In today’s environment, we need to be intentional about developing the kind of families we desire. Otherwise, our society will pull us into the kind of family that fits the mold of whatever community we reside in. That may not sound too bad at first. After all, you might become a sports family or a theatre family, a band family or a dance family. These aren’t necessarily bad unless they become so time-consuming that they rob your family of a crucial family ingredient. For instance, if you find yourself constantly running from one sport activity to another with no time to enjoy simple family gatherings, or if you suddenly realize you’re dropping each child off at a different time for their music lessons, you might have lost an important component of a healthy family. Specifically, the activities have robbed you of family time, the time to sit down as a family and enjoy one another’s company. If you run from activity to activity, only coming home to collapse in your separate rooms to rest, might I suggest you slow down and develop a new family identity—the identity of a “living room family.” 

A “living room family” spends extended times together in a shared space (a living room, kitchen, or family room). This time together creates an environment in which a family can connect and build bonds. It values togetherness as part of the daily rhythm of life and so helps families connect in small and meaningful ways. This model of a “living room family” offers many benefits.

• It provides the opportunity to connect and build relationships within the daily rhythm of life. Connections with family buffers the stress of what goes on “out there.” It builds a sense of security that can translate into less troublesome behaviors.
• Children see their parents as available and engaged when we spend time together on a daily basis. The opportunity to relax, chat, share events, or simply engage in parallel activities in the same room raises the whole family’s awareness of their family’s availability and engagement. Knowing that parents remain available increases the opportunity for children to approach their parents with struggles and concerns. It increases their personal sense of value, which can decrease the tendency to “give in” to peer pressure.
• The “living room family” provides an environment in which children learn healthy social skills through observation and engagement. They learn to share, socialize, and take turns. They also learn how to remain aware of and considerate of those around them. The social skills learned in a “living room family” contribute to greater success in school and work.
• Family members feel welcome in a “living room family.” Feeling welcome and accepted lays the foundation for confidence and positive self-concepts.
• One last benefit I will mention. You will strengthen your marriage and your relationship with your children. A “living room family” will help you develop a lifelong, intimate relationship with your spouse and with your children as they grow. Isn’t that what we all dream of for our family? A loving, nurturing family that remains connected as everyone grows and matures.