Tired of the chaos that fills our society? Looking for a way to make a real difference? I have a great solution for you to consider. It may sound too simplistic, but it is powerful. Build a healthy, happy family. Fill your children’s lives with “Positive Childhood Experiences” (PCEs).

Before you cast this idea off as pollyannish, let me explain. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)—which includes abuse of all kinds, domestic violence, household substance abuse, incarcerated household members, parental separation or divorce, and physical or emotional neglect—have long-term effects on the health and well-being of children and then adulthood. Specifically, ACEs contributes to increased risk for chronic disease and mental health issues. They can impair cognitive development, decision-making, attention, and learning. In addition, ACEs have been linked to increased substance abuse and risky sexual practices. As you can imagine, all this has an impact on relationships. It can lead to instability at work and then financial struggles (About Adverse Childhood Experiences | Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) | CDC). All this adds up to emotional and financial costs for society. In fact, the annual cost of ACES in the United States is $14.1 trillion according to a 2023 CDC study (Economic Burden of Health Conditions Associated With Adverse Childhood Experiences Among US Adults | Public Health | JAMA Network Open | JAMA Network).

Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs)—which include the opportunity to talk with family about feelings, feeling support from family, enjoying family/community traditions, having a sense of belonging in school, feeling support from friends, having at least two non-parent adults who genuinely care, and feeling safe and protected by an adult in the home—increase resilience, reduce mental issues, and increase social and emotional skills. PCEs provide a sense of safety that allows them to learn and grow in life and school. They reduce risk of mental health issues. They allow children to learn healthy social and emotional skills, increasing the opportunity for positive relationships, community involvement, and work success as they mature into adulthood. PCEs promote adults who are kind and loving yet exhibiting healthy boundaries and a better sense of well-being. (See PCEs-Infographic.pdf for more.)

So, if you want to resist the chaos of today and nurture a healthier society, begin right at home by building a home filled with positive childhood experiences. How?

• Develop supportive relationships with your children and family. Mark those relationships with warmth and age-appropriate limits that nurture growing independence and maturity.
• Spend time with your children and family. Enjoy learning about your children’s interests and supporting them in those interests. Laugh with your children. Engage in mutually enjoyable activities with our children. Enjoy time together.
• Involve your children and family in healthy community groups and activities. This may involve engaging with your children in sporting activities, faith-based activities, church, or volunteer activities. Build healthy social connections through these activities.
• Encourage your children to invite their friends to your home. Get to know their friends. Let your home become a meeting place for your children’s friends. Teach them hospitality.
• Support your children in school. Talk to your children about their day at school—what they learned, their experience with friends and teachers, which subjects interest them the most, which subjects they like the least. Patiently help with homework. Attend parent-teacher conferences. Support their involvement in extracurricular activities through the school.

These positive childhood experiences will nurture healthy children who become healthy adults. They offer direct resistance to the trauma of adverse childhood experiences…and the chaos of our world today. Ultimately, they help create an economy built on love and nurturance rather than harm and symptom management. As I heard one speaker say, “The infrastructure of a healthy society is love on a social scale” (Nadine Burke Harris, MD, MPH, FAAP speaking at the Psychotherapy Networker, 2026). That infrastructure begins in homes lovingly filled with positive childhood experiences.