You’ve probably heard that “nice guys finish last.” I beg to differ; and this study, published in Social Psychology, also begs to differ. More specifically, this study involved two experiments. In the first experiment, 463 participants responded to statements measuring their tendency to show “everyday niceness,” their level of social connectedness, and their attitudes toward cooperation. This experiment revealed that:

• The tendency to engage in niceties was associated with a greater sense of social connectedness.
• That social connectedness predicted a willingness to cooperate.

The “nice guy,” in other words, experienced a greater sense of social connection and exhibited an increased willingness to cooperate.

In the second experiment, 164 participants were divided into “task teams” and randomly assigned to one of two conditions: niceness or control.

• The niceness group was told to collaborate with their team while intentionally being nice to one another. “Nice” involved smiling at one another, asking about one another’s well-being, using a warm tone of voice, actively listening, and overall contributing to a “pleasant working atmosphere.”
• The control group was told to work together by focusing solely on the task rather than one another’s well-being. Facial expressions were to express focus. Voice tone was to remain neutral or assertive. In other words, get the job done without the “niceties.”

The results of the second experiment added to the first. Specifically,

• Niceness toward team members resulted in greater satisfaction with the team and a more positive attitude toward cooperation.
• This was associated with a greater sense of social connection.

Think about that for a second. Simple gestures like smiling at one another, asking about the other person’s well-being, and using a warm tone of voice, increased satisfaction with the “team” as well as increasing cooperation and their sense of connection. Aren’t those goals we strive for in our families? An increased satisfaction with being part of the family (our team)? Increased willingness to cooperate (with maintaining a household, getting things done, etc.)? An increased sense of connection to the family? I know that is what I want for my family. And the good news—YOU can contribute to all that by simply being nice to one another, nurturing an environment of kindness.

I’ve heard that “nice guys finish last,” but this study reveals the lie of that statement. When it comes to working together, cooperating, feeling connected to one another, and experiencing an increased sense of well-being, “nice guys finish best.” Be the “nice guy” in your family.