Tag Archive for memories

Celebrate Family with 15 National Holidays

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I am amazed at the number of yearly holidays that I have never heard of. Seriously, who comes up with this stuff? For instance, you can celebrate “Name Your Car Day” in October or “Lumpy Rug Day” in May. It actually takes an act of Congress to create a National Day like the “National High Five Day” in April and the “National Play-doh Day” in September. Maybe you want to “create a day” of your own; if so, click here to learn how. In the meantime, why not take a few of these “special holidays” and use them to celebrate your family. To get you started, I have listed a few of my favorite days below. Check them out–most of them need no explanation. You can design your own family celebration for the ones that interest you.  Be creative and have fun celebrating family! And, share your fun celebration ideas with us at HonorGraceCelebrate in the comment section below or at our CelebrateFamilyTraditions Page on FaceBook. We’d love to hear from you!

 

January 12—National Hugging Day. Share a hug with your family. Better yet, give them an oxytocin hug! 


February 7th—National Send a Card To a Friend Day. I know, we could text, email, Skype, facetime…but, who doesn’t love to get a tangible card in snail mail.  Send a card to your spouse and kids today and watch their faces glow as they open them up!


March 14—Pi Day. I don’t know…it’s just a fun day. Enjoy some math together (really?) or go get a pie and eat it. You can figure out the area of the pie while you eat it (Area= [pi] r2).


March 30—Take a Walk in the Park Day. This is a wonderful day and activity for those with Quality Time as their love language. 


April 2—National Reconciliation Day. Bring the family together today. Forgive, be forgiven, and reconcile your relationship. Generations will thank you.


May 14—National Dance Like a Chicken Day. Everyone knows the Chicken Dance…and who doesn’t have fun dancing the Chicken Dance. So, put on the music or the YouTube and dance the Chicken Dance with your family. Why wait for a wedding? Do it today!


June 6—National Drive in Movie Day. Go to a drive in movie. Get some popcorn, a drink and enjoy the movie.


July 3—Compliment Your Mirror Day. Why not? “Mirrors are people, too.” Or, sneak in and put a post-it word of encouragement or compliment on your spouse’s mirror or kid’s mirror. They’ll read it when they look in the mirror…complimenting the mirror.


August 8—Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day. This is a great family activity. Pick out some neighbors. Bag up a couple zucchini. Sneak onto their porch, put the bag just outside the door, ring the bell and run. Watch from a distance to see their reaction. Your kids will love the fun.


September –first Sunday after Labor Day—National Grandparents Day. Grandparents can play a huge role in your children’s lives. Celebrate their involvement today. For all you grandparents, check out this resource: Extreme Grandparenting.


October –first full weekend—National Story Tellers Weekend. Make up a few stories of your own this weekend.


November—National Family Week starts the Sunday before Thanksgiving. A whole week to celebrate family. Take advantage of the opportunity to creatively celebrate your family.


November—3rd Saturday—National Day of Play. The family that plays together stays together. Need we say more?


November 27—National Day of Listening. What’d you say?  Just joking. You get the idea.


December 25—Christmas of course. Is there any better and more meaningful family holiday? Remember God’s generosity, share your generosity, and celebrate. 

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3 Tips to Nurture an Amazing Family Panacea

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After years in the family lab (aka—my home and family) and conducting research (my kids say I “experiment” with them, but I really don’t “experiment”…I just try different things) on the many factors involved in family happiness (learning from my multiple mistakes), I have finally discovered a miracle cure for many family ails. That’s right, a single practice that can increase family energy and enhance optimism. It will also increase the social connections among family members and decrease conflict. This single practice can even build happiness while decreasing depression, envy, greed, and materialism. Even more, research has shown this practice to help people sleep more soundly, take better care of themselves, and resist viral infections better. In children, research has shown that engaging in this family panacea leads to better grades, fewer complaints of headaches and stomach aches, and better relationships with family and friends. Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it? However, I have experienced the effectiveness of this attitude in action in my own life and family. Maybe you have already figured out what I’m talking about…gratitude. That’s right: gratitude can do all this for you and your family (read more here or here). So, follow this simple 3-step prescription to build gratitude into your family life.

      ·    Model gratitude in your daily life. Thank your children and spouse for things they do. Thank your neighbors. Make it a point to thank the family cook, the person who washes the clothes, and the one who took out the garbage…. Thank the checkout clerks when you shop and the wait-staff when you eat out. Model an attitude of gratitude for your family to see.

·    Create a gratitude journal or a gratitude wall. Each night before bed, let each family member list three things for which they are grateful. List them in a family gratitude journal or write them on strips of paper to build your gratitude wall. If you do not like the idea of a journal or a gratitude wall, use your imagination to create a gratitude bank, a gratitude flower garden (on the fridge), or a gratitude house. Whatever you choose, take the opportunity for each family member to share what has made them grateful each day.


·    Make a gratitude visit. Think of people who have influenced your family in a positive way. As a family, talk about how they have helped you and for what you would like to thank them. Then, buy them a small gift to represent our gratitude and arrange a time to visit with them. During your visit, give them the gift you bought and explain how they have influenced your family. In the midst of the visit, remember to verbally tell them “thank you.”


Perhaps you have more ideas for building gratitude in your family. Maybe you even have a special ritual, routine, or practice you use to instill gratitude in family members. Please share those ideas with us in the comment section below. We will all benefit as we nurture an attitude of gratitude in our families.

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10 Ways to Honor Your Family

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Honoring family members simplifies life. Really, it does. When family members honor one another, each person can relax in the trust of one another’s faithfulness; they can rest secure in family relationships. The whole family can walk in the freedom and openness of the truth, and celebrate the joy of being encouraged by one another’s words. Life becomes simpler when we honor one another. So, if you want to make family life better, think of ways to honor one another. Here are 10 ideas to get you started.

·     Let a family member be king or queen for a day. As king or queen, they get to pick the family meals and activities for the day. Make sure everyone gets a chance to be the king or queen for a day. Maybe you can do this by letting each person be king or queen on their birthday.

·     Organize a family smorgasbord. Let each family member pick one favorite food item. They might pick a dessert, a side dish, a main course, or an appetizer. Put it all together and feast on a smorgasbord meal.

·     Look through family photo albums or watch old family videos. Retell your favorite family stories as you do.

·     Get one envelope for each family member and write their name on it. Put all the envelopes nest to strips of paper in a common area of your home for one week. Encourage each family member to write a note to every other family member each day and place it in that person’s envelope. They can write something they admire about each person, a funny memory of each person, a thank you to each person, or an encouraging word.  At the end of the week, gather the family together for desert. While you enjoy your dessert, take turn reading your notes out loud. Laugh, tell stories, and celebrate together.

·     Have a family game night. Play board games, card games, sporting games…any games you like.

·     Create a 2-4 generation family tree (you can use more generations if you’d like). On the family tree, write the strengths and specific accomplishments of each family member recognized on the tree.  Share stories of each person’s life and the values your family learned through their life.

·     Go on a family outing to the zoo, the museum, a concert, a picnic…whatever you choose. Have fun!

·     Take a family vacation. Whether your vacation lasts a day or a week, enjoy the time together.

·     Make crafts as a family. If you have difficulty coming up with a craft, look some up on line. One fun idea is to create a family crest based on your name, family interests, and family values. 

·     Worship together—worship is a tremendous way to honor one another and celebrate as a family.

 What are your ideas for honoring family? Share them with us in the comment section.

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Teach Your Child to Remember the Future

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As parents, we want our children to have a great future. A great future has one ingredient that we cannot overlook. Adding this ingredient into the mix will help direct our children into a positive future. What is that ingredient? A memory! That’s right—a positive future demands a memory. Think about it… 

       ·    To truly anticipate a joyous future, a person needs memories that spark gratitude. Memories of gratefulness for kindnesses received, days of learning, effort that led to accomplishment, and exciting days of fun builds anticipation for similar events in the future. Help your children develop a history of gratitude by encouraging them to offer thanks for what they have and modeling thankfulness yourself.


·    To have a future free of excessive worry, your children needs memories of support, encouragement, and coaching in problem-solving. Build those memories by supporting your child through times of difficulty and encouraging them when the going gets tough. Spend time listening to them talk about relational and personal difficulties they experience. Listen carefully, acknowledge and encourage their efforts, validate their emotions, and help coach them in ways to successfully navigate those difficult times.


·     To have a future of positive relationships, our children need to have a memory of how their behaviors impact others and a practical memory of forgiveness and reconciliation. You can help your child build these memories by pointing out how their misbehavior and positive behavior impacts you and others. Let them know that screaming in the restaurant is disturbing the other diners. Let them know that helping you clean the house has made your life easier, gave you greater joy and pride, and allowed more time for you to enjoy a fun activity with them. Teach them the power of apology by example as well as direction. One of the greatest lessons in apology occurs when we, as parents, apologize to our children for some mistake we have made. Allow them to witness your forgiveness in your marriage and friendships. These memories will guide them into a future filled with positive relationships.


·    To have a future filled with personal growth, our children need memories of self-reflection as well as accomplishing goals and solving problems through effort and patience. Personal growth is necessary, but not necessarily easy. To grow in any area of our life demands some self-reflection. We have to reflect upon our current standing as well as the level we would like to attain and what we need to learn to “move from here to there.” Even more, we need to make the effort to “move from here to there,” patiently moving forward and persisting through setbacks. One of the best ways to teach your children these skills is to give them the gift of your memories. Tell them about the effort and patience you had to have to achieve your goals. Perhaps even more influential is to tell them about times you did not practice the self-reflection, patience, and hard-work necessary to reach some goal and, as a result, fell short. In this sense, you give your children a great gift—the gift of your memories and the lessons you learned through them.

 You get the idea. Our children need memories to create a strong foundation on which they can build a great future. Give them those memories in their own life and from your life. In doing so, you help them lay the foundation for a great future.

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2 Ingredients for a Family Cycle of Joy

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Do you want a family filled with joy? I do. I want to build a family that plays together, laughs together, enjoys one another’s company, and looks forward to family gatherings with joyful anticipation. If you want to have that kind of family, there are two things you need to know. First, a joyful family has a history. They have memories of joyful times. Joyful families have intentionally created opportunities to enjoy one another’s company and build joyful memories with family. They may have built joyful memories by playing games with one another or going on day trips with one another. Perhaps they shared adventures or went on vacations (long ones or short ones) together. Their joyful moments may have been as simple as sharing a favorite song on the radio or a funny story about the day…or as complex as learning a new skill together. The family of joy may have built joyful memories on small things or big things…either way they intentionally seized opportunities to experience fun and joy as a family. This history of family fun grows stronger and more secure as they share pictures of their fun times together and retell the stories of their joyful history. Whatever they found joyful, they shared. Whatever joyful moments they shared created a history of joy; and that history of joy became a foundation of trust and anticipation upon which to build new joyful moments.

 

Second, a joyful family has a future. Having that foundation of joy builds anticipation for future joyful experiences. A history of sharing joyful moments builds intimacy and trust. Each joyful moment pulled family bonds tighter and drew family members closer. Building on a history of joy allows each person to remain vulnerable and transparent with one another, open to new experiences of joyful interactions. A family who builds on a history of joy looks forward to a future filled with more laughter and fun.

 

Sandwiched between a history of joy and the future anticipation of joy, joyful families enjoy time with one another today. This all creates a wonderful cycle of joy, doesn’t it? The joy we have as a family today becomes our history of joy tomorrow…and that history of joy lays the foundation we need to anticipate the joy we can have tomorrow. Start the joyous cycle today by creating moments of joy right now.

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LOL-On Safari for the Elusive Smile

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The smile—you know, that infant giggle that brings joy to a mother’s heart, the hearty laughter of a child telling silly jokes, that elusive expression that goes into hiding through the teen years, the “raucous guffaw” of the adult watching comedy. We love to smile…and laugh. A recent review of a study on smiling and chopsticks made me smile. The researcher had three groups of subjects, each biting a pair of chopsticks to elicit a different face. Specifically, one group bit the chopsticks to stimulate the facial muscles of a fake smile, one to elicit a neutral face, and one to stimulate the muscles of a genuine smile (who thinks this stuff up?). While holding the chopsticks in their mouth, the subjects traced a star, trying to stay within the lines, with their non-dominant hand. Whenever they drew “outside the lines” a loud and annoying buzzer sounded, producing stress. Researchers monitored the subjects’ hearts rates during this task. After the heart rates spiked due to the stress of the loud buzzer, those who “wore a genuine smile” recovered a more relaxed heart rate more quickly than the other two groups. They recovered from the stress more quickly. Smiling enhances heart health. (Read the article here) I just have to smile…I mean, who would think of biting chopsticks and smiling? I guess the Chinese have known it all along-they train people to smile with chopsticks according to this brief article.
                                           
Anyway, I decided I’m going on safari this year. I have two teenage daughters (the elusive smile is often in hiding) and various stressors that I believe are more significant than whether I stay within the lines while tracing a star (don’t we all?). If using chopsticks to stimulate the muscles of a genuine smiling can help shorten recovery from stress and benefit the heart, maybe learning to genuinely laugh and smile on a regular basis can help my whole family manage stress and even build some fun into the family. With that in mind, I am in search of “the stuff of smiles.” I am on safari for the elusive smile producers. I have a couple of ideas to set the stage for effectively eliciting genuine smiles on the face of our family.
 
First, I hope to create a family environment that will encourage smiling. That is, everyone needs to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they can find acceptance in our home. Accept family members, smiles or not. Let it be known that mistakes are accepted… and allowed. In fact, learn to enjoy the humor in a simple mistake. Model smiling at your own mistakes.
 
Second, bring opportunities for smiling into your home. Play games just for fun. Who cares who wins…just have fun. Tell jokes. Get a book of silly jokes. Look up some jokes on the internet (Ducksters is a fun sight for jokes for younger children). Tell funny stories from your own childhood. My kids love to hear about the day I fell into the baptistery or ate a worm to impress a girl (yes, I know…not a smart move on my part). Watch a funny movie. Do whatever it takes to find that smile in your family and enjoy it.
 
Some of my favorite family times include my family laughing hysterically, tears rolling down our eyes, unable to even speak because we are laughing so hard. Sometimes I end up laughing just because my wife and daughter are laughing so hard. Remembering those times, I realize it is true… stress is relieved when we laugh. A fresh spirit of revival enters the home during a season of laughter. Oh yeah, I am on safari for the elusive smile this year. You’ll know if you see my family…they’ll be the ones with a smile on their face (even without biting on a chopstick)!
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Favorite Summer Foods

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Recently, one of my friends and I were talking about how food helps to build family. He excitedly shared the ethnic foods that his family eats to celebrate various traditions. He even shares them with me…and I enjoy that! We also talked about our favorite summer foods. Summer just would not be summer without our favorite summer foods. Many of my favorite memories of summer include food. Of course, many of my favorite activities all year round include food. At any rate, I thought I’d share some of my favorite summer foods with you. I do love to eat, so I had to trim the fat from my list in an effort to keep this post lean…and to leave us all hungry for more.
 
Everyone enjoys feasting on the juicy fruits of summer–watermelon, cantaloupe, peaches, berries. So many wonderful memories come to mind when I think of enjoying watermelon or peaches or strawberries at family reunions and various picnics. I really enjoyed the watermelon. Not only did watermelon taste great, but the seeds provided opportunities for fun competitions—who could shoot (aka, spit) them the farthest, who could shoot the most in the shortest amount of time, who could hit a target. Although watermelon provided good taste and great fun, I think my all-time favorite summer dessert as a kid was fresh strawberries, sliced with just a little sugar…delicious.
 
I love corn on the cob, too—cook it on the stove or cook it on the grill. I recall losing my two front teeth one year and having to cut the corn off the cob to eat it. Although it still tasted good, it just wasn’t the same. I also remember going to church camp and watching the staff roast corn on the cob for the campers. If you haven’t tried roasted corn on the cob, you’ll have to try it. It tastes wonderful. Of course, when you roast some corn on the grill, you might as well add some hot dogs and hamburgers. My family enjoys preparing their own hamburgers. We supply diced onions, red peppers, garlic, and mushrooms as well as shredded cheese and various spices. Each family member goes to town putting together their own hamburger patty. Masterpieces include whichever ingredients we choose.
 
While waiting for your hamburger and roasted vegetables to finish cooking, you could enjoy a salad. Be creative in your salad. Depending on your tastes, you can add cranberries, orange slices, apple pieces, pecans, or any other tasty morsels to your lettuce. However you mix it, you end up with a refreshing salad on a warm summer day.  
 
Finish out this feast with some sweet delights. Ice cream is a solid stand by. However, if you want to add excitement to your ice cream, throw in some fresh strawberries, raspberries, or blueberries. Even more exciting is strawberry shortcake. Every year, our family enjoys a day of rides at our local amusement park. On the way out, we always buy the summer sweet found in amusement parks—cotton candy.  Really, you need to get two orders so you have enough to go around…and maybe a third one for dessert after tomorrow’s picnic.
 
That’s it…the short list of my favorite summer foods. Each of these foods holds a special memory as well, memories of time spent with family over the summer months. I hope you have your special summer foods and traditions. If not, why not start some this summer. If you do have a favorite summer food and tradition, take a moment and share it in the comment section below. We’d love to hear from you.
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What the Manger Teaches Me About Family

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Every Christmas we arrange a manger scene in our house. A few shepherds, three “wise men from afar,” and an angel or two all look adoringly toward the baby Jesus in a manger. Of course, we also have a few barn animals milling about. In the midst of the hustle and bustle of Christmas, this simple scene reminds us of the Christmas story, taking us back to the first Christmas day when Christ was born in Bethlehem. One of the things I like most about the manger scene is that a family sits at the center of it all. Of course, the baby Jesus is the ultimate center, but even He is surrounded by His earthly family. The whole world—from the wealthy wise men and the poor shepherds to the heavenly angels–drew near to admire a baby surrounded by family. Amazingly, they all drew near to admire a baby in the midst of a town so crowded and chaotic that the only place for a pregnant woman to deliver her baby was in a barn. Can you imagine the crowd that must have filled Bethlehem, the greed that turned a woman-in-labor away from a warm bed and clean dwelling? Yet in the midst of that rushing crowd, the greedy market, and the tired travelers, a family drew near to one another, cared for one another, and loved one another…extravagantly. That’s the first lesson I learn about family from the manger scene: make time for family. Put aside all the trappings of Christmas–the excessive material gifts, the unrestrained shopping, the Griswold-style decorations, the greedy desires, and the bigger than life Christmas tree–and make time to share with your family, time to build one another up and time to love one another extravagantly…just as God loved us by sending Emmanuel to earth.
 
The manger also teaches us that Christmas is a time to slow down and treasure your family, ponder your family memories. In the midst of the shepherds, wise men, and animals, usually kneeling next to Joseph and gazing at the baby Jesus, we find Mary. Mary does something that I believe so crucial to the Christmas season: she “treasures all these things and ponders them.” As angels sing in the heavens, shepherds rush through town to find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes, strangers fight for hotel rooms and their place in line, and parents grumble about spending the night in the crowded town of Bethlehem, Mary quietly treasured her newborn baby. She listened to the shepherd’s story and the angel’s prophecies about her child and “pondered them in her heart.” She took time to “treasure” and “ponder” her family, to cherish her family and keep them in her heart and mind. Christmas is a time to slow down and treasure your family, ponder your family memories.
 
Events leading up the manger scene teach us to give family members the benefit of the doubt as well. Joseph had a hard time during Mary’s pregnancy. After all, he thought Mary had fooled around on him and gotten pregnant by another man. He loved Mary, but how could he marry her now? He decided to quietly end the engagement and move on. One night an angel appeared to him and explained the situation. The angel told Joseph that Mary had been faithful to him and that the baby “conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.” Joseph had difficulty believing Mary…understandable. But, God cleared the air and confirmed the truth. Joseph obeyed what the “angel of the Lord had commanded him” and married Mary. This is an extreme case, but it teaches us of the need to give family members the benefit of the doubt. We think the best of those we love and we give them the benefit of the doubt. In the midst of the rush of Christmas, give family members the benefit of the doubt. When someone blows up in frustration or says something with a sharp edge, give the benefit of the doubt…think the best of them.
 
The manger shouts for us to make sacrifices for our family. Mary, mistakenly thought to be a teen mother out of wedlock, sacrificed a “holy reputation” to trust God in starting her family. Joseph, a man whose friends may have mistakenly believed he married a cheating woman, sacrificed his reputation to marry and start a family. They both sacrificed their homeland to move their family to Egypt and escape Herod’s wrath. Perhaps the greatest sacrifice of all was made by God, who gave up his “only begotten Son” to make a world of lost people His adopted children. Christmas is brimming with sacrifice that leads to greater happiness and stronger family ties. This Christmas, follow the lesson of the manger: put your family’s needs above your own and make the sacrifices necessary to promote your family’s health.
 
One final lesson of Christmas: seek the Christ child. The angels sang of His birth. The shepherds rushed through Bethlehem to worship Him. Wise men traveled great distances to bring Him gifts. Simeon blessed Him. The widow gave thanks for Him in the temple. Each and every one heard of his miraculous birth and the promise of redemption. Each one came to see and worship Emmanuel–God with us. When we get right to the crux of it, isn’t that what Christmas is all about? The fact that God became man and dwelt among men, Emmanuel, God with us! This Christmas, join with the whole heavenly family and seek the Christ child.
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6 Ways to Celebrate Back to School

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My daughters are back to school today…woohoo! Well, my daughters are not celebrating the return to school. They rejoice to see friends but moan about the return of homework. Me, I take any and every opportunity I can to celebrate…and my children returning so school is reason enough! So, what can a family do to celebrate the return to school? Here are 6 simple ideas to get you started.

1.      Pack a special note for your child in their backpack or lunch. Write an encouraging note on an index card and attach a piece of candy to the back–call it a “candy gram.” Or, sneak a funny card into their backpack. If your child does not like to find notes or cards during school, give them a card before they leave for school. Pick the card thoughtfully, make it one that will make them smile and express how proud you are of them.

2.      You can also get your children a little “trinket” to make the first day of school. For instance, they might enjoy a key chain that they can attach to their backpack or, if they are old enough for a cell phone, a charm to attach to it. Make it something fun…something that sparks their interests…something that will make them smile and think of home.

3.      Before your children leave for their first day of school, take a few pictures. I know my daughters moan about this somewhat; but we love to document the transition to each new year, noting how our children and our family grows and changes over time. So, take a picture or two. Let your children model their new clothes, backpacks, and hairdo’s. Take serious pictures, funny pictures, and family pictures. Take enough pictures to document the successful transition to a new school year.

4.      After your children leave for their first day of school, have a brunch with your spouse or a group of other parents. This will give you and your spouse some time to relax together, enjoy adult conversation, reflect over the summer months, and plan your schedule for the early part of the school year. Even more, it will give you and your spouse time to enjoy one another’s company.

5.      Make the evening after the first day of school a special treat. Plan a meal that includes your children’s favorite dishes. You may also want to watch a family movie or play a family game. Do something as a family to celebrate that family remains, even though school begins. If you are not sure what activity your children might enjoy the most, ask them…and then work to prepare for that activity.

6.      One more thing it important as our children return to school…pray for them. Pray for them as they go to school, while they are in school, and even after school. Bathe them in prayer for safety, wisdom, humility, and fun.
 
Six simple ways to celebrate your children starting a new school year, have fun, and watch them grow.
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The Timeless Mind of a Parent

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Parenting is a process, not a one-time event. It occurs over time. Effective family shepherds have a “timeless mind” that maintains an awareness of past experiences, current behaviors, and future goals all at the same time. What have our children done in the past? What relationship have we developed through past experiences? What does their current behavior reveal about their learning from that past experience? What do we want them to learn and what character traits do we want them to develop for the future? How can we use the current experience to successfully move toward that future goal? All these questions and more pass through a parent’s mind in an instant when their child forgets to say “thank you” at an appropriate time or gets too loud in a library. With amazing agility, the family shepherd moves from the present to the past, to the future, and back to the present again—an amazing feat of mental time travel, all in an instance. Consider the timeless mind of a parent, the genius of a mental time travel.
 
Creating a history for tomorrow: The process of parenting provides multiple opportunities to build a history of amazing moments with our children—memory files of joy and adventure, frustration and disappointment. You and your child will share emotions ranging from ecstatic joy to deep sorrow, amazing pride to disappointing anger, and overwhelming happiness to heart wrenching sorrow. Each memory and emotion you share provides the opportunity to teach your child how to manage emotions, make wise choices, and develop intimate relationships. Children gain their sense of value and worth from their history of interactions with parents. They assess their relative worth in your eyes as they observe the energy you invest in them compared to the energy you invest in work, sports, TV, or money. What parents do today build’s their children’s memory of your love for them. This remembered history impacts your long-term effectiveness as a parent. 
 
Back to the future: Parents, as family shepherds, keep the future in mind as well. You have probably seen a scenario like this: a mother and her preschool son are standing in the checkout line when the young boy spots a candy bar (those wily store owners, putting the candy bars by the checkout counter and right at a child’s eye level!). He asks his mother for the candy bar. When she tells him no, he begins to argue. His mother stands firm initially. But, the young boy has one more tool in his pocket. He starts to cry. Screaming, he falls to the ground, kicks his feet and shakes his tiny fists in the air. Crocodile tears begin to flow while his mother looks around in a panic. She tries to calm him, but he just screams louder. His mother doesn’t know what to do. She feels embarrassed, fearing that everyone believes her an incompetent mother because of her son’s tantrum. In desperation, she grabs the candy bar and hands it to her son. He immediately stops screaming, sniffles a few times, and then smiles as though nothing happened. What has this young boy learned for the future?
 
Parents have to hold the child’s future in mind. Our children will not live with us forever. They will grow up, mature, and leave home to live their own lives. So, what future vision do you have in mind for your child? After all, the actions we take today will either guide our children toward a healthy tomorrow or a miserable tomorrow. Here are some important questions to consider for your child. The answers will help shape your parenting as a family shepherd.
·         What kind of adult do you want your child to become?
·         What are your hopes and dreams for your child? Do you want your child to be better known as a great athlete or an honest person? A brilliant business man or a man of integrity?
·         What personal characteristics do you want your child to develop?
·         What are your child’s strengths and weaknesses? What impacts your child and what does not?
Take time to consider your answers to these questions because your answers will help guide your parenting.
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