Parents want their children to learn…and in this age of rush and hurry, we often seek out efficient means of helping our children grow in knowledge and skills. In fact, we can find apps, games, toys, devices, and shows that tutor our children in everything from math to reading to sports to music. That way we can run our lives efficiently while also giving our children the opportunity to learn. But these efficiencies may not be the most beneficial way for our children to learn. Children learn best from within relationships, in direct contact with the loving adults, siblings, and friends in their lives. For instance, a great way to teach our children to read is to read with them every day. Read out loud to them and allow them to read out loud to us. Read together and talk about what we read. It’s time consuming and inefficient; but it helps our children develop a love for learning, as well as strengthening our attachment to our children. It also provides us with the time to discuss whatever arises as we read about the values and actions and decisions of the characters in the stories we read together.

This is also true for other subjects, like math. The best way to learn math is in relationship to the teacher and the material used to teach. For instance, taking a child shopping and helping them add up the cost of groceries so we don’t exceed our budget teaches important math skills. So does cooking together as we learn to “cut a recipe in half” or make a “batch and a half.” These math skills are remembered as they remain practically embedded in life. Still, it’s not as efficient as learning it on the most recent trending app. Instead, it demands an investment of time and interaction…time and interaction that also translates into deeper interactions, opportunities to talk about life and values. Time that fills our lives with wonderful memories.

I even enjoyed “teaching” my children eurhythmics. I could have put on a video and let them learn as they did the activities on the video. Instead, we went to a local football field and practiced eurhythmics—marching, clapping, skipping, galloping, and even adding in some singing. It took time that could be invested elsewhere, but we gained a pretty good sense of rhythm, melody, and space as well as getting exercise, body coordination, and, most important, created some wonderful memories to cherish.

We could go through other subjects, but you get the idea. Doing things together increases learning and provides opportunities to strengthen relationships. It definitely demands an investment of time and, in that sense, is rather “inefficient.” However, the investment of time in any of these areas produces a lifetime of joyful memories and deepening relationships. For that reason, I will choose inefficiency in learning so I can enjoy a growing relationship with my children and family any day.