Tag Archive for community
The 5-Fold Mission of Parents
· Identify those areas in your community that might poison your child. These areas appear safe enough to the innocent eyes of children…they may even appear inviting, appealing, or enticing. However, the experienced adult recognizes these attractive activities and influences as poisonous flowers that threaten our children’s mental, emotional, and physical health. Teach your children to look beyond the attractive flower to identify the deadly lies and influences they hide—the hidden agendas, the hurtful designs, the life-threatening lies. Teach them the truth to counteract the poison offered. Provide them with the unconditional love and solid acceptance at home that will empower them to turn away from these enticing poisons in the community.
· Identify the potential players in the neighborhood. Every neighborhood has those people who prey on the innocent and naïve. Teach your children how to protect themselves from these players. Teach them to travel with their allies, finding safety in numbers. Teach them to think before they act and to discern consequences before follow. Listen closely to your children. Lovingly problem-solve with them when they face difficult circumstances and people.
· Develop additional safety zones in your community and in your children’s life. Nurture relationships with adults who can provide positive influences. Take time to know your children’s friends and promote their growth in mature character. Support the efforts of other adults, parents, and groups in your community that want to raise a strong moral generation of young people.
· One more task in this mission…pray for your children. You cannot follow your children into every potentially dangerous situation or guide them through every experience they encounter in life. You would not even want to. They need time to learn on their own…to get lost and find their way out, to fail and recover, to slip and get back up. They need the opportunities to learn when to ask for help and the humbly experience of doing so. In the midst of all this, you can pray for your children. Ask God to protect them, guide them, nudge them when they stray, and quickly lift them up when they fall. Make them the subject of your prayers multiple times a day.
Parents, this is your mission should you choose to accept it. Your effort in this mission will impact the development of your child and ultimately influence your level of joy as a parent. This message will not self-destruct in 10 seconds, but continue on throughout the life of your children. Good luck, Parent…and God bless.
5 Tips for the Dirtiest Job of Parenting
2. Connect your children with other adults–youth leaders, teachers, mentors, or extended family. Step back and allow these adults to nurture your children’s talent in ways you never could. These adults will also be able to tell your children things that they will not hear from you. You will find your children coming home excited about something a teacher told them while you think, “I told you that 2 months ago.” Sometimes, parents become jealous of the influence other adults have with their children. After all, “I used to have that influence.” Remember, you still do have that influence. It may seem as though your children no longer listen to you, but they do. You will hear other adults talking about what your child said and you will recognize your words coming from your child’s mouth. So, rather than become jealous, be grateful that there are other positive influences in your child’s life. Take time to thank them personally.
3. Provide your children opportunities to expand their independence. Let them make choices. When they are young teens, let them participate in decision like which night will be family night and which night they can spend with friends. Let them choose whether to watch a movie with you or with friends. Encourage them to seek the advice of a mentor in addition to input from you. Allow them to take sponsored trips with trusted groups such as those at your church, school, scouting organization, etc. Encourage their involvement in positive activities outside of your presence. As they show wisdom and maturity in those decisions and actions, allow them more opportunities.
4. Allow your child to have time independent of family. This time will increase with age. A toddler needs constant supervision. However, as children mature, they make more independent decisions, engage in more peer related activities, and define their individual life more clearly. They will spend less time with family and more time in pursuit of their individual lives. A parent’s role changes from one of control to influence. In order to have influence, we must give up control.
5. Give up control and pick up trust. Trust the work you did as a parent. Trust that you have instilled positive values and decision-making skills in your child. Trust that they have experienced your love and will always feel safe to return to that love when they need to. Trust that God will bring people into their lives who will continue to provide a positive influence to them. Trust your children’s growing level of wisdom and maturity, nurtured by childhood years of loving discipline and instruction from you.
Slaying the Monsters in Your Child’s Life
Promoting Greatness in the Family
Freedom & Family
Family Relationship Training Program
For all my athletic friends…I invite you to join the “Relationship Training Program.” It may prove challenging at times, but the long-term benefits are astounding. This training program can culminate in the completion of the Iron Man of Marriage—a 50-year anniversary. I know people who continued training after the first Iron Man and completed a 70-year marathon of happy marriage, leaving a tremendous family heritage. Over the next several weeks, I’d like to share a daily exercise routine, a strength- and resistance-based workout, and a distance workout that can enhance your overall relationship goals, especially in regards to family. But first, let me make a few suggestions to promote your success in this challenge.
First, surround yourself with people invested in a “Relationship Training Program”—people who value family relationships and whose lifestyle promotes positive family relationships. Hanging out with people invested in family life will help you stay involved with your family as well.
Second, find a buddy with whom you can share your plans and goals for family. Having mutual accountability with a friend who has similar goals is a great way to stay honest and on track.
Third, set achievable, weekly goals. You might set a goal to thank you spouse for two things a day…or, a goal to complement each family member every day. Make a goal to sit down for a cup of coffee and conversation once a day for a week. Read a book together and talk about what you read. Whatever the goal, make it achievable.
Fourth, incorporate fun into your training routine. Many times people drop out of training because they don’t enjoy it. Look for activities that you enjoy when involved in the “Relationship Training Program.” If you don’t enjoy going for walks together, try going to a movie. Sign up for a dance class together or have a game night. You might enjoy having breakfast together instead of dinner. The options for family fun are limitless. Be creative. Find the family activities you enjoy. The more fun you have, the more likely you will continue the training program.
Fifth, make the “Relationship Training Program” part of your daily routine. Think of ways to fit the exercises incorporated into the “Relationship Training Program” into what you already do. When you talk, offer a compliment. When you meet one another, share a hug and kiss. When you go to bed, share a word of thanks. You will find a million ways to fit various exercises into your daily life.
Finally, make family a priority. You have to make your goal of a more intimate family a priority or you will never achieve it. The hustle and bustle of life will simply interfere. We all make time for those activities we prioritize. Prioritize your spouse and your children. Prioritize your family.
One other thing, before you begin this training program check with your physician to assure your heart is strong enough to engage in these activities. JUST JOKING!! Just enjoy the program and the benefits of fit and healthy family relationships.