Don’t Take Your Marriage for Granted
It is easy to start taking our spouse and marriage for granted. We live them every day, day in and day out. We naturally develop routines and patterns to help us navigate the busy-ness of life and, before long, we begin to feel like we’re in a rut—same routine, same conversations, same schedule. But it does not have to be this way. You can keep your marriage vibrant and exciting with these six actions.
- Focus on learning about your spouse. You and your spouse are complex individuals who constantly evolve and grow. There is always more to learn. Learn about their hobbies and interests. Learn about what they are reading, their opinion on a news item… whatever you want. And the more you learn, the more fun the next bullet becomes
- Focus on what you can give your spouse more than you focus on what you get from your spouse. Studies suggest that giving really is better than receiving. Giving results in greater joy and excitement. And as you learn about your spouse, you will come up with creative ways you can give and creative gifts to give. Have fun with it. One great gift is the gift of experience, the gift of doing things together. This brings to mind the next action step to keep your marriage exciting.
- Learn something together. Take a class together. Learn a language together. You could enjoy any number of learning experiences from learning a new recipe together to learning massage together. Learning something new together reignites the spark.
- Develop your individual life as well as your marriage. Our spouse cannot be the only friend we have. We need additional supports and friends. We benefit from people who can enjoy activities with us that our spouse may not enjoy as much as we do. So, enjoy a night out with friends. “Get a hobby” and enjoy pursuing that hobby with others who have a like interest. Those moments often make the heart grow fonder.
- Mix up your daily routine. You can do something simple like breakfast for dinner, trying a new restaurant, or watching a movie neither of you considered watching before. Or take a trip to a new place, a day trip or longer. Whatever you choose, the main point is doing something novel and new. Doing the novel and new has been shown to strengthen relationships.
- Go out on a double date or group activity. Enjoying the company of others often enhances the sense of intimacy in your relationship. As we watch our spouse interact with others, we are often reminded how very special they are. We are reminded of the reasons we fell in love in the first place.
Don’t take your marriage for granted. Revive it. Reinvigorate it with these six actions and you will enjoy your marriage all the more.
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