Shhh…I’m walking home with Junior Scrooge and trying to convince him to come by my house to help decorate our Christmas tree. Just as expected, he’s a real killjoy when it comes to Christmas. Here I go…be real quiet and listen in.

Yes, you may walk with me, but keep up. No dilly dallying, I’m a busy man…business to conduct. What’s that you say? What Christmas traditions do I celebrate? You’re one of those Christmas lovers, eh? In the infamous words of Ebenezer Scrooge, “Bah humbug!” What good are Christmas traditions anyway? It’s all just a waste of time. Sure, Christmas celebrates the birth of Christ, but who needs the hoopla? Just a distressing waste of time and money. I really don’t have the time for the frivolous run around and hypocritical commercial onslaught of Christmas. 

What are you pointing at? That family? I see them…laughing and singing while they decorate their tree. Probably can’t afford the time or money they are wasting though. Sure, they look like they’re celebrating and having fun. They all look happy and full of life…smiling, hugging. Such displays of affection. I don’t need that kind of embarrassing dribble in my life. They need a lesson on the hard realities of life and work. They do seem to enjoy their family though…and share a real closeness. That’s fine for them. They probably think family important. But I have no family. Ah, who needs it? I’m perfectly fine on my own.

Which family are you pointing at? Oh yes, the one singing carols and giving gifts to the needy. Soft-hearted saps. I suppose you’re going to tell me this tradition helps them “practice what they preach.” Well, our world would do well if a few families pass that value on to the next generation. Maybe we’d have a whole generation of families practicing kindness and generosity. Ah, I show my kindness by letting people pull themselves up by their bootstraps, show some initiative, get out there and hustle! Kind of funny–they really do seem happy reaching out to others, sharing this tradition of music. I remember the fun I had as a lad going caroling. Ah, child’s play. Let’s get on here. I have to get home.

Alright, I see that family, too. You really are persistent, aren’t you? I know they make cookies every year. Every year I have to eat a dozen of those cookies…quite tasty, I might add. They can keep making cookies and doing all the other things they do every year for all I care. It keeps those kids secure in their family’s care and out of my hair. See that little one there? Last time she brought me cookies, she practically burst with excitement talking about how much she enjoyed making cookies to give away. Why, I think she is so excited to do things with her family that she plans her schedule so she doesn’t miss it. Good for her…

I didn’t realize you planned to harass me about Christmas traditions the whole way to my house. You must enjoy some traditions. Go on home and enjoy them yourself. I’m sure you have a family…and all the time in the world to waste on those silly activities. I don’t have that kind of time. I don’t have time to slow down and enjoy some silly tradition. I’m too busy. Too much to get done.

So, this is my place. Thanks for the constant barrage of “Christmas hope.” I know my house is dark…I live alone. What am I doing tonight? Well, eating supper, watching TV and going to bed. Oh, you’re decorating your tree? Well, have fun getting your finger pricked on pine needles and sweeping them up after Christmas. Would I like to join you? I suppose you will all sing and laugh while you decorate? Yes? And, probably talk about all the memories that come up around the ornaments? Will everyone be there? Even your lovely son and daughter? They do love to laugh. If I were to come, might we share some cookies? Yes? Well, I suppose I could spare an evening. I would love to come over. Thank you for asking. 

What do you mean “Bah humbug?” Who said that? I would never say such a thing…I love Christmas traditions.