Tag Archive for availability

The Fabric of a Fulfilling Family

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A team of psychologists from the University of Zurich recently completed a study (Click Here for review) suggesting that training to improve character strengths increases overall well-being and life satisfaction. More specifically, they found that training a person in curiosity, gratitude, optimism, humor and enthusiasm had the greatest impact on their sense of well-being. That got me thinking…. What would happen if we made curiosity, gratitude, optimism, humor, and enthusiasm part of the fabric of our families? Our children, our spouse, and even our self would become “informally trained” in each of these areas. Each family member would have a greater sense of well-being and life satisfaction. Even more, perhaps the family would experience increased happiness. So, how can we do it? Here are some ideas for training in each of the five character strengths noted.
 
Curiosity: Explore together. You can explore anything and everything with your family–the back yard, the museum, cooking, music, books, movies, or any topic you can imagine. Use your family vacations and travels as opportunities to explore cultures, foods, fun activities, and local interests. Encourage family members to ask questions and use those questions as springboards to exploration. Read together. Reading is such a wonderful way to expand and satisfy a curious mind.
 
Gratitude: Practice daily gratitude by thanking people throughout the day. Thank the checkout clerk for ringing you up, your parent or spouse for cooking dinner, your children for setting the table. Look for opportunities to tell people thank you and do it. If you receive a gift, send a thank you note. Start a gratitude journal. List 3-5 things each day that you are grateful for. Keep the list of thanks in a journal and watch it grow. Review it now and again for a boost of gratitude.
 
Optimism: Watch your explanation of causes. When you talk about frustrating events and disappointments in life, make sure you use language that recognizes the temporal nature of those difficulties. Keep a mole hill a mole hill rather than exaggerate it until it grows into a mountain. Keep a simple setback a simple setback. Don’t talk as though a simple problem has ruined your day, your week, or even your life. Instead, keep in mind that “this too will pass,” differences can be resolved, setbacks overcome, and troubles transcended.
 
Humor: Play. Play is a great way to encourage humor. It also encourages curiosity and optimism. In addition, tell jokes–silly jokes, riddles, childish jokes, weird jokes, even “serious jokes.” If you don’t know any jokes, make one up. If it flops, laugh at yourself and enjoy the humor of it all. Or, read the Sunday comics together. Laugh out loud. Oh, and did I say play? 
 
Enthusiasm: Enthusiasm is enhanced by a healthy lifestyle. So encourage a healthy diet. Eating as a family can encourage a healthy diet and enhance enthusiasm at the same time. It is also an excellent time to try out that new joke you learned. Exercise together. Go for a walk or a bike ride. Go to the pool or the gym. In addition, encourage each family member’s unique interests. Provide opportunities for them to talk about their interests and listen with genuine enthusiasm. Learn about their interest and give little gifts related to their area of interest. Take turns having a night in which you enjoy nothing but the interests a particular family member.
 
There you have it—simple practices you can engage in to weave curiosity, gratitude, optimism, humor, and enthusiasm into the fabric of your family. And, in doing so, create a happier, more fulfilling family life.
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Six A’s of Parenting

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Josh McDowell, in The Disconnected Generation, gives six ways to treat children that are crucial to effective parenting. These six points are not daily actions, but attitudes. They represent how we can effectively relate to our children; and, these points of relating become absolutely essential to raising emotionally and spiritually healthy children. I want to share these six attitudes with you because I believe they truly can make each of us a better parent.

     ·         Affirmation. Children need affirmation. They need parents who will rejoice with them when they rejoice and mourn with them when they mourn. Doing so validates their feelings and communicates that we value them. As parents we will find that listening to and understanding our children’s feelings allows us to connect with them. After we connect in this way, we are in a better position to address their concerns, teach values, and encourage appropriate decision making.

·         Acceptance. Children need to know that we accept them…unconditionally, just as they are. We accept our children based on who they are, not based on performance. Children feel secure when they know we accept them for who they are, not whether they perform well, succeed, or become like us. Ultimately, acceptance gives children a secure base from which they can explore the world.

·         Appreciation. Children blossom when they know their parents appreciate them. Parents can express appreciation for their children in private or in public, in written word or in spoken word, with physical gestures or a simple wink. When we appreciate our children, they gain a sense of significance and come to know that their efforts make a difference. Take note that acceptance needs to precede appreciation. In fact, appreciation without complete and unconditional acceptance is manipulation. So, practice accepting your children as they are…appreciate them for the “natural bent” of who they are. Also, make sure to appreciate their effort more than their accomplishments.

·         Affection. Children crave affection. Loving words and appropriate touch communicates affection to our children. It informs them that they are worth loving; that they are lovable. If parents do not provide loving words and affectionate touch, children will seek it elsewhere, often “looking for love in all the wrong places.” Demonstrate affection in your marriage as well as toward your children. The affection that children see modeled in your marriage gives them a sense of security in the family. It also sets an example of godly, loving affection they can emulate in their lives.

·         Availability. Children need parents who remain available to them—emotionally, mentally, and physically. When parents value their children enough to remain available to them, children gain a sense of importance. Remaining available to our children takes time. In fact, Josh McDowell notes that children spell love “T-I-M-E.” Show your children how much you love them by remaining available to talk with them, play with them, give them a hug, listen to them, or just “hang out” with them on a regular basis.   

·         Accountability. Parents also hold children accountable. By holding children accountable, we give them a sense of responsibility. We hold our children accountable for their actions and their words. We hold them accountable to completing tasks that support the family (chores). We hold them accountable to expectations and living by the values we cherish. At the same time, we balance rules with relationships. Rules and accountability without relationships leads to rebellion. Relationships without rules, on the other hand, lead to irresponsibility. Healthy accountability provides both rules and relationship.

As you practice these six A’s of parenting, you will find your children grow in maturity. They will become responsible young people who value other people’s opinions and rights as much as their own. You will have the joy of seeing them practice loving boundaries with themselves and others.
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One Last Family Hoorah for Summer

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I don’t know about you, but summer flew by for me. It seems like last the schedule never slowed down. The plans for a long, slow, relaxing summer evaporated before they even took shape. School is just around the corner and I still have unfulfilled plans. But, I do have an idea. I won’t get to do everything I want to do this summer, but I hope to have one last family fling. Maybe you would like to enjoy one last family fling too. Well, here are a couple of ideas.
     ·         Have a picnic in the back yard. Finish the picnic off with a bonfire and some s’mores. Invite some friends over to share in the picnic and s’mores. Play some games. Have a good time. Then, eat some more s’mores.

·         There are still some hot summer days left; so take a day off and head to the water park. You could take a day at a local water park or you could go to a nearby hotel that advertises an indoor waterpark. Make it a day or a weekend of enjoying family, water, and relaxation.

·         Do not forget about the amusement parks. Anything from a small local amusement park to a nationally known amusement park can provide great fun for the family. And, you can usually get some great fries, corn dogs, and hot sausage (my favorite part of the amusement park, by the way).

·         Perhaps you have wanted to take that trip to the beach, the lake, or the woods. Well, now is your chance. Book a small cabin, yurt, or campsite, take off early on Friday, and go to the beach, lake, or woods. We enjoyed a couple of nights in a yurt near Washington DC this summer. It was an affordable way to get away and still get to see some of the museums and monuments in DC. You can do the same for the lake or the beach.

·         As we roll through August, many communities will celebrate their community festivals. Community festivals provide a great time for a family hoorah. Many communities celebrate the end of summer with parades, food, activities, and even concerts to enjoy without even having to leave your neighborhood. So, grab your family and head off to a local community festival for great summertime fun.

I’m sure I missed some ideas. What is that one thing you wanted to do all summer but did not get “around to it.” Well consider this your “Round Tuit” and get out there to do it. And, tell us about it in the comment section below. I’m always looking for new ideas to use in celebrating family!
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Don’t Leave Your Family the Leftovers

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When I first started dating my wife, her family [affectionately] decided I was like the family dog—I ate all the leftovers. I love leftovers. Some foods just taste better as leftovers, like spaghetti or soup. Also, some meals are best prepared with leftovers in mind. It’s easier to make a big roast beef and have leftovers. Although this is a good model for food, it is not a good model for family life. In family life, we do not want to leave our family the leftovers of our life. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to give our families the leftovers of our life? Think about it. We go to work or church and put on a happy face. We meet, greet, and schmooze while out and then come home lethargic, sporting a sour puss face, to sit silently in front of the TV. Or, maybe you have had the experience of laughing and having a good time while eating lunch with friends from work. Then, after work, you come home tired, irritable, and in “no mood for that now” when your wife or daughter tries to tell you a long story. As a counselor, I’ve had times when I put my best energy into other people. I patiently listen and empathize. Then I come home and wish my family would leave me alone. All they got of me was the energy, time, mood, and joy that I had left-over after a grueling day. It really isn’t fair. So what can a person do to give their family the prime rib of their life? How can we give our family the best of our time, energy, mood, and joy? Here are five ideas:
     ·         Look at your day and decide when you feel at your best. Some people are morning people. Some are night owls. Whatever you are, give your family some time during that part of the day. Maybe you will give of your best by sharing breakfast with your family. Other people may give the best of themselves by sharing a midnight snack. Whatever time of day you find yourself at your best, share it with your family if possible.

·         Sometimes it is not possible to share the best time of your day with family. In this case, create a transition zone to recoup your energy, time, mood, and joy. Take 10-15 minutes between work and home to relax. Do something that will help you put the day’s stress behind you and rejuvenate you for the rest of the day. This may mean listening to music, taking a 20-minute “power nap,” having a quiet one-on-one with your spouse, practicing yoga, going for a walk…whatever brief activity helps you feel re-energized and able to give your best to your family.

·         Give your family the day. Whether you pick one day a week (perhaps the Sabbath) or one day a month, make a habit of giving a whole day to your family on a regular basis. Martin Seligman describes an exercise he calls “A Beautiful Day.” You might enjoy modifying this “Beautiful Day” exercise for your entire family: Imagine a perfect family day. When would you get up? What would each person enjoy doing together? What would you eat so each person could have something they enjoy? What activities would you engage in so each person could share some activity they really like with the whole family? How would you end the day? As a family, take an evening to imagine and brainstorm the perfect family day. Then, look at your schedules and pick a day to enjoy that “Beautiful Day.” Take pictures, laugh, and enjoy one another’s company as you enjoy your “Beautiful Day.” Later in the month, sit down with the pictures and a favorite family snack while you relive your “Beautiful Day.”

·         Take a family vacation. Maybe your vacation will last a day…maybe two weeks. Maybe you will travel…maybe you will hang out at home. Either way, a vacation is a wonderful time to escape the stresses inherent in your daily grind and simply enjoy your family. Forget about the chores, the deadlines, the homework, and the daily hassles. Put them all aside and give your time, energy, best mood, and humor to your family. Whether you go camping in your back yard for two nights or take a cruise in the Bahamas, enjoy at least one vacation a year with your family.

·         Find a family hobby. Consider some activities that your whole family enjoys and work them into your schedule. These hobbies may include reading, sports, music, visiting museums, hiking, biking, building things, or any number of other activities. Whatever you choose, finding a family hobby allows the whole family to spend time together engaging in an activity that everyone enjoys.

There you go…five ideas to give your family the prime rib of your time, energy, mood, and joy. Give them a try. Sit back and enjoy a full course meal with your family…no leftovers!
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Preventing Anxiety & Insecurity in Children

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Check out this amazing quote: “In our half-century of international research, we’ve not found any other class of experience that has as strong and consistent an effect on personality and personality development as does the experience of rejection, especially by parents in childhood.” Ronald Rohner of the University of Connecticut made this statement after reviewing multiple studies of families and children. To rephrase—nothing has a stronger and more consistent impact on children than the experience of rejection by a parent. That is a bold statement! He goes on to explain that children who feel rejection by their parents tend to feel more anxious and insecure, behave in a more hostile and aggressive way toward others, and even experience difficulty forming secure, trusting relationships as adults. This researcher also noted that perceived rejection activates the same part of the brain as actual physical pain. Rejection hurts and the person who experiences rejection can relive that pain over and over again for years.
 
Children can feel rejected for many reasons. Perhaps they truly do have a rejecting parent. More likely, children have parents who do not actively reject them. Instead, they have parents who do not look up from the paper when their children talk to them…or parents that expend so much time and energy at work that they have no energy left for family…or parents who spend more time with their buddies, their hobbies, their yard, or their project than they do with their children. In each of these cases, children may feel rejected. Why? Because children sense that whatever takes up a parent’s time or attention is the parent’s top priority…everything else is simply rejected, even if that something else is them.
 
Of course, the flip side of rejection is acceptance. When children feel the unconditional acceptance of parents, they feel more secure and confident, they will more easily develop trusting relationships with others, and they learn to resolve difficulties without hostility and aggression. How can you make your child feel accepted? Here are a few hints:
     ·         Spend time talking and playing with them each day. Instead of you directing the play, let them lead. Play what they want to play and follow their lead in play.
·         Notice and describe their actions. Whether you acknowledge that they set the table or colored the dog red, your children learn that you notice them…and, if you notice them, you accept them.
·         Find ways to tell your children “yes.” Of course, you will have to say “no” sometimes, but look for the “yeses” as well. For instance, you may have to say, “No, you can’t go swimming today” but can you add in a “yes” like, “You could go tomorrow (or some other day)”? You will have to say, “No, you can’t play with that.” But, you can add a “yes” by simply saying, “Here, why don’t you play with this instead?” Finding ways to tell your child “yes” informs them that you want them to enjoy life, you accept their curiosity, and you accept their desire to remain active. You simply help them direct that energy in a positive direction.
·         Spend time with your child. Nothing spells love and acceptance like “T-I-M-E.”
·         Laugh with your children. Tell jokes. Be silly. Enjoy a funny show. Make fun of yourself a little bit at times. Teach them to not take life “too seriously,” but to enjoy life along the way.
·         Encourage your children.
·         Surprise your children with little spontaneous gifts or cards. These gifts can range from bringing home a rock for your little rock collector to downloading a new song for the budding musician in your family to cooking a special treat for the young culinary artist.
·         Spend time learning about your children’s interests and asking them about those interests. Pick up a book on that interest. Take them to a related store. Hook them up with another person who has a similar interest. Take up the interest yourself and use that interest as a vehicle to spend time with your child.
·         Did I say spend time with your child?
 
Engaging in behaviors and interactions that make your children feel accepted will yield amazing dividends. Your children will feel more secure and confident and, as a result, engage in more appropriate behavior. They will more easily develop trusting relationships with others, avoiding dangerous relationships and relationships that can derail them into negative behaviors. They will learn to resolve difficult situations with integrity and honor. They will grow up remembering a loving family and wonderful times.
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The Investment Banker’s Wisdom for Families

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This is one of those stories I wish I had thought of…but, I did not. “Anonymous” did. “Anonymous” has written some of the best stuff. Anyway, I want to share it with you because it reveals such great wisdom for the family. Invest in true riches today!
 
An investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The investment banker complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
 
The fisherman replied, “Only a little while.”
 
The investment banker then asked why he didn’t stay out longer and catch more fish.
 
The fisherman said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.
 
The investment banker than asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
 
The fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, Senor.”
 
The investment banker scoffed, “I have a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor and eventually opening your won cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You can leave this small coastal village and move to Mexico City, then LA, and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”
 
“But Senor,” the fisherman asked, “How long will this all take?”
 
To which the American replied, “15-20 years.”
 
“But what then, Senor?”
 
The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions!”
 
“Millions, Senor? Then what?”
 
The American said, “Then you would retire, move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings to sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”
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Investing the Coin of Your Life in Children

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I remember sitting in class during middle school staring at the clock and thinking that “time was really dragging” or, maybe, time had actually come to a stop. Now, I look in the mirror and realized that “time is slipping away.” I guess I’m getting older. Or, according to Zall’s Second Law stating, “How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you stand” I’m just standing on the wrong side of the door. On the other hand, I do wish “time would stand still” sometimes; but it just “keeps marching on.” I realize how much “time has slipped through my fingers” when I take the time to really look at my teenage daughters. They are so “grown up.” Man, “time flies.” “Where did all the time go?”
 
Carl Sandburg was right: “Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.” Sounds a lot like the saying “Time is Money.” No, “time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you can’t get more time” (Jim Rohn). So, how do you spend that currency we call time? Take time right now to “put your money where your mouth is” and consider: Does your expenditure of time reflect your true priorities? Or, is the busy-ness of life robbing the “coin of your life”? Does your time expenditure reveal that your lesser priorities (like sports, music, recreation, even work) have pushed out your more significant priorities (like family, spouse, children)? Have the insignificant and unimportant aspects of life robbed your children of the “coin” you really want to invest in them?
 
Remember, children “spell love, T-I-M-E.” If you “spend” more time on the newspaper, video games, the sports channel, music, your car, or exercise, your children will believe those things more important to you than they are. “Time is the coin of your life.” Your children are watching to see how you spend that coin. Take some time this week and spend time on your children. Play a game. Eat together. Go for a walk. Have a talk. Play catch. Listen to some music. Play a video game together. Each coin of time you invest in your children offers priceless dividends in return. After all, “you have to spend a little to make a little” or, better yet, invest a lot to gain a lot!
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6 Ingredients to Satisfy Your Children’s Hunger for Security

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Do you know what children hunger for most? Security—the kind that flows from relationship. More than anything, children want to know they are secure in their parents’ love and affection. They long to know the security of unconditional acceptance in their parents’ lives. If this hunger goes unsatisfied, children remain restless. They go on the prowl, constantly on the lookout for a relationship that provides acceptance, love, and affection. They will search through the cupboards of community, school, peer groups, and social clubs to find it; and most likely “find it in all the wrong places.” In their restless search, they will struggle with feelings of insignificance, find themselves taken advantage of, and still come up hungry for the security that only a family can provide. How can you satisfy this hunger for security that drives your children? Let me suggest 6 ingredients to satisfy your children’s hunger for security.
 
     1.      Listen. Don’t lecture. Don’t jump in to solve the problem. Listen. Listen with your ears to hear the words and their tone of voice to hear the emotion. Take time to not only understand what they say but what they mean as well. Listen with your eyes. Observe their facial expression and body so you can better understand the emotion behind the words. Finally, listen with your actions as you respond to the need expressed. If they express a need for assistance, assist them. If they express a need to be heard, hear them. If they express a need for acknowledgement, offer praise and congratulations.
 
    2.      Catch ’em in the act…of doing something good. When you do, give voice to your pride. Let them hear the words, “I’m proud of you.” Express your pride in private and in public. You can speak your words of pride or write them in a note. Either way, let them know that you are proud of the person they have become, the effort they put forth, the growth you observe, the positive behavior they engage in, and the good decisions they have made. Even Jesus received the praise of His Father. Take the time to acknowledge your children’s good behavior.
 
     3.      Offer consistent discipline. Consistency in discipline requires that we acknowledge positive behavior and correct inappropriate behavior. Remaining consistent means we care enough to bring out the very best in our children. We nurture and reveal their “natural bent,” their God-given strengths, abilities, and personality. As we remain consistent in teaching and shaping their godly character, they come to know us as steady. They also learn that their misbehavior does not overwhelm us. We, as parents, remain patient, loving, and strong in the face of their misbehavior, guiding them toward a lifestyle that will bring greater happiness and fulfillment. This knowledge helps them grow secure in our love and affection, even in the midst of misbehavior and loving discipline.    
 
     4.      Build routines into your family life. Routines build a level of predictability into family life that provides a sense of security and stability for our children. It allows our children to anticipate “what comes next” and to relax in the knowledge that certain things happen on a regular basis. They come to know that Mom and Dad may leave for work or the store, but they always return. They look forward to regular family mealtimes and the interactions that accompany those meals. They grow in the stability of a regular bedtime and the benefits of rest. As families practice morning routines, mealtime routines, bedtime routines, and various family traditions, children develop an identity and stability that promotes security.   
 
     5.      Pour on the affection. Let your children know you love and value them. Show your affection with a hug, a good night kiss, a high five, a squeeze of the shoulders. Pour on affectionate words of admiration and love by saying, “I love you” before bed or as you leave the house for work. Satisfy their need for affection by remaining true to your word and keeping your promises. Spice up the flavor of affection with unconditional acceptance…even when your children are moody, grumpy, or irritable.
 
     6.      Finally, give your children your time. Adding in the ingredients described above will demand your time. Give it freely. Children determine what is most valuable in your life by watching where you invest your time. Let them see you investing your time in your family and, specifically, in their lives.
 
6 ingredients that, when mixed together, will satisfy your child’s hunger for security—the meat and potatoes of security. Perhaps you can add in some dessert. Enjoy!
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Slaying the Monsters in Your Child’s Life

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Every day our children battle dragons and other mythical monsters. Boggarts, shape-shifters that assume the form of a child’s greatest fears and insecurities, dance in your children’s minds. They tower over your children, taking the form of personal failure, overwhelming schedules, rejecting peers, family instability, financial woes, or even death of a friend. Boggarts appear larger than life. They leave a child feeling inadequate and unable to deal with the towering fear that has taken shape in his or her mind.
 
Your child may also battle the giant bully monster. This giant monster towers over a child with bulging muscles, red anger-filled eyes, a forked tongue of ridicule and threats, and fists that can pulverize your child’s personal strength. Your child may encounter the giant bully monster in the community, in school, or on-line. This monster threatens your child’s confidence and can send them reeling into the legendary pit of emotional darkness, depression, and despair.
 
The most frightening monster of all may live right in your own home. That’s right…the two-headed-fighting-parents-monster can appear right in your living room and wreak havoc in your family’s castle. Although connected to the same body, the two heads of this monster agree on nothing. They constantly fight, call one another names, and verbally abuse each other. Because this monster resides in the home, it creates an atmosphere of insecurity for your child. As long as the two heads continue to yell, scream, and argue, your child will never feel safe. In addition, their loyalty to both heads will tear them apart, potentially leaving their heart torn to shreds.
 
Parents can help children slay these monsters. They serve as the protector and provider, the knight in shining armor rescuing their children from these monsters…even as they attack. How do we slay the monsters in our children’s lives? Here are three strategies that other parent-knights have found effective.
     ·         Remain present in your children’s lives. Stand with them…be physically, verbally, and emotionally present in their lives. Let them see you in the community, in the school, and in the home. Make your presence known to them in their technology. Text them. Email them. Call them. Friend them on Facebook. Establish a precedent from the very beginning that you, as a parent, have access to their Facebook, phone, and any other technological device so you can monitor what happens there. Assure them that you monitor these devices for their protection. Even offer examples of people who have encountered the giant bully monster and boggarts on-line. You are there to protect them from those monsters, even on-line. Let your children know they do not have to face any monster in their life alone. You are always ready to help!
     ·         Tame the two-headed-fighting-parents monster. Work with your spouse (the other head) to resolve arguments as they arise. Let your children witness the resolution in your spoken apologies and affectionate interactions with one another. If your children witnessed the two-headed-fighting-parents monster at its worst, you might even explain to them how you resolved the argument and assure them that you love each other. Children grow best when they know their parents have a stable, loving relationship. Allow them to witness your love for one another in how you speak to, touch, and support one another. If you experience significant trouble taming the two-headed-fighting-parents monster, seek counseling. Don’t wait until both heads are beaten and abused. By that time, your child is feeling the devastation of the battle. Get help. Learn how to resolve your differences and tame the two-headed-fighting-parents monster.
     ·         Spend time talking with your children so you can learn about the boggarts they live with, the fears and insecurities that take shape in their mind. Be open to hear about these fears. Listen closely to understand the fear. Accept that this fear is a real concern for your child, not just some childish fantasy they’ll get over. Acknowledge the bravery they exhibit in facing their fears. Encourage them by helping them recall other times they have successfully overcome fears. And, problem-solve with them. This may include planning ahead, breaking the boggart into smaller parts and tackling one issue at a time, identifying more resources, or any number of other solutions. By listening, acknowledging, encouraging, and problem-solving, you teach your child the skills necessary to slay any boggarts that arise in their life.
 
As you help slay the monsters in your children’s lives, they will be able to rest and relax in your home. They will rest in the assurance that you, their protector and provider, have made their home a safe haven in which they can find peace.
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I Want My Children to Have It All

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“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.”
 
I want my children to have it all. That’s right, I want them to be lacking in nothing! Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not talking about them getting all the material possessions and privileges they think they deserve. No, that would just result in another spoiled and entitled person. We have enough of those in our society. Let me explain exactly what I mean when I say I want my children to lack nothing.
     ·         I want my children to lack nothing in basic care. I want them to have the security of a roof over the head, food to eat, and clothes to wear. Even more, I want them to have no lack of joy under our roof or around our dinner table. I have met people who grew up relatively poor but never knew it. Why? Because their parents always made sure basic needs were met without complaint. They sacrificed material luxuries in order to provide essential material needs while leaving time and energy for relational luxuries. I want my children to have all the wonderful memories associated with contentment at home that we can muster.
     ·         I want my children to lack nothing when it comes to my time. I want them to know that I value them enough to give them the generous gift of my time. I want them to lack no assurance that they have my ear when they need it. That I will take the time to listen when they talk, the time to celebrate when they succeed, the time to support when they struggle, and the time to comfort when they mourn. I want my children to lack nothing when it comes to my time.
     ·         I want my children to lack nothing in terms of the emotional comfort I can give them. I want them to rest assured that I always have a hug for them or an encouraging word to offer. I want them to know that they can always come to me and find a shoulder to cry on, a congratulatory slap on the back, or a comforting hug to hold them. I want my children to have absolute assurance that they lack nothing in regard to the emotional comfort available in our home.
     ·         I want my children to lack nothing in joy. I want them to remember a home filled with laughter and joy. I want them to look back on their days in our house and recall music, joking, and fun activities. I want my children to have all the wonderful memories of a home filled with laughter and joy that I can make possible. 
     ·         I want my children to lack nothing in the knowledge that they are loved and accepted. Even more, I want my children to know that I delight in them. I want them to see my eyes sparkle with excitement when they walk in the room. I want them to lack nothing in the realization that they are loved and accepted just as they are; to know that I delight in them beyond measure.
     ·         I want my children to lack nothing in their sense of security. I want them to see a marriage that is strong, stable, and committed for the long term. I want them to know they live under my watchful eye. I want them to have the assurance that even in my momentary anger and discipline, their safety and well-being remain uppermost in mind. They are as secure as possible under the watchful, loving eye of their parents. I want them to lack nothing in that sense of security.
 
I will falter in my attempts to give it all to my children. I will make mistakes. I will grow tired and miss the mark. It is in those moments that I want my children to recall that they lack nothing in regards to my love for them. I love them deeply and completely. And, that love will cover a multitude of mistakes.
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