Does stress ever impact your marriage and family life? Maybe you’re feeling the impact of stress on your family right now. I know stress impacts my marriage and family. But I have some good news. Research completed by the University of California, Davis, offers some helpful advice. In this study, the researchers analyzed 321 adults between 56-87 years old. They compared the participants’ self-reported emotional states and their relationship satisfaction with levels of cortisol (a stress hormone). In general, chronically high levels of cortisol contribute to poorer physical health.

The results of this study suggest that couples experience lower levels of cortisol (lower levels of stress hormones) when their partners feel positive emotions. Did you catch that? Said more personally, when my spouse reports higher positive emotions, I produce less stress hormone…I feel less stress. The effect was even stronger in couples reporting high relationship satisfaction. Even more surprising, this study revealed that the positive emotions of one’s spouse had a stronger impact on a person’s stress levels than a person’s own positive emotion. In other words, having a strong, healthy marital relationship and seeking your partner’s happiness can help reduce the stress (and the negative effects of that stress) you experience and the stress your partner experiences. Sounds like a win-win, doesn’t it? Pursue ways to strengthen your marital relationship and ways to promote your partner’s happiness and you will experience less stress.

How can you nurture your relationship satisfaction and promote your spouse’s happiness?

• Nurture a daily habit to look for things you admire and adore about your spouse. But don’t stop with looking for them. Tell your spouse one thing you admire or adore about them every day.
• Express gratitude to your spouse every day.
• Take time to talk with your spouse every day. Share your emotions as well as your daily activities.
• Support your spouse’s dreams.
• Respect your spouse’s vulnerabilities and sensitivities. Adjust your behavior with their vulnerabilities in mind.
• Show physical affection daily. Kiss one another when you leave for the day and when you return. Give multiple hugs throughout the day. Hold hands. Show physical affection.
• Respond to your spouse in a loving and interested way when they open the door to conversation or interaction.

These suggestions may appear like small, insignificant events. In reality, they are deposits made into our spouse’s emotional bank account. We nurture our marriage and promote our spouse’s happiness through the multiple deposits of small loving gestures throughout the day…and those deposits add up to create a solid, growing balance of love and happiness in our marriages.