Savoring your marriage: to slow down and celebrate the happy moments of your relationship, to intentionally pause to appreciate the enjoyable experiences you have enjoyed together.

Our world is not set up to savor. We rush from activity to activity. We do everything quickly rather than slowly experiencing and appreciating the moment. However, a study from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign reinforces the benefit of slowing down to better appreciate your marriage, to savor your spouse and your marriage. This study included 589 respondents who completed questionnaires measuring how often they and their spouse intentionally took the time to appreciate positive experiences in their relationship, how satisfied they felt with their spouse, how much conflict they experienced, how secure they were in their relationship, and how stressed they felt.

Not surprisingly, those who took time to savor their relationship, to experience and appreciate the enjoyable moments of their relationship, were more satisfied in their relationship, argued less, and felt more confident in the future of their relationship. The positive effect of savoring one’s marriage was especially notable for those couples facing greater stress. Savoring served as a buffer against stress to protect their relationship.

So, if you want a more satisfying relationship with less arguing and more security, make the time to savor your relationship. How?

• Slow down and spend time together. Sit down together on the porch. Share a cup of coffee at the kitchen table. Go for a walk.
• During this time, talk about positive experiences you have enjoyed in your relationship. This may include things like the first time you met, your first date, your first kiss, your wedding, your honeymoon, a vacation you enjoyed together, a dinner you both recall. Talk about the fun, romantic, or joyful moments you have enjoyed together.
• Savor the present moment with one another. Go to a nice restaurant, enjoy an outing, listen to a concert in the park, and savor the experience. Go for a quiet walk and savor your time together. Sit arm in arm on your porch and enjoy one another’s company.
• Talk about future moments you are both excited about. Perhaps you are planning a vacation. Enjoy the anticipation together. Maybe you are going on a special anniversary date. Talk about what excites you for that anniversary. Look forward to and share your excitement for future events that you plan to enjoy together.

Don’t get caught up in the stream of rush and hurry around you. Slow down. Savor the pat, the present, and the future with your spouse. It will do your marriage (and your life) good.