“What’s it like to be a parent: It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love”-Nicholas Sparks.
I like that quote. It’s very true. Parenting is hard work and it does teach you unconditional love. Although parenting is “one of the hardest things you’ll ever do,” we can make it easier with the right attitude and the skills related to those attitudes. Three of these attitudes can be summed up in the traits of a “hardy personality.” A hardy personality can help a parent
become more effective. And fortunately, parents can learn the three components of hardiness and the skills related to those attitudes. With that in mind, let me explain the three components of a hardy personality and how they can help in parenting.
- Challenge. A hardy parent believes that change is an ordinary aspect of life. They accept the inevitable change as a challenge to learn and grow. With every season of life our families change In fact, if anything is constant in a family it’s that families change. Children grow. Parents grow older. Life progresses. A hardy parent responds to these changes by learning and growing. They seek out information about each change they encounter. For instance, they learn about their children’s developmental stages and their personality. They learn effective parenting skills to address their children’s misbehaviors and increase their positive behaviors. They learn the impact of a healthy marriage on their children’s health and then accept the challenge of building a strong marriage. Hardy parents accept the challenge of change as an opportunity to learn and grow.
- Commitment. A hardy parent embraces commitment. They commit to active involvement in their family life and they find meaning and purpose in their families’ lives and activities. To do this, hardy parents become actively involved in their children’s lives and their families’ lives. They commit to give their families their time and energy. They commit to remaining available to their families and fully attentive to the needs of their spouse and children. They commit to growing as a person so they can model integrity and character to their children. A hardy parent commits to active involvement and growth.
- Change. Hardy parents hold the belief that consequences are predictable and, at least in part, within their control. In other words, they have an internal locus of control. When difficulties arise, they seek out aspects of the situation they can influence and focus on those areas. Rather than becoming overwhelmed by difficulties, they focus their energies on the aspects of the difficulty they can impact. They believe they can learn to better control their reactions and emotions, even in the face of difficult situations. They can learn to remain stronger, wiser, and more in self-control than their misbehaving child. They can learn to remain calm and loving even in the midst of disagreements that arise within their family. They believe they can learn better ways to manage their emotions and express their love. They put in the effort to learn and grow. And, as a result, they do.
You can imagine how these three simple attitudes can impact parenting. The hardy parent practices all three. And, you can learn to practice these three attitudes in your parenting. Give it a try. You’ll love the results!
Oh, I did find another quote I really like about parenting.
“Parenting is the toughest job in the world. Good thing my coworker is cute!”-Mum2AFish
When you feel like you can’t learn the beliefs of a hardy parent, ask you “coworker” to help you out. They can do it…and they’re cute!
romantic dinners, or funny knick knacks to make your spouse laugh. Let me suggest that you give the best Valentine’s gift ever. (Don’t worry; no pressure.) Although this sounds like a bold statement, I believe you truly can give the best Valentine’s gift ever. It will not cost you much financially, but it will save you tens of thousands of dollars. More importantly, it will bring you more long-term joy than you can imagine. What is the best Valentine’s gift ever? A “3-step promise of commitment.” “What? Wait a second. My wife knows I’m committed. She will not thrill at the promise of commitment.” I think she will (and for you women, so will he). Read through the “3-step promise of commitment” and judge for yourself.
meaningful conversation a day with your spouse. The average married couple in the US only spends 4 minutes a day in meaningful conversation. Commit to change this in your marriage. Commit to build intimacy through meaningful conversation. You can meet over a cup of coffee, breakfast, or while taking a walk. Talk about the news, daily activities, movies, books, spiritual insights gained, or interactions you had with someone while away from your spouse. Go even deeper by discussing the emotions, good and bad, that these experiences aroused in you. Converse like you did while dating by 1-remaining curious about what your spouse is thinking and feeling and 2-accepting your spouse’s ideas and opinions as important and valid. This daily commitment will lead to deeper intimacy with your spouse.