Family by God&#039;s Design

Marital Advice from “Captain Obvious”

It may seem obvious, but simply understanding your partner’s needs, desires, and struggles does not build intimacy. To build intimacy requires you understand AND care! A compassionate response flows from caring and must accompany understanding to build a healthy marriage. Rhett Butler’s statement to Scarlet O’Hara, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” marked...

Grace Honor

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February 27, 2016

My Teen Hates Me!

Do you ever get the feeling your teen hates you…that they don’t want you around? You know the scenario: teens don’t smile or interact at home but as soon as they see friends they perk up, smile, and interact with great energy. Or, teens, embarrassed by their parent’s simple remark, roll their eyes and say,...

adolescence connection emotional health parent child relationship parenting teen

February 15, 2016

The Emotional Spark of Your Adolescent’s ESSENCE

Daniel Siegel suggests the ESSENCE of adolescence involves an Emotional Spark (the ES in ESSENCE—for an overview of the ESSENCE read The ESSENCE of Adolescence). Teens experience intense emotions sparked by changes occurring in their bodies and their lives. For instance, teens experience changes in their family role and responsibilities. They also begin to face...

Family Shepherds Honor

adolescence emotional health parent child relationship parenting teen

November 28, 2015

The Power of “The Dad Joke”

My daughters have accused me of telling “Dad jokes.” I don’t know what they’re talking about. Even some of their friends have accused me of telling dad jokes. I asked for clarification of the “Dad joke” and knew their answer could not describe my jokes…”lame,” “silly,” “sarcastic,” “uncool.” Well, maybe I do that once in...

Celebration Family Shepherds

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November 14, 2015

Parents, Do You Feed Your Insecurity or Your Confidence?

Raising a child is a demanding and difficult task. It raises our anxiety and brings out our greatest insecurities. I don’t know about you, but I have enough personal insecurity without bringing my parenting into the mix! Even worse, the more insecure we feel about our parenting, the less effective we are as parents. Effective...

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October 26, 2015

A Green-Eyed Monster has Possessed My Preschooler

The green-eyed monster of jealousy can raise its ugly head in all of us. Who hasn’t felt a tinge of jealousy when our loved one gives the attention we desire to another? That green-eyed monster can even possess our sweet little preschoolers, twisting their faces with pain and filling their actions with anger. It’s not...

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August 17, 2015

Does Your Child Get a Choice or a Voice?

H.G. Ginott made an important distinction between a child’s voice and a child’s choice in his book Between Parent and Child. Children need to have choices. Giving our children choices builds their sense of responsibility. It helps them learn that choices have consequences; so they learn to choose wisely. Choices allow our children to become...

discipline emotional health healthy development maturity parent child relationship parenting

July 25, 2015

Hard Words for a Strong Family Bond

Some things are difficult to say. They leave us vulnerable and at the mercy of the other person. These same phrases, however, are often the statements most necessary to preserve and strengthen our relationships with our spouses, children, and parents. These difficult statements are actually treasures of the heart that we protect with great caution....

Grace Honor

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July 18, 2015

6 Tips to Make Your Children’s Emotions Your Friend

I often meet children described as having “anger management problems.” They blow up in anger, yell, and scream. They may even get physically aggressive. As I talk with them and their family, I discover these children often have little or no language for emotional expression. As a result, they have no delay, no buffer, between...