I recently had the opportunity to speak to a group of high school boys about dating. I love speaking to young people about relationship.  I was asked to speak to this group about dating and chose to tell them about the four guys they date when they go out with girl. As you can imagine, they didn’t believe there were any guys involved in their date with a girl. But, let me explain. Every time a guy dates a woman, four guys accompany them.

1. The woman’s big brother is on your date. My first serious girlfriend had two big brothers and they were big…college football big. I could tell by the way they watched me enter a room or sit next to “their sister” that I better treat her well. They had their little sister’s back. If I mistreated her, I’d answer to them. Every woman has a “big brother.” The big brother may not be a blood relative, but he cares about the woman you are dating and he has her back!

2. The woman’s father is on your date. Fathers are all for their daughters meeting a nice guy and eventually marrying an even nicer guy. On the other hand, all fathers have at least a small stake in the Dads Against Daughters Dating (D.A.D.D.) club. Fathers are protective. They have high standards for any man who wants to date their daughters. And, daughters adore their fathers. So, if you want to make a good impression on your girlfriend, treat her father with respect. If you want to have any chance at continuing to date your girlfriend, stay in her father’s good graces by treating his daughter well. The better you treat a man’s daughter, the more accepting and supportive of your presence he will be.

3. The woman’s future husband is on your date. The woman you date will eventually marry. Maybe she will marry you; maybe she’ll marry someone else. Either way, wouldn’t you be upset and even angry if your fiancé told you that some guy disrespected and hurt her…or worse, abused her emotionally or physically? Wouldn’t it be painful to hear her describe how a previous boyfriend mistreated her or took advantage of her? You’d likely be infuriated if you had to work through fears and mistrusts your fiancé struggles with because of how a previous boyfriend treated her! Don’t be that previous boyfriend.

4. The woman’s heavenly Father is on your date. (Gary Thomas expands on this in his book A Lifelong Love.) Imagine…you stand before our heavenly Father as He sits on the judgement seat on the last day. His gaze falls on you then drifts to His precious daughter, the woman you’re dating (or married to). When His eyes return to you, you will see one of two looks. 1) He may say, “You have treated My daughter well, like the princess I created her to be. I love her so much I’d give my life for her…and you have loved her with the same sacrificial love. Thank you. You’re welcome in my house any time.”  2) He may turn to you with fire in His eyes as He exclaims, “You mistreated My daughter, My princess, the one I love and would give my life for. You hurt her. You disrespected her and took advantage of her. Get out of my house!”  Which look do you want to receive from your heavenly Father?  How you treat your date could make the difference.

Dating is fun. Dating can even prove important for healthy social development. But, dating carries responsibility as well. Keeping the four men you date with every woman in mind can help make your dating experience much more meaningful and enjoyable.