There’s a myth that aging through midlife and into late adulthood is a time of crisis. You know, the midlife crisis. However, late midlife can actually be a time of personal growth and greater “self-transcendence.” A study from a psychologist at the University of Buffalo supports the idea of late midlife as a time of positive change, personal growth, fulfillment, understanding, and acceptance. Specifically, this study examined how people narrated their life stories in late-midlife. They found that reflecting on our lives promotes self-acceptance, growth, and optimism. It enables people to grow in their understanding of how life experiences have contributed to an understanding of themselves in the present. As people gave greater attention to the meaning of their lives as well as the perspective of others and their connections to others, they grew in “self-transcendence” or the experience of connection beyond the self, the recognition of being part of something bigger than the self. This led to a greater sense of happiness and fulfillment.

I bring this up because (as Captain Obvious observes) families are made up of multiple generations. We want our children to grow and mature into responsible adults. We want them to have positive life experiences and joyous times of connection.

We also want our parents and our grandparents to experience peace and joy. We want them to know the pleasure of connection as they encounter new experiences in life. We want them to experience a greater sense of fulfillment as they age. And you can contribute to their growing sense of peace, happiness, connection, and fulfillment. It’s as simple as asking them about their lives. Ask them about their life experiences. Listen. You’ll be surprised at their accomplishments, their struggles and their joys. You’ll learn how they discovered personal strengths, navigated sorrows and found meaning in those sorrows, and developed a sense of self that may even surprise you. In the process, you’ll hear some amazing stories. You’ll grow more appreciative of their life and of the family heritage they pass on to you. Even more, you’ll contribute to their growing sense of happiness, peace, connection, and fulfillment. All it takes is one simple request: “Tell me your story about….”