Family by God&#039;s Design

Discipline: Time Out or Tuning In

Parents have attempted to use “time out” as a popular discipline technique for years. Unfortunately, it is often misused and, as a result, leads to more arguing and greater parent-child conflict. You might have had the experience of trying to give your child a “time out” only to find yourself in a drawn out argument...

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July 23, 2016

Help Your Children Internalize Great Values

As parents, we want our children to internalize positive values and the discernment to make wise choices. We encourage them to begin developing this kind of maturity early in hopes that, over time, they will internalize the skills necessary to do so independently. How can we help our children internalize the positive values and behaviors...

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July 18, 2016

Think Like a Child to Discipline Well

Learning how children think helps parents discipline well. It’s true. Knowing how children process information gives parents crucial information for effectively stopping unwanted behavior and teaching desired behavior. Take lying for example. Studies suggest that up to 96% of children lie (see Help! My Teen Lies to Me for information on teens lying). So, if you...

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July 9, 2016

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3 Steps to Teach Children Better Behavior

Effective discipline involves teaching appropriate behavior, not just punishing negative behavior. In fact, the most effective discipline focuses first and foremost on teaching positive behaviors with these three steps. Model the behavior you want to see in your children. If you want honest children, model honesty. Tell them the truth. Keep your promises so they...

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July 3, 2016

Prelude, Fugue, & Variation in “NO”

Prelude in “NO”: Learning to tell your children “no” will benefit them for a lifetime. They won’t like to hear it; after all, they have a mind of their own and your “no” reminds them they can’t do everything they want to do. Still, they need your “no.” They lack the experience and knowledge to make...

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June 18, 2016

Family Rules: The Guardrails of Safety

From the time my children could walk (and even before), my family has enjoyed walking along the ridge of Mt. Washington in Pittsburgh, PA. Our daughters often ran ahead of us and darted out onto the overlooks. They would run right to the edge of the overlook and peer through the fence at the panoramic...

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June 11, 2016

A Beautiful Sight

My wife and I attended a free concert at the Three Rivers Arts Festival the other night. A few days later I had the opportunity to attend another one with my daughter. They were wonderful outdoor concerts…and free (who can beat that!). People filled Point Park to listen, dance, eat, and sing. I looked around at...

Celebration Family Shepherds

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June 6, 2016

Chores: The Gift of Significance

We underestimate children. By and large we expect too little of our children. We schedule every minute of their day to give them opportunities…and because we think they can’t learn as much on their own. We succumb to video games and TV shows because we think our children incapable of inventing their own activities. We...

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May 23, 2016

Investing Time & Attention in Your Children

Children have two currencies for LOVE: TIME and ATTENTION (Read Your Child’s Currency For Love for mistaken investments). When parents invest time and attention into their children’s emotional bank account, their children grow to know themselves as significant and valuable. They realize they hold a place of importance in their parents’ lives. As a result, they become...