I hate driving during the Christmas season. Traffic is terrible. Drivers seem 
more erratic, less patient, more rude, and in a rush. Every time I leave my house I end up in gridlock. If there is one thing that triggers my impatience (and there is at least one thing), it is traffic. Especially when I’m trying to enjoy the Christmas spirit and all I do is inch through gridlock. I’m afraid I may end up acting like one of those crazy “erratic, less than patient, in a rush” drivers I mentioned earlier.
more erratic, less patient, more rude, and in a rush. Every time I leave my house I end up in gridlock. If there is one thing that triggers my impatience (and there is at least one thing), it is traffic. Especially when I’m trying to enjoy the Christmas spirit and all I do is inch through gridlock. I’m afraid I may end up acting like one of those crazy “erratic, less than patient, in a rush” drivers I mentioned earlier. The other day, as I moved at an unbearable snail’s pace through the shopping wonderland of Christmas, I began to think about Mary and Joseph arriving in Bethlehem and inching their way through gridlock in search of a room. The town was crowded, filled to the brim with out-of-towners who had come in for the census. Maybe all kinds of “reunions” and class parties were going on…I don’t know. I do know that Mary was pregnant and ready to give birth to Jesus, her first born son. The town was so crowded that Mary and Joseph couldn’t even find a place to stay. Even a woman in the throes of childbirth could not find a room. Finally, someone gave them permission to stay in a stable. Fighting their way through an impatient crowd, Mary and Joseph entered the stable to find it crowded with animals that belonged to the visitors and guests. Listening to the serenade of noisy animals, the couple quickly set up their home away from home…and soon delivered a Baby. Jesus was born in that crowded stable and laid in a feeding trough, the closest thing to a crib that Joseph could find. Surrounded by the noise of a crowded city outside and the braying animals inside, Mary and Joseph gazed for the first time into the eyes of their newborn 
Son. That peaceful gaze did not last long. Shepherds, pushing through the Bethlehem gridlock, burst into the stable to see the Baby. They spoke of angelic visions and told of a huge angel choir that sang “glory to God in the highest and peace on earth, good will to men.” They rambled on with such unbridled enthusiasm that it bordered on hysteria.
Son. That peaceful gaze did not last long. Shepherds, pushing through the Bethlehem gridlock, burst into the stable to see the Baby. They spoke of angelic visions and told of a huge angel choir that sang “glory to God in the highest and peace on earth, good will to men.” They rambled on with such unbridled enthusiasm that it bordered on hysteria. In the midst of all this noise and rush, Mary marveled…she “treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart.” As crowds fought for space in the city, and animals mooed and brayed all around, Mary treasured the events. In the middle of that first Christmas gridlock, Mary pondered. Perhaps we need to follow her example by taking time to ponder, even in the midst of our holiday rush…especially in the midst of our holiday rush. Our whole family will witness our pondering and follow our lead. They will ponder with us. Together, our families can ponder the treasure residing in our hearts because of the gift we received on that first Christmas—that gift is our newborn Baby Jesus, Emmanuel, God with us! “For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given…” In the midst of our pondering, our family will experience the quiet peace of Christmas. Our family will discover the joy found only in the treasure of that little Baby laid in the manger of our noisy hearts. Won’t you join me as we “treasure all these things and ponder them in our hearts?” Have a Peaceful Christmas of pondering.
Simply write them a short letter (about 1 page) that identifies three traits you admire in them. For each trait, give an example from the last year that exemplifies that trait. Finish with a statement of your love. 
children with character, children who feel competent. Have you ever thought about what goes in to getting someone a really good gift? First, we have to think like they do: What kind of gift would they like? What gift would bring them joy? To answer these questions, we have to step into the other person’s shoes, see their life through their eyes, and accept their view of the world. In other words, we have to have empathy with the other person…a good character trait to develop. Second, we have to have a desire to be generous or gracious toward the other person. We have to desire to give them a gift with no strings attached and no expectation of repayment…otherwise it just isn’t a gift. Christmas shopping offers a great opportunity to teach our children about generosity and grace, especially the grace of God in giving us His Son to pay the price for our sin. That sets a pretty high bar on generosity, doesn’t it? Third (and on a much less taxing level perhaps), we have to use good math skills. We want to show generosity and grace, but we do not want to go bankrupt. We want to wisely balance our generosity with our actual ability. Math skills become important for wisely showing grace while remaining in our budget. Overall, Christmas shopping offers a great opportunity to raise children competent in perspective taking and empathy, budgeting skills, and generosity. What can you do to help this process? I’m glad you asked….Here are a two specific ways you can use shopping to build competence in your children:
about a particular gift. Have they heard Mommy talk about wanting that? Do they notice Daddy using something similar or wearing something similar? What lead them to think their friend might like this particular gift. Not only do you learn about your children’s thought patterns, you also help them learn perspective taking through this conversation. 
c attitudes reduce happiness in marriage. With a plethora of advertisers spouting the “one with the most toys wins,” this study suggests the opposite. The researchers looked at over 1,700 couples and discovered that a focus on getting or spending money was associated with lower levels of responsiveness between spouses, less emotional maturity, more ineffective communication, higher levels of conflict, lower relationship satisfaction, and less marital stability. Perhaps, this focus on “material things” resulted in over-working in an effort to gain the “needed money;” and overworking led to less time with family and less opportunity to develop family relationships. Perhaps the focus on material things stemmed from a self-focus instead of a relational focus. Either way, a focus on monetary gain did not promote happiness and it interfered with family intimacy. This study brings to mind the wisdom of one ancient author who wrote, “The love of money is the root of all evil.” 
advertisements cater to our materialistic desires. Get her a diamond. Buy him a car. Satisfy your child’s need with an Ipad (by the way, how young is too young for an Ipad?). Buy this or buy that to find happiness. The 
help “taking the garbage out,” no questions asked. I really appreciated that gift. It was thoughtful and loving, gracious…and useful. My mind wandered from there to the wise men giving three gifts to baby Jesus. I guess that’s more of a time warp than a wandering, but…. Anyway, recalling these two stories gave me an idea for this year. I want to give my daughters a gift they will remember, one that “keeps on giving throughout the year.” And, I always wanted to play a wise man. So, just like the wise men I’ve come up with three gifts: the gift of time, the gift of attention, and the gift of encouragement. You might be saying, “Nice gifts, but how will I wrap those up and put them under the Christmas tree?” Good question; and, I do have a few ideas to share with you. First though, let me tell you why those 3 gifts are great gifts: thoughtful and loving, gracious…and useful. 
want them to know I value them. The best way to communicate that value is by spending time with them. So, I give the gift of T-I-M-E.
request “no questions asked.” You can encourage your child by modeling a “servant’s heart” as you complete one of their chores once a month at their request. 
and an angel or two all look adoringly toward the baby Jesus in a manger. Of course, we also have a few barn animals milling about. In the midst of the hustle and bustle of Christmas, this simple scene reminds us of the Christmas story, taking us back to the first Christmas day when Christ was born in Bethlehem. One of the things I like most about the manger scene is that a family sits at the center of it all. Of course, the baby Jesus is the ultimate center, but even He is surrounded by His earthly family. The whole world—from the wealthy wise men and the poor shepherds to the heavenly angels–drew near to admire a baby surrounded by family. Amazingly, they all drew near to admire a baby in the midst of a town so crowded and chaotic that the only place for a pregnant woman to deliver her baby was in a barn. Can you imagine the crowd that must have filled Bethlehem, the greed that turned a woman-in-labor away from a warm bed and clean dwelling? Yet in the midst of that rushing crowd, the greedy market, and the tired travelers, a family drew near to one another, cared for one another, and loved one another…extravagantly. That’s the first lesson I learn about family from the manger scene: make time for family. Put aside all the trappings of Christmas–the excessive material gifts, the unrestrained shopping, the Griswold-style decorations, the greedy desires, and the bigger than life Christmas tree–and make time to share with your family, time to build one another up and time to love one another extravagantly…just as God loved us by sending Emmanuel to earth. 
memories. In the midst of the shepherds, wise men, and animals, usually kneeling next to Joseph and gazing at the baby Jesus, we find Mary. Mary does something that I believe so crucial to the Christmas season: she “treasures all these things and ponders them.” As angels sing in the heavens, shepherds rush through town to find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes, strangers fight for hotel rooms and their place in line, and parents grumble about spending the night in the crowded town of Bethlehem, Mary quietly treasured her newborn baby. She listened to the shepherd’s story and the angel’s prophecies about her child and “pondered them in her heart.” She took time to “treasure” and “ponder” her family, to cherish her family and keep them in her heart and mind. Christmas is a time to slow down and treasure your family, ponder your family memories. 
love and we give them the benefit of the doubt. In the midst of the rush of Christmas, give family members the benefit of the doubt. When someone blows up in frustration or says something with a sharp edge, give the benefit of the doubt…think the best of them.
? No, that leads to competition (“He got more than me!”), entitlement (“I should have gotten that. I’m more…”), or even disappointment (“I didn’t get everything I wanted.” “This was the wrong one.”). Even the Grinch “puzzled ’til his puzzler was sore:” “What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more” (Dr. Seuss). 
Ebenezer Scrooge: “What’s Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer.” Check out this video by 
our sense of family and stability to our children. 
