Make Date Night Spectacular

Remember the movie Date Night (2010) with Steve Carrell and Tina Fey? It was a fun movie about a couple (Steve Carrell and Tina Fey) who went on a date to escape the bored routine of their life and spark up their romance. In their attempt to have a glamorous night out, they get mixed up in a case of mistaken identity that leads to danger and excitement. Disaster after disaster ensues but, in the end, they are closer than ever. (You’ll have to watch the movie to discover the danger, disaster, and humor of their life-changing date.)  Although I hope to never have a date like the one portrayed in this movie, I do enjoy a date night. Date night can help marriages stay strong and even grow stronger. In fact, the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia found that couples who date regularly have better communication, and more satisfying sexual relationship, and greater commitment than those who do not date regularly. Another study using data from the Millennium Cohort Study in the UK found that couples who had one date night per month were less likely to divorce and had greater marital stability than those who did not date. A date night with your spouse has many positive benefits.

  1. Date nights with your spouse reinforce the importance of your relationship. Taking time to have a date night communicates how much you value your marriage and your spouse.
  2. Date nights with your spouse are an investment in your marriage’s well-being. We invest time and effort into what we value. Date nights demand we invest effort into planning and enjoying our spouse. They require an investment of the time we spend during the date—an investment of setting aside the busy-ness of the day, the demands of work and family, and the everyday worries we harbor so we can enjoy the time invested in our spouses. The investment may sound steep, but the dividends are great—a more satisfying sexual relationship, a happier home, greater intimacy, and more.
  3. Date nights with your spouse represent a public statement of your commitment to one another and your marriage. People see you with your spouse. They witness your commitment. They recognize you as a couple and come to think of you together.

So, if you want a stronger, happier marriage, enjoy date nights with your spouse. To help you enjoy your date nights and make them memorable, remember these 4 tips.

  • Plan ahead and anticipate. Begin talking about your date night ahead of time. Let anticipation build as you look forward to your night together. Even if you plan a “surprise date,” drop some hints and make some allusions about the plan to help build anticipation.
  • Treat the date night special. Date night is no ordinary night. Get dressed up for your spouse. Fix your hair up. Get a clean shave or trim the beard. Treat your spouse special during the date as well. Open doors. Compliment. Hold hands and walk slowly from the car to the date destination. Take your time and make the night special.
  • Minimize distractions. Turn your phone on silent and hide it in your pocket. Better yet, turn it off and leave it at home. Let the kids know you’re on a date and “Do Not Disturb.” Couples dated for years and left their children in the care of babysitters when they were no cell phones. They “hired” trusted babysitters to manage any situation that arose. Do the same today…and enjoy a quiet date night with your spouse.
  • Keep conversation fun. Avoid making your date night a planning session. Do not let the conversation become child-focused. Instead, let your spouse become the focus. Enjoy pondering hopes and dreams. Dream about trips and activities you could enjoy in the future. Keep the date conversation fun. Avoid touchy subjects that might lead to stressful discussions. Remember, it’s date night. Talk about topics that will entice and excite your spouse, topics that make your spouse laugh, topics that endear you to one another.

Now get out there and have a date night. Not just any date night but a spectacular date night…a joyous, intimacy building night together!

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