If you are looking for the most powerful discipline weapon known to man, you 
have come to the right place. It will sound simple…too simple. In fact, I’m almost embarrassed to even mention this disciplinary tool. Still, it is powerful. This disciplinary weapon is powerful enough that most adults still recall how their parents used it. No, it is not the paddle or “time out.” It is not “spare the rod spoil the child.” The most powerful discipline weapon known to man is… (drum roll please)…Positive Attention! I told you it would sound simplistic; but, before you quit reading, consider these few important facts about the power of positive attention.
have come to the right place. It will sound simple…too simple. In fact, I’m almost embarrassed to even mention this disciplinary tool. Still, it is powerful. This disciplinary weapon is powerful enough that most adults still recall how their parents used it. No, it is not the paddle or “time out.” It is not “spare the rod spoil the child.” The most powerful discipline weapon known to man is… (drum roll please)…Positive Attention! I told you it would sound simplistic; but, before you quit reading, consider these few important facts about the power of positive attention.Children crave their parents’ attention. They will do anything to gain their parent’s attention. And, children are careful observers of their parents. They observe what it takes to gain their parent’s attention. If parents only attend to loud behavior, then children will engage in loud behavior. If parents only attend to misbehavior, then children will engage in misbehavior. If children have to pursue a preoccupied parent’s attention, then they will pursue it by any means necessary. I actually knew a child who tried several strategies to gain his mother’s attention before lighting a roll of toilet paper on fire and tossing it into his mother’s lap while she stared at the TV. He did gain her attention…but at what cost!
The point is: children crave their parents’ attention. With this knowledge, parents can prevent a lot of negative behavior simply by attending to their children’s positive behaviors. When children learn that their parents attend to helpful behaviors, they will engage in more helpful behavior. If parents attend to polite requests, polite requests will increase. When parents respond and attend to simple requests for 
interaction, children learn to make simple and appropriate requests for interaction. So, as the old saying goes, “Catch ’em being good.” Pay attention to “good behavior” and more good behavior will follow. Show appreciation for the behavior you desire. Offer specific praise when your children put effort into the behaviors and tasks you value. The behaviors you acknowledge, and respond to with positive attention, will increase!
interaction, children learn to make simple and appropriate requests for interaction. So, as the old saying goes, “Catch ’em being good.” Pay attention to “good behavior” and more good behavior will follow. Show appreciation for the behavior you desire. Offer specific praise when your children put effort into the behaviors and tasks you value. The behaviors you acknowledge, and respond to with positive attention, will increase! To honestly pinpoint how you attend to your children, spend a week recording two aspects about your interactions with your children. For every interaction or attempted interaction, record:
1. How your children attempted to gain your attention, and
2. What was the focus of your interactions with your children–discipline or relationship building, correction or acknowledgement, frustration with them or fun with them.
At the end of the week, review the results. What did you do more: praise positive behavior and effort or punish negative behavior? Did you put more effort into acknowledging positive behaviors…or punishing negative behaviors? Were your interactions centered on positive attention and sharing encouragement…or were your interactions centered on correction and discipline? Be honest with yourself. Then, start utilizing the most powerful disciplinary weapon known to man…positive attention!
Accountability enables children to know right from wrong, to courageously stand for right, and to live out values of virtue and integrity. With that goal in mind, parents hold children accountable. But, do you wield accountability as if it were a club or a staff? 
knows that helping children grow is anything but simple! Here are four steps that just might ease the way a little. At the very least, these four steps for helping change behavior will provide a guideline to keep parents on the path toward growing healthy, mature children. The first step involves increasing your children’s awareness of the problem and how it affects them. They will not gain that awareness if we, as parents, continue to bail them out of the problem or minimize the consequences of the problem behavior. As long as parents bail them out of every problem or minimize the consequences of the behavior, children never realize that the problem actually affects them. Let the natural consequences of behavior fall where they may. Let the children endure some of the discomfort and pain that naturally results from problem behavior. 
Map out the logical consequences of each alternative behavior step by step, so your children will understand the benefits of the new behavior. Your children may have to learn skills, avoid certain places, make new friends, build up the courage to talk with an adult, etc. These steps take energy and time. As you review these steps with your child, compare the costs in time and energy to the benefits gained over time. Make sure your children recognize and believe that the alternatives behaviors are worth the effort. If they do not, recall the negative results of the problem behavior and continue to explore alternative behaviors until you agree upon one in which the benefits outweigh the costs. Also, discuss how you, as a parent, can support your children in making the change. Once you have an agreed upon alternative, make a commitment to change. 
had no control. He was all over the place—climbing the walls (literally) and touching everything. The neurologist walked in to see my exasperation. Then he performed a miracle. He produced a small wind-up toy from his pocket, wound it up, set it on the bed, and walked out of the room. The toy took three small steps, banged small cymbals, and did a flip…over and over again. The 6-year-old stopped running around and watched the toy. When it stopped performing, he wound it up and started over. Throughout the process, he stayed calm. He began to learn the art of waiting. And I began to learn my role in helping children learn to wait. Since then, I have learned several lessons to help children wait. Here are five tips to help your child learn the art of waiting…and keep you from pulling your hair out at the same time. 
you recognize how much your child values that activity. He feels understood and appreciated. And, with that understanding firmly in place, he will become more willing to wait when necessary. Sometimes you will not have the time to allow your child to finish his project before you have to move on to the “next thing.” When that is the case, give a warning. Let him know he only has 20 more minutes to finish what he can and clean up. Help him determine a good spot to stop for the day. Warn him again at 10 minutes and then at 5 minutes let him know it is time to clean up. 
Know what I think is harder than failing myself? Watching one of my family members experience failure. I hate to watch wave of disappointment, sorrow, and discouragement wash across their face. Even more, it hurts to hear them talk as though they are a failure and will never experience success. What can we do to help our family cope with perceived failures? There are several ways to respond: offering support, teaching, helping distract, using denial, venting, blaming, disengaging, or even abusing substances. However, research suggests three strategies prove most effective in dealing successfully with perceived failures. 
ence, determination, integrity, and overall strength of character. 
family. It’s true; men do strive to become godly spiritual leaders in the family. But, what does that mean? Does it simply mean reading the Bible with our spouse and children? Perhaps even expounding on the Scripture? Does it mean assuring that each family member spends time in pray and making time to pray together as a couple or family? Is it the spiritual leader’s responsibility to make sure the family goes to worship services and Bible studies? We like to use these activities as markers of our spiritual leadership because we can more easily measure our productivity. Statements like, “I prayed with my wife…” or “When I led my children in Bible study…” become indicators of our effectiveness as a spiritual leader. However, the mark of a great spiritual leader is much less visible than any of these behaviors imply. In fact, these visible markers tell us very little about the more subtle, and perhaps more important, actions of a spiritual leader. Consider these 4 foundational behaviors of strong spiritual leadership. 
that may lead into deeper discussions. Make it part of your everyday conversation. 
a fish measurement describing the distance around the periphery of an average size aquarium) and he wanted more. His parents seemed perfectly content living in this confined glass bowl, but Cokey wanted freedom. He wanted to live his own life, choose his own destiny. He looked through the glass of the aquarium and longed to sit on the couch. “Cokey,” his parents would say, “You can’t sit on that couch. Be happy in the aquarium where you belong. Enjoy resting by that beautiful fern over there.” Cokey wanted to feel the texture of the carpet, taste the cheese on the coffee table (“oh the power of cheese”), and watch the TV with no glass pane in the way. 
do. I should have stayed in the aquarium and listened to my parents.” The cat walked closer. Cokey began to panic. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t run. He closed his eyes and prayed. Suddenly, he felt himself lifted from the ground…but instead of feeling a cat’s tongue lick against his scales, he felt a finger gently rub his side and voice asked, “What are doing out here, Cokey? You’re supposed to be in the aquarium.” Opening an eye, Cokey saw the person who always fed him (my mother, by the way). Cokey took a deep breath of water as the woman gently dropped him back into the aquarium. 
expectation of repayment. In many ways, effective parenting flows out of grace. We give things up so our children might have more. We give of our time, our resources and our energy knowing that, if we do this successfully, our children will leave us and live a life independent of us. Sometimes, however, our own tightly held desires and expectations interfere with grace as we burden our children with our unfulfilled dreams. Our personal fears eclipse our ability to help our children identify their personal strengths and build a unique life based on those personal strengths. We desperately hold on to expectations and personal dreams, molding our children in the image of our desire rather than helping them discover their best self, created in the image of God. To really parent with grace, we have to give up the self-focused dreams and expectations we might hold. For instance, as grace-filled parents, we…
explained that teaching children their actions make a difference and teaching them to help other people builds a life filled with happiness. Teaching them to have hope for tomorrow gives them a future with happiness. Teaching them to express gratitude helps build a past filled with happiness and a present life built upon happiness. In this last segment, we will explore one final way to protect our child from depression. This skill helps transform a painful past into a joyous presence. With that in mind, the fifth and final way we will explore to protect your child from depression is forgiveness. 
way that even if they did experience depression, it would be less severe and shorter-lived? 
themselves” and involved in the lives of people around them often helps them escape the self-absorption of depression. 
One way to counteract this is to develop a strong sense of gratitude in your life. Practicing gratitude helps a person to focus on the positive events in their life—which are much nicer to feel overwhelmed by. In addition, practicing gratitude helps a person grow more aware of the positive events in their past and experience greater contentment. So, teaching your children gratitude may help protect them from depression.