I remember giving my children baths when they were infants. They loved to play with the bubbles and the little toys we put in the tub. Sometimes, we would come 
home from a hard day of play and they would be so filthy a bath just wouldn’t cut it. You know the days: days when you and your children come home covered with sweat, dust, and even mud. I recall having my daughter in a child-seat on the back of my bicycle while we rode through mud puddles…laughing as mud splashed up all over us. We had a great time, but left for home covered in mud. When we got home, we did not just plop her in clean bath water. First, we rinsed all the mud off. Then we rinsed the mud out of the tub. Only after completing both of those tasks did we fill the tub up with fresh water and allow her to bath. After all, who would wash their child in a muddy tub?
home from a hard day of play and they would be so filthy a bath just wouldn’t cut it. You know the days: days when you and your children come home covered with sweat, dust, and even mud. I recall having my daughter in a child-seat on the back of my bicycle while we rode through mud puddles…laughing as mud splashed up all over us. We had a great time, but left for home covered in mud. When we got home, we did not just plop her in clean bath water. First, we rinsed all the mud off. Then we rinsed the mud out of the tub. Only after completing both of those tasks did we fill the tub up with fresh water and allow her to bath. After all, who would wash their child in a muddy tub? Even though we would never bathe our children in a mud puddle or a tub filled with mud, we sometimes shower our family with muddy, offensive words. Every day we bathe our children and our spouse in our spoken word. Each time we shower them with words, we pour patterns of thought into their lives that shapes how they see themselves, their family, and even the world around them. Words, like water, can gently wash away the hurt, pain, and shame of mistakes, misunderstanding, and even sin. On the other hand, words have the power to erode a person’s self-confidence and drown them in shame, disgrace, anger, and fear. So, in what kind of words do you bathe your family?
· Do you bathe your family in 
sensitive words of love and affection? Or, do you shower them with insensitive words and rationalize it because of your anger?
sensitive words of love and affection? Or, do you shower them with insensitive words and rationalize it because of your anger?· Do you shower your family with words of gratitude and respect? Or, do you flood them with disrespect and criticism?
· Do you bathe your family in words of encouragement and appreciation? Or, do you send torrents of crass, demeaning words through your home?
· Do you bathe your family in loving words of accountability? Or, do you sprinkle derogatory, shame inducing words on family members who misbehave?
· Do you take your family to movies or places where words of purity, integrity, and value wash over their minds and hearts? Or, do you take your family to places where they find themselves submerged in words of animosity, selfishness, and impurity?
Paul, writing to the Ephesians, suggested that husbands be like Christ, who washed and cleansed His Bride in water by His word. Christ cleanses us with His word. Will we do the same? We can change our family for better or worse with the words we allow to wash over them, whether those words come from us or the environments to which we take them. Cleansing our family with loving, affectionate, and sensitive words can revolutionize a family… not just for today but for generations to come!
knows that helping children grow is anything but simple! Here are four steps that just might ease the way a little. At the very least, these four steps for helping change behavior will provide a guideline to keep parents on the path toward growing healthy, mature children. The first step involves increasing your children’s awareness of the problem and how it affects them. They will not gain that awareness if we, as parents, continue to bail them out of the problem or minimize the consequences of the problem behavior. As long as parents bail them out of every problem or minimize the consequences of the behavior, children never realize that the problem actually affects them. Let the natural consequences of behavior fall where they may. Let the children endure some of the discomfort and pain that naturally results from problem behavior. 
Map out the logical consequences of each alternative behavior step by step, so your children will understand the benefits of the new behavior. Your children may have to learn skills, avoid certain places, make new friends, build up the courage to talk with an adult, etc. These steps take energy and time. As you review these steps with your child, compare the costs in time and energy to the benefits gained over time. Make sure your children recognize and believe that the alternatives behaviors are worth the effort. If they do not, recall the negative results of the problem behavior and continue to explore alternative behaviors until you agree upon one in which the benefits outweigh the costs. Also, discuss how you, as a parent, can support your children in making the change. Once you have an agreed upon alternative, make a commitment to change. 
shepherds, we have to watch them and protect them while encouraging appropriate exploration. That demands that we accept their curiosity and their immaturity as natural. We need not yell and scream at them for immaturity. No, immaturity calls us to teach them. Their immaturity invites us to be present with them in their curiosity, invest our time in their exploration, and share in the excitement of their discovery. By remaining present with them in their curiosity, we can address any concerns that might arise. When they become disruptive, our presence will teach them how to explore in a more appropriate manner. Investing our time in their exploration allows us to help channel that exploration in appropriate venues. We can teach them that the library is not the place to explore sound, but the music room is…late at night is not the best time to practice rock riffs on the electric guitar, but early evening is…the house is not the best place to explore the properties of flying water, but the yard is. By sharing in their excitement we teach them that exploration is valuable, learning is fun, and discovery is good. A parent who shares in the excitement of their child’s discovery will find ways to promote exploration and curiosity rather than saying “don’t touch,” “don’t climb,” “don’t take that apart,” “don’t get dirty.” That may mean setting some boundaries around the curiosity. For instance, letting your child know that playing in the mud may be fun, but they have to change clothes before stomping through the living room…playing with the condensation on the window is interesting, but they will need to help clean the fingerprints off the window when all is said and done. And, while they help you clean up, you have the opportunity to talk about the exciting discoveries made during play.
t in your young son’s eyes because he was passed over on the sports team; seeing a spouse drown their deep sorrow in one too many drinks; watching a child who has experienced being bullied fall into the “wrong crowd.” When we encounter these painful experiences in ourselves and our family, our heart goes out to the person suffering; we feel compassion for them. We want to reach into their lives and end the suffering, to make the pain “go away.” It would be nice, we think, to make it all disappear with the wave of our magic wand…but there is no magic wand. Still…
o in order to allow his son to know the full consequences of his behavior. He wanted those consequences to bring his son to his senses and turn his heart toward home. He knew that self-induced suffering must be endured; and, when allowed, this suffering often brings maturity. I’m sure that the father “suffered long” with his son and felt a deep compassion in his heart for his son. I’m sure the father longed to reach out to his son and relieve the suffering; but instead, he suffered the pain of watching his son go through the hardships of his choices. Whose sufferings were greater? I’m not sure…perhaps the father’s. Fortunately, in this story, the father’s longsuffering paid off in the end. The son did learn from those consequences. The son did mature and turn his heart toward home. And, as soon as the son turned his heart toward home, the father ran to meet him…embraced him, kissed him, reinstated him into the family, and held a welcome home party. 
urpose. If a chunk of coal remains buried under 435,113 pounds of pressure per square inch and remains at temperatures of about 752 degrees Fahrenheit, its carbon composition purifies and its structure modifies to form a different kind of carbon. After this purer form of carbon is mined, a jeweler places it in quick drying cement and cuts a groove in it. He inserts a steel blade into that groove and hits it to cut the carbon into pieces. The jeweler then removes the cut pieces of carbon from the cement and places them in a lathe. Working with another piece of diamond as a cutting tool, the jeweler cuts the pieces into the more familiar shape of a diamond (
diamonds with more respect and care. We honor our fiancés with diamond rings rather than bags of coal. We honor diamonds by treating them with care and respect while we throw coal in the furnace for our own comfort. We honor diamonds by giving them value and treating them as precious while we toss coal aside to trample under foot or on the fire to warm up a burger. We have basically set diamonds apart from coal, stating that diamonds are of much greater value.
help with a problem, she would respond the same way…with a lecture. Joe always responded the same way, too. As soon as she pointed her finger in his direction and said, “Joseph, you know…,” he tuned out. His eyes glazed over and he stared into space with a blank expression on his face. I know Joe’s mother had good intentions. She wanted Joe to learn from his mistakes. She wanted to share her wisdom. When he had a problem, she wanted to offer an instant solution. Unfortunately, lecturing did not accomplish any of her goals. Instead, Joe felt like she never listened. He felt disrespected and unheard. After a while, he simply tuned her out and quit listening. 
our children suffer consequences. However, by allowing them to suffer smaller consequences today, we teach them to avoid the harsher consequences of major misbehavior in the future.
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for the coming Christ. Traditionally, people observe Lent by practicing some sort of fasting (giving something up), generous compassion toward others (justice), and prayer (communion with God). To me, this sounds like a great opportunity to practice grace in our family as well as in the world at large. Grace begins with giving others the gift of acceptance. It builds to giving to others, and culminates in giving ourselves up for the benefit of others. What better place to learn and practice grace than in our family? With that in mind, I wanted to offer you a calendar of daily ideas for observing Lent with your family. The 
family? For this reason, the Family Lent Calendar begins with accepting one another. 
Jewish evangelist. His words of love are revolutionary, even today. Implementing his ideas this month will enhance your Valentine’s Day as they revolutionize your relationship with your spouse. Even more, I believe that implementing these words in our homes will spark a revolution that will not only change our families but the world. Yes, this revolution does begin at home. It begins with a personal change in how I respond to my family. This revolution has several components; but I only want to speak of one today. This first component begins the revolution; and it sounds…well, rather revolutionary by today’s standards. Let me explain. 
which we can surrender our rights for them. We constantly seek to lift them above us in having needs met. We become their servant. This revolutionary concept—submission—begins the revolution!
Encouragement and praise can also undermine a child’s growth and maturity. “What’s that you say?” It is true. If we, as parents, want encouragement to promote maturity and positive growth in our children, rather than undermine it, we have to avoid these five mistakes.
do something for us, we build a performance-based standard of acceptance. We subtly imply that “goodness” is only achieved through performance; our love is tied to performance. Instead, offer a simply smile, a “thank you,” an “I appreciate that,” or a pat on the back. Also, remember to acknowledge and praise the efforts our children make, even if the effort does not pay off with success. Thank them for their thoughtfulness, their desire to help, their effort to improve, even when they fall short of perfection. This communicates unconditional acceptance…and, it encourages continued effort.