Recently, one of my friends and I were talking about how food helps to build family. He excitedly shared the ethnic foods that his family eats to celebrate various traditions. He even shares them with me…and I enjoy that! We also talked about our favorite summer foods. Summer just would not be summer without our favorite summer foods. Many of my favorite memories of summer include food. Of course, many of my favorite activities all year round include food. At any rate, I thought I’d share some of my favorite summer foods with 
you. I do love to eat, so I had to trim the fat from my list in an effort to keep this post lean…and to leave us all hungry for more.
you. I do love to eat, so I had to trim the fat from my list in an effort to keep this post lean…and to leave us all hungry for more. Everyone enjoys feasting on the juicy fruits of summer–watermelon, cantaloupe, peaches, berries. So many wonderful memories come to mind when I think of enjoying watermelon or peaches or strawberries at family reunions and various picnics. I really enjoyed the watermelon. Not only did watermelon taste great, but the seeds provided opportunities for fun competitions—who could shoot (aka, spit) them the farthest, who could shoot the most in the shortest amount of time, who could hit a target. Although watermelon provided good taste and great fun, I think my all-time favorite summer dessert as a kid was fresh strawberries, sliced with just a little sugar…delicious.
I love corn on the cob, too—cook it on the stove or cook it on the grill. I recall losing my two front teeth one year and having to cut the corn off the cob to eat it. Although it still tasted good, it just wasn’t the same. I also remember going to church camp and watching the staff roast corn on the cob for the campers. If you haven’t tried roasted corn on the cob, you’ll have to try it. It tastes wonderful. Of course, when you roast some corn on the grill, you might as well add some hot dogs and hamburgers. My family enjoys preparing their own hamburgers. We supply diced onions, red peppers, garlic, and mushrooms as well as shredded cheese and various spices. Each family member goes to town putting together their own hamburger patty. Masterpieces include whichever ingredients we choose. 
While waiting for your hamburger and roasted vegetables to finish cooking, you could enjoy a salad. Be creative in your salad. Depending on your tastes, you can add cranberries, orange slices, apple pieces, pecans, or any other tasty morsels to your lettuce. However you mix it, you end up with a refreshing salad on a warm summer day.
Finish out this feast with some sweet delights. Ice cream is a solid stand by. However, if you want to add excitement to your ice cream, throw in some fresh strawberries, raspberries, or blueberries. Even more exciting is strawberry shortcake. Every year, our family enjoys a day of rides at our local amusement park. On the way out, we always buy the summer sweet found in amusement parks—cotton candy. Really, you need to get two orders so you have enough to go around…and maybe a third one for dessert after tomorrow’s picnic.
That’s it…the short list of my favorite summer foods. Each of these foods holds a special memory as well, memories of time spent with family over the summer months. I hope you have your special summer foods and traditions. If not, why not start some this summer. If you do have a favorite summer food and tradition, take a moment and share it in the comment section below. We’d love to hear from you.
this study, each toddler received treats (like Goldfish crackers). A few minutes later, one group of toddlers was asked to give one of their treats to a puppet. Another group was given an extra treat to share with the puppet. The study revealed that the toddlers who shared their own treat with the puppet displayed greater happiness than the toddlers who were given a treat to share. In other words, the toddlers who made a personal sacrifice exhibited greater happiness than those who did not. The toddlers found the generosity of personal sacrifice emotionally rewarding. One author of the study said, “Forfeiting their own valuable resources for the benefit of others makes them happier than giving away just any treat.” 
sacrifice. Sometimes we have trouble watching our children make a personal sacrifice. We hate to see them “lose something” they truly enjoy or lack something they really like having. So, we “protect” them from that feeling by giving them the “thing” to give away. Then, it is no skin off their nose. They do not have to make the sacrifice. We walk away feeling better because we do not have to see our children struggle with personal sacrifice. However, this study suggests that when we take away their opportunity to make a personal sacrifice, we rob them of happiness. We deprive them of the complete happiness that comes from making a generous personal sacrifice for another person. On the other hand, when we force them to give to others, we rob them of the joyous reward they might receive from freely offering a gift…and we plant seeds of resentment. But, when we model personal sacrifice in our giving…when we encourage them to give generously…when we present opportunities for sacrificial giving…we increase the opportunity for our children’s happiness. 
summer. I could swim, ride my bike, play with friends, go on a family vacation, sleep, and walk around town…the list seemed endless. Well, the list of possibilities seemed endless when summer began. Sometime in July, though, I began to get bored. My friends went on vacation at different times than I did. Riding my bike to the same old place day after day just lost its luster. Although I enjoy my sleep, you cannot sleep all the time. Besides, without air conditioning in the house it generally got too hot to enjoy sleep. That’s when I would hear it…the same old line every summer. I would approach my mother and say, “Mom, I’m bored.” She would look at me and smile before saying, “Well, find something to do.” That was not the answer I was looking for. I was hoping for a little relief…some direction…some sage advice that would direct me to the next exciting, over-the-top activity. But no, I’d just hear a simple, “Well, find something to do.” 
“Well, find something to do” also encouraged me to discover, get creative, and take some healthy risks. Sometimes I would do something unusual when allowed to “find something to do.” Maybe I could go for a bike ride, call a friend, mow the grass, go for a walk, or build mud pies. Many times, I chose to walk or ride my bike. In the process, I found interesting spiders, unusual leaves, and short cuts (adventures to a middle school child) to various places. I found my first record store while “finding something to do.” I learned how to “jump” my bike off a ramp and how to throw little green apples off the end of a stick. I found friends to ice skate with and I learned to skate backwards. I discovered what I could do, what I needed help with, and what I didn’t even want to try because my mother was kind enough to tell me to “find something to do.” 
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fireflies. Put up tent and sleep outside. Enjoy stargazing. Play capture the flag. 
great time with good adult supervision. 
frustrate our efforts to live by our chosen priorities and values. Unfortunately, the negative faces of anger use that energy but do clarify, communicate, or serve our priorities. In fact, these ineffective faces of anger prove counterproductive, and even detrimental, to our priorities and our family! Consider whether you wear any of these five ineffective faces of anger. Then, read the suggestions that follow to help you put on a more effective face of anger.
not move fast enough or fail to meet their expectations for competence or performance. 
misbehave, they slap on more rules to pull them back in line. They believe that the more children misbehave, the more rules they need to make them behave. Don’t get me wrong, rules are important. However, effective parenting does not begin with making more rules, but by forming a stronger relationship with your children. The stronger your relationship with your children, the more readily they will listen and obey…the more effective your parenting. Rather than need more rules, misbehaving children often need their parents to “lean into the relationship” while upholding the rules already in place. Children need relationship as much as they need structure. Josh McDowell even devised a formula for this: “Rules without relationship equals rebellion.” 
receptive. I wager your children will, too. So, converse with your children. 
rmula, we need to add an additional formula as well: “relationships without rules leads to running wild.” Parents must provide relationships and rules, love and limits, truth and grace. Parents as family shepherds will guide their children toward maturity. Guiding your child toward maturity involves leading by example and discipline. Family shepherds model the values and limits they want their children to internalize. Of course, children will respond more readily to those parents who have a strong, loving relationship with them. Children also imitate those adults they view as competent and powerful. Family shepherds will combine all this. They set a consistent example of love that guides their children toward maturity through warm, responsive parenting. 
restaurant feel uncomfortable. This allows them to develop empathy and actually see the nonverbal cues other people present to them about their behavior. Of course, family shepherds also point out when their children’s behavior has a positive effect on others and themselves. They let their child know when their behavior makes their sister smile and when other restaurant customers admire their behavior. 
When my oldest daughter was almost 3-years-old, she played the part of flower girl in a friend’s wedding. She dressed in a beautiful white dress and dropped flowers on the carpet before the bride walked the aisle to marry her husband-to-be. Vows exchanged and pictures taken, we proceeded to the wedding reception. I love wedding receptions—a time of great joy and celebration. Of course, 3-year-olds love them, too. My daughter was dancing, laughing, and having a good time. Soon, the dance floor cleared except for the bride and groom. As the music played, the bride sat on a chair in the middle of the empty dance floor and the groom prepared to remove her garter. Suddenly, a near 3-year-old dressed in a beautiful white dress broke out of the crowd, ran across the dance floor, and tackled the groom. She wrestled him to the ground. The crowds’ laughter slowly turned to stunned murmuring. “Who’s that child’s parent?” I tried to hide, but I couldn’t. Someone had to go get my daughter. Mustering all the dignity I could, and under the watchful eyes of wedding guests and family, I walked across the dance floor to retrieve my daughter. After apologizing, I discovered that the bride and groom really didn’t mind. Apparently, the guests didn’t mind either. They thought it was “cute” and “funny.” But, I have to admit, I was a little embarrassed. Unlike my daughter, I really don’t like being in the center of a large crowd.
Those differences, the uniqueness of each family member, add to the beauty and strength of family. Where my “natural bent” falls short, my wife’s “natural bent” picks up…and vice versa. My daughters, who don’t mind “putting themselves out there,” and my wife, from whom they inherit that trait, have taught me how to become more involved and social in a group. I am grateful for that. Hopefully, my uniqueness has also taught them something as well. Our differences help us grow and learn. Our differences add to the complex beauty of our families. As family shepherds, we accept the differences of each family member. Even more, we cherish those unique traits as opportunities to promote growth, cooperation, and love. 
Parents in grace crushing families make demands that exceed their child’s developmental ability. They control their child with rewards and punishments, demanding that their child “give in” to their expectations. Grace crushers make their child’s decisions for him. Disagreement is viewed as disrespect and punished, leaving their child little opportunity to develop his unique personality. When their child does assert his independence, he is crushed with shame-inducing statements like “I’m glad your grandmother isn’t alive to see that” or “I work all day to make your life better and you treat me like this!” Or, the child may be forced into submission with fear-centered statements like “If you keep this up, I’ll call the police to take you away” or “I don’t have to put up with this, I’ll just leave.” Such comments crush a child’s spirit rather than teach appropriate behavior. They produce resentment, fear of failure, feelings of inadequacy, and a constant need for approval.And, the demanding, controlling behavior of grace crushing parents teaches the child that he is not trusted and his parents do not believe he is adequate, capable, or trustworthy. In an effort to gain independence and prove his adequacy, the child in a grace crushing home eventually rebels. As Josh McDowell says, “Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.” 
alive in your family. How? I’m glad you asked. Here are some “daily ideas” to help you keep the love alive. For more ideas, you can visit “The Honor Bank” on our website, friend us on Facebook, or follow us on Twitter. In the meantime, each of the daily deposits listed here will keep the spirit of Valentine’s Day alive in your family for months to come!