At first glance our world appears divided and broken beyond repair. Various factions spew words of anger and hatred at one another, words armed with sarcastic ridicule and demeaning labels. Conspiracy theories abound to implicate “the other” of horrid motives and intents. These things are dangerous and each side of the aisle “feeds the beast” by engaging in such actions. If you’re tired of all this (I know I am), I’d like to suggest taking up a few simple weapons of resistance. Family is the perfect place to begin using and practicing these weapons. They are so simple that a child can master them. In fact, children often become our teachers in how to most effectively wield these weapons.

Weapon number 1: the smile. A genuine smile brings people together. It expresses delight in seeing the other person. It invites the other person into relationship. Smiling helps us recover from stress (On Safari for the Elusive Smile). All in all, a smile has much greater power than we admit. Use it wisely.

Weapon number 2: laughter. This weapon, although related to the smile, is powerful in its own right. Laughter increases intimacy and makes each person feel more validated (Laugh, a Simple). Laughing together increases feelings of mutual support (Laughter is Good Medicine). It replaces fear with hope and shame with belonging and wellbeing. It increases our sense of safety. Laughter is a powerful weapon in our world of division. Learn to laugh together.

Weapon number 3: “Sing, Sing a song. Sing out loud. Sing out strong.” Singing together and making music together, even listening to music together, synchronizes our heartrates and breathing. It arouses similar emotions. In other words, singing, playing music, and listening to music can bring us together. So, turn on the radio, go to a concert, sing in a choir, form your own choir. Let the music break down the walls and draw you and your family together.

Weapon number 4: Play. Play helps us get to know one another better. It teaches us the limits of our abilities and how to manage those limitations in a healthy way. Play increases empathy and understanding. It teaches cooperation and communication. In general, play strengthens intimacy and connection.

You may have doubts about the power of these four weapons. You may even think these four weapons are silly. But I assure you, they possess great power. If you have doubts (and even if you don’t) I offer you a challenge. For the next 30 days practice using these four weapons. Smile, laugh, listen to music, and play together…every day. Then, at the end of 30 days, see if you don’t feel more connected and intimate with one another. I believe you’ll be pleasantly surprised.