Take a moment and think back to the time when you were engaged and preparing for marriage. What were your dreams about marriage? How did you envision the daily life of marriage? What values and priorities did you want to live out in your marriage?

Take another moment. Consider the time when you were anticipating the birth of your first child. Once again, what dreams did you hold for parenthood and family? How did you envision the daily life of your family with children? What values and priorities did you want your family to exhibit?

I’m sure some of your dreams and expectations were unrealistic. I know some of mine were. However, many were very sincere and realistic. Even more, the values and priorities we had envisioned were likely important facets of our identity.

Here’s the most important question I want you to consider: Amidst the busy-ness and rush of life, have you drifted from those true values and priorities, the realistic dreams and expectations for your family life, that you identified above?  It’s easy to lose sight of what’s really important to us as we go through the busy-ness of life, like work, chores, activities, school, parenting, practicing our faith, and the myriad other tasks that infringe upon our time. Add to that the times we end up scrolling through social media when we only planned on looking at one thing and you can see how easy it is to drift from our true values, priorities, and dreams.

I want to invite you to engage in this simple exercise. Sit down with your spouse and talk about the values and priorities you had and still have for your marriage and family. After you have identified your values, priorities, and dreams, answer these 3 questions.

• Which values and priorities have you effectively implemented into your family life? I’m sure you have implemented several of your most basic values and priorities into your family life. Identify those values and priorities and savor ways in which you effectively practice them in your family. Congratulate yourself on a job well done.
• Which priorities and values have you drifted from in the rush of life? We have all drifted at times from some of our priorities, values, and dreams. Life seems to overwhelm at times, and we drift without even knowing it. Take an honest look and acknowledge those priorities and values you have drifted from but would still like to see as part of your family life.
• How might you simplify your daily life to bring those priorities and values back into your family life? Many times, those priorities and values get lost in the busy-ness and clutter of life. We often need to simplify our lives to bring them back. You can simplify by decluttering your space and your time. Donate some material “stuff” to clear your space. Decide which activities are most important and what makes them important. How do they fit into your priorities and values? You may find that disengaging from some activities will declutter your time and allow you to engage more effectively in activities that match your values and priorities.

It may sound scary to divest from stuff and activities. You may fear “missing out.” However, many families find a new sense of freedom and a reduction in stress when they do this. They find their children behave better. They also discover their children have more mental space for maturing and everyone has more mental space for relationships and growth. Give it a try. You might find yourself feeling better than you imagine.