Family by God&#039;s Design

Teach Your Children How to “Mind Read”

“Mind reading” is one of the most important skills our children can learn. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about crystal ball stuff or telepathy. I mean developing what psychologists call a “theory of mind”—the ability to understand and take the perspective of another person’s feelings and intentions. This “theory of mind” or “mind...

Family Shepherds

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May 4, 2020

The #1 Goal of Marital Arguments

Have you ever thought about the #1 goal of marital arguments? At first glance, you may think the goal is “to win. To make my spouse understand or see it my way.” But that is NOT the most important goal, the one we desire most. Let me ask the question differently. Do you want to...

Grace Honor

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December 28, 2019

The Maariaage Ruummble

“Let’s get ready to rumble!” Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to this evening’s marital bliss match. It promises to be a classic in every sense of the word. In the blue corner we have the husband, weighing in 180 pounds. Known for his silent fighting skills and constant use of humor, he sometimes...

Grace Honor

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March 25, 2019

When a Shirt is More Than a Shirt

It was old, no doubt. Some looked at it and saw holes and frayed sleeves, my wife included. She saw a rag, something to use while cleaning or, better yet, something to simply throw away. But I saw so much more. I saw comfort. I saw years of companionship (we’d been together since college). I...

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June 12, 2017

The Wings on Which Your Children Soar

Did you know intelligence (IQ) only predicts about 20% of a person’s success? It’s true. Brains alone do not equal success. On the other hand, 80% of what predicts a person’s success involves social and emotional intelligence (More in Why Emotional Intelligence is More Important than IQ). To prepare our children for success in relationships...

Family Shepherds

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July 28, 2014

8 Ways to Teach Children to Be Kind to Others

Model kindness. You didn’t think I would start anyplace else, did you? Whatever we want our children to learn, we have to practice ourselves. So, be kind to your children. Be kind to your spouse. Be kind to friends. Be kind to strangers. Encourage children to think kindly about others. Here are three ways you...

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July 5, 2014

Quit Taking Your Spouse’s Perspective

Who should you think about during an argument with your spouse—me, you, I, us??? That is a good question. We have probably all heard the advice to step back and see our spouse’s point of view during an argument. This common wisdom advises us to see things through the other person’s eyes and walk a...

Grace Honor

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May 12, 2012

Children, Perspective-Taking, & A Soccer Game

My wife and I were playing ball with our 3 1/2-year-old daughter. We rolled the ball, bounced the ball, threw the ball…you know the drill. At one point, my wife ran inside to do something. I suggested to my daughter that we “hide the ball from Mommy” and ask her to find it when she...