Raising Supportive Young Adults
Children grow into adults. (Thank you, Captain Obvious.) We want our children to grow into adults who engage in prosocial behaviors, show empathy to others, and support others in healthy ways. A study from University of California found that adolescents who receive emotional support from family and friends became more supportive of others in young adulthood. Sounds obvious, doesn’t it? But there was a caveat. Family support did not predict the same outcome as peer support.
This study started collecting data about children when they were in fifth grade and continued collecting data for 10 years. During that time, researchers used questionnaires to monitor behavior. They also utilized physiological monitoring to assess their ability to manage arousal as they matured. In addition, researchers gathered data on the participants perceived social support from family and friends. At 17- and 19-years they assessed the participants’ empathy and prosocial behaviors. The results suggest that family support and peer support contribute to different aspects of adult social behavior.
Specifically, family support predicted how a young adult would act toward people they were close to while peer support predicted how a young adult would engage in “helpful community actions” such as volunteering. Ironically, another study suggests that the ability to build positive peer relationships in middle school begins with positive relationships with parents at home. Taken together, these studies suggest that feeling secure and connected helps adolescents grow into young adults who engage the “broader community” in healthy ways. With that in mind:
- Nurture a positive relationship with your children. Spend time with your children. Make it a point to learn about their interests. Encourage healthy interests with genuine interest of your own. Have fun together.
- Nurture positive relationships between your children and their peers. Invite their peers to your home. Invite them on outings now and again. Keep your home stocked with “goodies” for your children and their friends.
- Teach social etiquette. Teach them to listen, not just talk. Encourage them to practice being polite and expressing appropriate curiosity about people they meet. Talk about decisions and actions you witness in TV shows, stories, news items, or yourself. Use these opportunities to discuss the pros and cons of various actions as well as the values undergirding various actions and decisions.
- Get to know the parents of your children’s friends. You might even develop some lifelong friends of your own.
Support you children as they move through adolescence and encourage healthy peer interactions as well. We will all benefit from this as our children become supportive, caring young adults.
-0 Comment-