I love children. They fascinate me with their innate intelligence, their rapid and changing development, their capacity for learning, their openness…. Truly, they amaze me. This study, exploring the helping behavior of a diverse group of 11- to 20-month-old babies (over half were Black and low-income), contributes to my amazement. To begin the study, researchers evaluated the babies’ cognitive skills and motor skills. Then, with the babies in a highchair, the researchers demonstrated putting multiples balls into a box or stacking blocks. At some point, the researcher pretended they could not reach a piece needed to finish the task. Over 80% of the youngest babies (slightly higher for the older babies) offered to help the researcher by either retrieving the “out-of-reach item” and handing it to the researcher or completing the task. Almost 80%…and within 20 seconds! Perhaps we can learn from our children. When we see a person struggling to complete a task, we can help…just like our one-year-olds.

This also suggests that our children have the building blocks of kindness at a very young age, before the age of one. We don’t necessarily have to teach them to be kind. We can simply nurture the kindness they already exhibit; and we can do it in a number of ways.

• Most importantly, we nurture our children’s kindness by modeling kindness to those in our family and to those outside our family. Make kindness a foundational aspect of your life. Your children will continue to learn and grow in kindness by observing your kindness.
• Gently encourage kindness. Encourage simple words of kindness such as “thank you,” “please,” and “you’re welcome.” Encourage simple acts of kindness such as helping others. Don’t force it. Don’t “yell at them” to be kind. Simply offer the opportunities for kindness and helping—helping to set the table, helping to carry a tool, helping someone to their seat, helping complete a playful task.
• Point out and acknowledge acts of kindness you witness from others. You don’t have to go overboard or make too big a deal about it. Simple statements like, “That was nice of them,” “That was very kind of them,” or “That was really helpful of them” acknowledge the act of kindness and its value to the community, planting a seed about the goodness of kindness.

Our children are amazing. Let’s nurture the good they already possess and enjoy watching them grow into wise, compassionate adults.