Family by God&#039;s Design

Love Your Teen’s Risky Behavior

Teens love the thrill of taking risks. They seek out experiences that will stimulate their senses, emotions, and thinking in new and challenging ways. Daniel Siegel describes this novelty seeking as part of the adolescent’s E.S.S.E.N.C.E. (read The Essence of Adolescence for more information). Like our teens’ Emotional Spark (read more about the Emotional Spark of Your...

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February 27, 2016

My Teen Hates Me!

Do you ever get the feeling your teen hates you…that they don’t want you around? You know the scenario: teens don’t smile or interact at home but as soon as they see friends they perk up, smile, and interact with great energy. Or, teens, embarrassed by their parent’s simple remark, roll their eyes and say,...

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February 21, 2016

A Father’s Surprising Difference

Fathers, check this out—more proof of the significant difference you make in the lives of your children! Researchers from the University of New Castle followed 11,000 British men and woman for 30 years. They asked the parents of these men and woman how much quality time their father spent with them as children, activities like...

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February 15, 2016

The Emotional Spark of Your Adolescent’s ESSENCE

Daniel Siegel suggests the ESSENCE of adolescence involves an Emotional Spark (the ES in ESSENCE—for an overview of the ESSENCE read The ESSENCE of Adolescence). Teens experience intense emotions sparked by changes occurring in their bodies and their lives. For instance, teens experience changes in their family role and responsibilities. They also begin to face...

Family Shepherds Honor

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February 8, 2016

Barney, Big Bird, & Mr. Rogers Knew It…Do You?

Barney, Big Bird, and Mr. Rogers had at least one practice in common, a practice that every parent of young children can use to great benefit. Let me give you 3 simple hints (click on each for a further hint): “We always clean up, clean up, to show we really care….” “And That’s Cooperation….” “It’s...

Celebration Family Shepherds

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February 6, 2016

The E.S.S.E.N.C.E. of Adolescence

Daniel Siegel, PhD, talks about the E.S.S.E.N.C.E. of adolescence in his book, Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain. He describes how the ESSENCE of the teenage mind presents wonderful opportunities and frightening risks for parent and teen. If a parent tries to stifle, muzzle, or oppose this ESSENCE, the teen may rebel,...

adolescence healthy development parent child relationship parenting teen

January 11, 2016

Because I Said So

I was talking to a young man last week about his struggles coming home from college between semesters. One of his struggles involved his parents setting rules with no explanation. When he asked about the reasons for some rule, his parents would simply say, “Because I said so. I’m the parent and you need to...

Family Shepherds Honor

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December 26, 2015

Are We Raising the Next “Me Generation”?

I grew up in the 1970’s, which some refer to as the “Me Generation.” In 2013, Time Magazine referred to the millennials as the “Me Me Me Generation” (read more here), noting “they are narcissistic, overconfident, entitled and lazy, but they just might be new Greatest Generation” (read here). It seems a sense of entitlement...

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December 5, 2015

Two Skills of Great Parents

Parenting impacts children for a lifetime. In fact, some researchers suggest poor parenting impacts people in their sixties as much as the death of a loved one. Parenting built on the two particular skills, however, leads to higher life satisfaction and better mental health even into a person’s retirement! Researchers gleaned these two skills based...