I recently read a paper in which the author described imagination as resistance in one of the chapters. Imagination, the author explained, allows people to stand against oppression and imagine a world in which they lived as liberated people. It gives hope and vision, which translates to a level of internal freedom and joy in the moment that strengthens their resolve to navigate toward a more just world.

As I read this, I couldn’t help but “imagine” the impact that imagination has on marriages and families. Although marriages in our communities may not face oppression, they do face struggles. In order to navigate those struggles and “sail into better waters,” couples must imagine their destination, a healthier, more intimate port of call. Each person in the marriage must imagine what they might do and say in their best possible marriage, how they might respond to one another from a place of greater health and intimacy. In other words, imagination becomes resistance against the forces that strive to pull us apart and divide us.

In fact, when couples arrive at therapy with a desire to “fix” their marriages, an important part of the work is to catch a glimpse of the healthy marriage they want, to imagine what a good marriage looks like. What exactly is their “best marriage”? How will they greet one another in their best marriage? How will they speak to one another in their best marriage? How will they address and resolve conflicts in their best marriage? How will they draw near to one another in their best marriage? It begins with imagination. After all, imagination is resistance against the powers that threaten to tear our marriages apart.

With all this in mind, engage in a little resistance for your marriage against the powers that strive to pull our marriages apart. Imagine your marriage in the future. Imagine the experience of having the best possible marital relationship you can have with your spouse.

• What type of character do you exhibit? What helps to bring that character to the forefront?
• How do you respond to your spouse out of your best possible self within that relationship?
• What do you and your spouse do together in your best possible future marriage?
  • First thing in the morning?
  • For fun?
  • To end your day?
  • When you disagree?
  • When you argue?
• How do you interact with your spouse in your best possible marriage when you’re angry? When you’re disappointed? Frustrated with work? Proud? Happy?
  • What tone of voice do you use most often?
  • What type of touch is common?
• How do you look at your spouse when he/she enters the room in your best possible marriage?

Go ahead, imagine it. Enjoy what you imagine. It’s an act of resistance. It’s a hope for a better tomorrow. And after you’ve imagined…what will you do today to nurture your best possible marriage in the future?