Family by God&#039;s Design

How to Raise MEAN Kids…or NOT

“Controlling parents create mean college kids.” Having taught at a local college for several years and having two kids in college right now, that headline caught my attention. I have known quite a few mean college kids. The worst were the ones who engaged in what psychologist call “relational aggression.” They were not physically aggressive,...

Family Shepherds Grace

acceptance availability consequences teach

September 26, 2016

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“You’re the Worst Mom Ever:” A 3-Part Blessing

It’s bound to happen, inevitable, unavoidable. Sooner or later you will set an age appropriate, loving limit on your child’s behavior and he will get angry. He will become furious with you and argue. As a good parent, you will stick to your guns; after all, you know the limit is for your child’s best...

Family Shepherds Grace

anger blessing discipline emotions parent child relationship validation

September 17, 2016

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Saved From the Tyranny of the Family Label

Growing up in a family we often find ourselves socialized into particular roles. Family members get “pigeon-holed” as the scapegoat, the smart one, the trouble-maker, the helper, the athlete, etc. Those labels shape how we think. When we are treated like a helper, we grow to think of ourselves as a helper. When constantly treated...

Grace Honor

acceptance emotional health family intimacy healthy development label

August 22, 2016

You Gotta Be Kiddin’ Me

I’m really not surprised by the findings of this study when I think about it…but it took four studies to bring this information to light. Unfortunately, it seems to be some of the common knowledge that has been lost over the last several generations. Research out of the University of Chicago—Booth School of Business explored...

Grace Honor

discipline family intimacy parent child relationship teach trust

August 13, 2016

Marital Conflict & the Fly on the Wall

Every married couple will experience conflict. Spouses disagree. Fortunately, the University of Waterloo is discovering ways to promote the successful resolution of that conflict. Here are two research based exercises they suggest for resolving marital conflict in a positive way: The Fly on the Wall. When you find yourself in conflict with your spouse, take...

Grace Honor

arguments conflict intimacy marriage

July 11, 2016

Changing the World: Families Sharing Grace

Watching the news today saddens me. The world is troubled. Vengeance, power grabbing, and insecure self-obsession have reached an all-time high. They have hit the streets in our communities…and our communities have become more dangerous and isolated as a result. They roam the halls in our schools…and our children suffer, even going from class to...

Grace

acceptance family intimacy forgiveness sacrifice serve

June 18, 2016

Arguing With Your Spouse: A Pain in the Back…or Worse!

The University of CA (Berkeley) and Northwestern University recently published the results of a study following 156 heterosexual couples for 20 years. The authors examined how the couple’s way of managing “conflict conversations” impacted their health over time. They found a link between “stonewalling” (which includes barely speaking, little to no eye contact, emotionally shutting...

Grace Honor

arguments disagreement intimacy listen love marriage

May 16, 2016

A 30-Day Marriage Challenge

Marriage Missions posted a blog describing a wonderful way to build intimacy with your spouse. In it they described the “22-minute date.” Couples agreed to spend 22-minutes each day talking with one another. In other words, they gave up one sitcom so they could sit down and talk with one another. They agreed to do...

Celebration Grace

intimacy marriage spouse

April 23, 2016

The Top 6 Components of an Effective Apology

Let’s face it; we all make mistakes. We all do things in and to our families for which we need to apologize. It could be something as simple as forgetting to pick up the milk or as complex as feeling unloved. Whatever it is, an apology is in order. But, not just any apology will...