Many teens experience at least some level of anxiety, from shyness to full blown anxiety. However, the way in which mothers and fathers interact with their children can influence their teens’ level of anxiety. Their interaction may not prevent anxiety, but it can influence it, for better or worse, according to a study published in Adolescent Research and Review.

Specifically, warmth and acceptance lowered social anxiety in teens. On the other hand, “overly strict, guilt-tripping, or overprotective parenting increased” symptoms of anxiety. With that in mind, here are five tips to create a home environment that might lessen your teens’ anxiety.

• Show appropriate affection to your children and teens. This can include hugging or, as your child moves through the teen years and seems uncomfortable with a public hug, a hand on the shoulder, a high five, or a fist bump. Whatever it is, share physical affection with your children and teens.
• Spend time with your children and teens. Engage with your children and teens in activities that they enjoy. If they enjoy playing catch, play catch. If they enjoy listening to music, listen to music. As you pursue connection with them through activities they enjoy, they will become more willing to engage with you in activities you enjoy as well. The time you spend together will deepen your relationship, opening the door for opportunities to share life’s wisdom and values.
• Pursing emotional connection. As you spend time with your teens, they will share more about what is going on in their lives and, perhaps indirectly, how they feel about those happenings. This will allow you the opportunity to connect with them on an emotional level. Emotional connection will necessitate listening not just to the words and circumstances of your teens, but to their underlying emotions as well. Respond to their emotions. Label the emotion. If you get it wrong, they’ll correct you. Accept that correction. Validate their emotion. Empathize with their emotions. Connect with your teens in their emotions.

These first three steps translate to warmth and acceptance in your relationship with our children and teens. They provide the warmth of a growing relationship. They display acceptance of your children, their interests, and their emotions. Don’t stop there though, consider limits and boundaries as well.

• Set healthy, age-appropriate limits for your children and teens. Children and teens need limits and guidance to help prevent them from taking unnecessary risks due to inexperience and lack of knowledge. Appropriate limits will provide your children and teens with a level of safety in dealing with various challenges as well. Ultimately, these healthy limits support our children’s autonomy. Everyone feels safer on a highway with boundaries or walking along a cliff with a safety fence. We have more fun in a game that has rules. And those rules allow us the freedom to enjoy and grow in the skills of the game more fully. The same is true for limits within the family. They provide safety, an understanding of expectations, and the opportunity to grow in the skills of life more fully.
• Let the limits change as your children and teens mature. The limits required to keep a 5-year-old safe and healthy are vastly different from the limits a 15-year-old needs. In other words, limits need enough flexibility to allow your children to grow and mature. Overly strict, unchanging limits will inhibit your children’s opportunity to gain experience and mature. Overprotection will only serve to keep your children from learning and maturing or in pushing them toward rebellion, both of which increase the risk of harmful behaviors. Establish limits that change with maturity and encourage your children to mature.

It all comes back to a healthy balance of relationship and rules—a warm and accepting relationship along with healthy, balanced, age-appropriate limits that promote growth and maturity. Although the balance won’t necessarily alleviate any chance of teen anxiety, it can go a long way in helping decrease your teens’ anxiety.