Children are not born with the ability to see the world through another person’s eyes. They have to learn to take another person’s perspective. If they do not learn this, they grow intolerant, self-centered, and uncaring. How can a parent help their children develop the ability to see various situations from another person’s perspective? Here are 4 suggestions:- Model perspective taking in your life. Begin by modeling perspective taking in your relationship with your child. Take the time to see things from your child’s perspective. Allow your child to explain his point of view and then accept that point of view. His point of view may sound magical or immature–after all, he is a child. You may even disagree with his perspective, but accept it before you discuss it. As your child matures, use everyday situations to point out other people’s perspectives. For instance, discuss how friends might perceive something your child said or did, how teachers might perceive various students’ behavior, or how siblings might view an event differently than he does. Let your child explore and express various ideas without judgment, especially in his teen years. Definitely add your ideas into the mix and express your perspective, but do so without judging the ideas and values that he expresses.
- Explore the perspective of fictional characters. Start reading stories with your children when they are young. As they mature, discuss stories that you both read. In particular, discuss the characters in the story and their perspective of the situations they encounter. Explore how the story characters might feel, what circumstances and thoughts contribute to those feelings, and what resources the characters might use to deal with those feelings. Help your child develop an understanding of how that character’s perspective contributes to their actions and emotions. You can do this with movie characters as well. Engaging in these talks allows your child to begin to explore the perspective of another person, even if it is a fictional story character.
- Have some fun with perspective taking. I often play a game of “Happy, Mad, & Sad” with children at work. It is like “Paper, Scissors, & Rock;” but, instead of using hand signals, we make a happy face, a mad face, or a sad face. I score by saying happy beats sad, sad beats mad, and mad beats
happy. It does not really matter which emotion beats the others, only that you get to practice seeing the expression on one another’s face—an important skill for perspective taking. You can also enjoy some people watching in a mall or park. Observe people walking by and quietly make up little stories about the character’s life and emotions. Fill the story with supporting observations. For instance, “those two just met in the ice cream shop because they still have their cones. They are walking in step with one another and smiling when they look at one another, so they have fallen deeply in love”…or “they walk in step with one another because they are both marching band members and can no longer walk out of sync…” Play a game while driving in which you name as many reasons as possible for why a car sped by or why another driver cut you off in traffic. Make note that each reason is merely a guess and an assumption, but represents a possible perspective of the other person. And, the perspective we focus on can lead to our becoming angry (“that jerk did that on purpose”), compassionate (“I hope they are not running to an emergency”), or cautious (“did they just fall asleep and drift into my lane?”). Remember, there is often more than one possible reason for a person’s behavior, more than one possible perspective. Encourage your child to consider those perspectives, even if they do not agree with them. - Finally, as your child experiences various circumstances in life, talk to him about the perspective of others in that situation as well. When you witness a commotion in a restaurant, help them observe not just the commotion but how those around the commotion respond. After watching a close football game, observe the winning team’s demeanor and the losing team’s demeanor. Watch the interviews with both teams and talk about each person’s response. When your child has a fight with a sibling, help him observe the impact on his siblings and you.
That is just 4 ideas to help teach your child perspective taking. You can practice each idea in your daily life, without even looking like you are teaching anything! By helping your child grow in their ability to take another person’s perspective, they will grow more understanding, accepting, and considerate. They will show more empathy and compassion toward those around them. They will mature, growing into adults with a strong character!
spiritual decay. Not the best choice. 
family. It’s true; men do strive to become godly spiritual leaders in the family. But, what does that mean? Does it simply mean reading the Bible with our spouse and children? Perhaps even expounding on the Scripture? Does it mean assuring that each family member spends time in pray and making time to pray together as a couple or family? Is it the spiritual leader’s responsibility to make sure the family goes to worship services and Bible studies? We like to use these activities as markers of our spiritual leadership because we can more easily measure our productivity. Statements like, “I prayed with my wife…” or “When I led my children in Bible study…” become indicators of our effectiveness as a spiritual leader. However, the mark of a great spiritual leader is much less visible than any of these behaviors imply. In fact, these visible markers tell us very little about the more subtle, and perhaps more important, actions of a spiritual leader. Consider these 4 foundational behaviors of strong spiritual leadership. 
that may lead into deeper discussions. Make it part of your everyday conversation. 
constructive criticism actually enhances the power of praise. Constructive criticism lets a child know that your praise is more than mere words. You really did pay attention. You noticed the specific things they did well. And, by offering an occasional constructive criticism, you communicate your belief that they have the ability to do better. Do not overdo this part of praise. However, do not avoid discussing mistakes either. I think a good ratio would be to offer at least 5 sincere, specific praises for every 1 constructive criticism. If you cannot offer 5 sincere, specific praises, you need to work harder at praise. You are not looking hard enough at your child’s effort or the specific steps your child has done well.
ositive results from negative life choices. We can’t earn a raise by sleeping in and skipping work…or an “A” by not doing homework. We reap what we sow. You know it and I know it, but how do we teach our children this principle? How do we instill in them the wisdom to make responsible choices? Before I answer that question, let me tell you two things not to do!
behavior our child has engaged in over the last month. And, our child shuts down, blankly staring at us as we explode in a verbal tirade. Their blank look only irritates us more and we continue the rant. Unfortunately, our child learns nothing except how to make us “lose it.” He does not think about his behavior or the consequences of his behavior. Instead, he complains about us “always yelling” at him. He simply quits listening. When all is said and done, he does not learn the consequence of his behavior. Instead, he focuses on our behavior and walks away talking about his “crazy” parent. We have suffered more as a result of his behavior than he has. And, once again, we have robbed him of the opportunity to learn from the consequences of his mistakes. 
made several deposits into our “Family Bank of Honor.” Everything just seemed to flow smoothly…very smoothly. I complimented my wife’s new shirt and told her how nice she looked…two deposits into the “Family Bank of Honor.” During a commercial, I got myself a drink and grabbed one up for my wife as well…deposit number two. I asked my daughter, very politely I might add, if she could start the dishwasher…deposit number three for politeness. And, my daughter started the dishwasher without complaining…deposit numbers four and five. You get the idea. We talked and joked around. We spoke politely, did considerate things for one another, and enjoyed physical closeness. Even bedtime was marked by loving “goodnights” and hugs…deposit, deposit, deposit. Overall, we had a great family evening filled with loving, honoring deposits into our “Family Bank of Honor.” By time we finally went to bed, I bet we had accrued over 50 deposits into the “Family Honor Account.” I fell asleep feeling good, even a little cocky, about the honor we had accrued in the “Family Bank of Honor.” What a family man, Mr. Honor himself, a loving husband and father, who has instilled an ongoing culture of honor into his family.
Withdrawal again…at least ten since I gave them “the look,” a harsh tone, and an unwarranted demand. That’s a total of 19 withdrawals and I hadn’t even finished breakfast. I eventually left for my morning activities, spent some time alone, and came home in a better mood; but not before making significant withdrawals from the “Family Bank of Honor.” It seems that the deposits of yesterday barely covered the withdrawals of today. 
worked with a young man whose father left him and his mother when he was an infant. Last he heard, his father was in another state engaging in “less than legal activity.” He was angry with his father. He was embarrassed to carry his father’s name. We spent a great deal of time talking about how he could “redeem the name” for his future family and children. In the meantime, when teachers said, “Oh you’re so-and-so’s son,” he knew he had to work to change their impression of him. He had to fight against a name that carried negative connotations and brought him shame and embarrassment.