their day for the better. In a similar manner, “How can I help you?” is a question packed with the power of intimacy and connection. But there are some...

Family Shepherds Honor

appreciation communication connection emotions language

October 28, 2023

On the Line of Scrimmage

Let’s face it…we have feelings. Our children have feelings. Our spouses have feelings. Those feelings can impact how we say what we say…and how others understand what we say. For instance, saying “Wait a minute” in an exasperated tone communicates something different than saying the same thing in a calm tone. We read into a...

Family Shepherds Grace

arguments communication disagreement

October 9, 2023

Are You There For Me?

Our families are filled with people—spouses, children, us—who crave connection. But you already know that. You have experienced that craving in yourself and seen it in others, I’m sure. In fact, the #1 goal of arguments is connection. We desire emotional connection with one another. Emotional connection makes us secure. It communicates our acceptance. And...

Celebration Honor

communication connection emotional health presence

August 19, 2023

Marital Conflict, Fathers, & Children

If you’ve been married longer than your honeymoon, you know that marital conflicts will arise. Even people who love one another and want to spend the rest of their lives together have disagreements. Those conflicts and disagreements also impact their children. On the one hand, angry, stressed-out parents might take their anger out on their...

Family Shepherds Grace Honor

communication conflict marriage parenting resolving conflict

August 5, 2023

Marriage, Money, & Your Bank Account

When people get married, they have several decisions to make. Some of those decisions center on finances…and these financial decisions reflect beliefs about power and trust. With that in mind, researchers have completed studies to discover the impact of having a joint account versus separate accounts in a marriage. A longitudinal study published in March...

Honor

communication finance intimacy marriage

June 17, 2023

Have a Conversation & Call Me in the Morning…Doctor’s Orders

All of us want to enjoy a happy, low stress life. Perhaps even more, we want our children to have a happy, low stress life. I’d like to say if found a way to make that happen 100% of the time…unfortunately, I can’t. But a recent study suggests that one simple activity, done on a...

Celebration Honor

communication community happiness well-being

June 12, 2023

Is Child Emotional Neglect Sneaking Into Your Marriage?

Everybody enters marriage carrying “baggage”—positive and negative experiences and learning from our childhood and premarital years. Sometimes that includes a childhood in which emotions were dismissed, avoided, or even punished. When that is the case, a person may have difficulty connecting with their spouse. Their spouse, as a result, may begin to feel emotionally neglected...

Grace Honor

communication intimacy marriage

February 27, 2023

The Humility of Listening

We all have a desire to be heard. That sounds like such a simple desire, doesn’t it? But “to be heard” is more than having people within earshot to hear our voice and the words we verbalize. We also want them to understand what we are saying—to truly comprehend the meaning, the intent, and the...

Honor

communication humility intimacy kindness listen

December 19, 2022

What A Slap to the Face

“Don’t be stupid.” “You’re an idiot.” “You are a lazy bum.” Ouch, what a slap to the face. Three of them in fact. Just reading an insult hurts a little, doesn’t it? Each one is like a “mini slap to the face “… literally. At least that is what Dr. Struiksma, the lead author of...