What “Master Parents” Do
Do you want to be a “Master Parent”? No parent is perfect. In fact, the most perfect thing about a “perfect parent” is their imperfection (blog). Still, don’t you want to become a “master parent,” one that creates an environment most likely to produce growth and health for your children? If so, let me briefly describe seven ingredients that go in to becoming a “master parent.”
- A “master parent” is warm and affectionate. They prioritize developing a relationship with their children. Of course, they are the parent and their children will get mad at them sometimes. In fact, almost every “master parent” has experienced their children saying, “I hate you” in one way or another. Still, “master parents” focus on relationship. This means maintaining a respectful tone of voice and using respectful words with their children, even when angry. It means giving regular, healthy physical affection like a hug, a good-bye kiss, an arm around the shoulder, or relaxed wrestling. (The NBA Playbook will give you hints on doing this well!)
- A “master parent” gives time to their children. Relationships require time, lots of it. Spend time having fun, doing projects, talking, or just hanging out. Make sure your children know you are present and available. (Here’s some tips on How to Spend Quality Time with Your Children.)
- A “master parent” works with their children’s other parent. They do not put the other parent down nor do they allow their children to put their parent down. Instead, “master parents” support their children’s other parent. They encourage them. They build them up in front of their children. Most important, “master parents” work to build a positive relationship with their children’s other parent, ideally modeling a positive marital relationship for their children to emulate.
- A “master parent” establishes clear rules. Rules are geared toward safety and respect for others. Rather than have a rule for every possible scenario, “master parents” teach their children the “spirit of the rule” so they can think through any given situation and act accordingly. (Family Rules are the Guardrails of Safety.)
- A “master parent” established appropriate and enforceable consequences for misbehavior. Consequences are age appropriate, clear, concise, and enforceable. They are geared toward teaching appropriate behavior rather than simply punishing misbehavior.
- A “master parent” focuses on behavior rather than criticism. Criticism contributes to children feeling bad, inadequate, or incapable. Mocking, sarcasm, and name calling ultimately result in more misbehavior. Effective correction is aimed at correcting the misbehavior and replacing it with more thoughtful, appropriate behavior. It involves teaching.
- A “master parent” maintains a sense of humor. “Master parents” smile, laugh, joke, and play with their children. This helps build a more positive relationship. And, families that laugh together grow closer to one another.
Seven ingredients of “master parents.” How many do you already practice in your role as parent?