7 Lessons to Strengthen Our Daughters

Our daughters hear all the mixed messages society shouts out about femininity and the role of women. What they ultimately believe will be greatly influenced by their family. Even more, I believe fathers have a great responsibility to influence their daughter’s perception of what it means to be female and how to express their femininity in the world. The whole family needs to teach our daughters crucial lessons to clarify the mixed messages of society. Here are 7 lessons I think our daughters need to learn. 

  • Remember Eleanor Roosevelt’s words: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Even so, associate with friends who encourage and support you. Stay calm, state your point, and walk away from those who demean and belittle you. No need to throw your pearls before swine, they might just turn and try to trample you.”
  • Be mindful of what you communicate through your dress. I realize that others need not profile you based on your dress; but, let’s face it, they do. Whether you are male or female, people make assumptions about you based on your manner of dress. As they get to know you and your character those assumptions may change; but the initial impression can impact the chance of developing a relationship. So, let your true beauty be the inner beauty of a character—kindness, compassion, and morality—not the outward beauty that fades with time.
  • Look beyond the gossip. Be gracious and kind. When others gossip, you encourage. When others slander, you bless. When others demean, you show kindness. People are drawn to those who rise above the drama of backbiting and slander to engage others in ways that reveal respect and honor.
  • Recognize the power of your influence. Strength and influence flow from character, not smack talk, covert glances, or verbal assassinations. Let your inner strength of character shine forth in a power that reveals beauty, lights the way, and pushes the darkness of this world away.
  • Learn to be self-sufficient but never sacrifice your empathetic, nurturing, maternal role. Society desperately needs the keen sense of community, nurturing love, and relational justice unique to you as a woman…which brings me to the next lesson I believe important.
  • Great power lies in your femininity. As Michael Gurian notes, a woman is mother to her nuclear family, her extended family, and her community family. As such, you have great influence on your community and the future. Wield that influence wisely. Embrace your femininity and actively share it, not only with family but with the community at large.
  • Choose your spouse wisely. You are worthy of honor. You were made to be cherished. Choose a mate who will honor and cherish you. Whether male or female, a healthy marriage will increase your confidence, add to your happiness, and nurture your contentment and peace. A happy marriage makes us all better people. A healthy, intimate marriage brings heaven into your home.

Families desperately need to teach our daughters a strong message about the role of females in the world and the power of femininity. These seven lessons provide a starting point. What do you think our daughters need to learn?


  1. Jeweleen Hartzfeld says:

    I personally appreciate this article. As a mother of a teenager, I understand now the meaning of raising a teenager. I thought the younger years were the times your child needs you most and that their personality shapes by the age of 5. When folks say that your teenager needs you now more than ever, I get it. It doesn’t always feel that way, but they are faced with such social pressures and information overload, that we need to be able to guide them and these 7 steps provide us guidance. Thank you John and Alicia for your publications. Always appreciate reading and experiencing them. Godspeed.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.