We are designed for relationships. In fact, John Bowlby, who is credited with founding attachment theory, went so far as to say loving, secure relationships with our primary caregiver are as essential to life as water and food. And research suggests that “Loneliness Is More Dangerous Than Smoking 15 Cigarettes A Day.” At least one neuroscientist even notes that relationships feed our brains. What does a good relationship “feed” our brains? What nutrients does it receive?

• Oxytocin. When we socialize with other people, our brains release oxytocin. Oxytocin stimulates the reward center of our brains, creating good feelings in response to positive social interactions. It reduces stress, anxiety, and inflammation as well. As a result, it serves as a protective factor for our health and supports physical healing. This may help explain why people in loving relationships tend to live longer. They have higher levels of oxytocin released in response to positive social interactions with their loving partner.
• Serotonin. Oxytocin triggers the release of serotonin which further increases the good feelings of social interactions. Serotonin also plays a role in regulating our moods, increasing our ability to focus, facilitating greater emotional stability, and encouraging a healthy level of calm. All great benefits.
• Dopamine. Oxytocin also triggers the release of dopamine. Dopamine motivates our desire for more of the activities that stimulated its release, in this case, pleasurable social interactions with those we love. Together with serotonin, dopamine plays a role in increasing sleep quality (how long and how well we sleep). They also play a role in supporting a healthy sexual relationship with our spouse.

Together, these three neurochemicals support parents bonding with our children and spouses as well as falling in love and maintaining love. They also support physical health, healing, and longevity. They make up a great triad promoting physical, emotional, and relational health.

With all this in mind, if you want your family to experience the joy of brains well-fed on oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine, you can begin by building a foundation of positive relationships with your spouse and your children. You can build on that foundation every day with positive interactions like:

• Sharing about your day
• Enjoying small celebrations together
• Supporting one another through challenging times
• Showing empathy and concern for one another
• Sharing gratitude for and to one another
• Sharing appropriate physical affection
• Conversing over regular meals together
• Talking about interests, hobbies, and opinions
• Engaging in playful activities together

You’ll notice each of these activities open the opportunity for pleasurable social interactions that will support the release of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine to keep your brains happy and desiring of more pleasurable social interactions. Feed your brain and come back for more…and enjoy the feast.