Family by God&#039;s Design

The First Step in Effective Discipline

I read a blog from Greater Good entitled What Happens to Kids When Parents Fight. It is an excellent article and well worth the read. You can read it by clicking here. The author notes that children pay close attention to their parents’ emotions. They carefully observe their parents’ interactions and determine how safe the...

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August 22, 2016

You Gotta Be Kiddin’ Me

I’m really not surprised by the findings of this study when I think about it…but it took four studies to bring this information to light. Unfortunately, it seems to be some of the common knowledge that has been lost over the last several generations. Research out of the University of Chicago—Booth School of Business explored...

Grace Honor

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August 6, 2016

Fix It, Clean It, Replace It, or Lose It

I worked as a school-based therapist in an inner-city middle school for several years. It was a great experience. I met many wonderful students and amazing teachers. Still, at times I thought we missed the mark when responding to students’ misbehavior. For example, one day a group of girls had a “wet paper towel party”...

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July 30, 2016

Discipline: Time Out or Tuning In

Parents have attempted to use “time out” as a popular discipline technique for years. Unfortunately, it is often misused and, as a result, leads to more arguing and greater parent-child conflict. You might have had the experience of trying to give your child a “time out” only to find yourself in a drawn out argument...

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July 23, 2016

Help Your Children Internalize Great Values

As parents, we want our children to internalize positive values and the discernment to make wise choices. We encourage them to begin developing this kind of maturity early in hopes that, over time, they will internalize the skills necessary to do so independently. How can we help our children internalize the positive values and behaviors...

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July 18, 2016

Think Like a Child to Discipline Well

Learning how children think helps parents discipline well. It’s true. Knowing how children process information gives parents crucial information for effectively stopping unwanted behavior and teaching desired behavior. Take lying for example. Studies suggest that up to 96% of children lie (see Help! My Teen Lies to Me for information on teens lying). So, if you...

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July 9, 2016

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3 Steps to Teach Children Better Behavior

Effective discipline involves teaching appropriate behavior, not just punishing negative behavior. In fact, the most effective discipline focuses first and foremost on teaching positive behaviors with these three steps. Model the behavior you want to see in your children. If you want honest children, model honesty. Tell them the truth. Keep your promises so they...

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July 3, 2016

Prelude, Fugue, & Variation in “NO”

Prelude in “NO”: Learning to tell your children “no” will benefit them for a lifetime. They won’t like to hear it; after all, they have a mind of their own and your “no” reminds them they can’t do everything they want to do. Still, they need your “no.” They lack the experience and knowledge to make...

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June 18, 2016

Family Rules: The Guardrails of Safety

From the time my children could walk (and even before), my family has enjoyed walking along the ridge of Mt. Washington in Pittsburgh, PA. Our daughters often ran ahead of us and darted out onto the overlooks. They would run right to the edge of the overlook and peer through the fence at the panoramic...