Defeat the One-Word Answer
Have you noticed your children’s superpower? It’s the superpower of giving one-word answers.
- How was your day? “Alright.”
- What did you do today? “Nothing.”
- Where you been? “Nowhere.”
- Where you going? “I don’t know.” (I know, this one is actually three words but is still fits into his superpower of giving an answer with no real information.)
- Who are you going with? “Friends.”
I’m sure you’ve experienced this superpower. I want to offer you the kryptonite recipe that will defeat this “one-word superpower.” It consists of two ingredients. First, ask open-ended questions like:
- What made you laugh today?
- What was the nicest thing someone did for you today?
- What nice things did you do for other people today?
- What’s your favorite class? What makes it so good?
- What’s your least favorite class? What makes it your least favorite?
- What’s the difference between this year at school and last year at school? How are they different?
- What was the most interesting/funniest thing a teacher said today?
- Which of your classmates would make the best teacher? Why?
- What was the most unusual outfit in school today?
- Who did you help today? What did you do?
- How did you see God today?
You get the idea. Ask open-ended questions. Second, ask those questions wisely and judiciously. To ask questions wisely and judiciously takes a little effort. Specifically,…
- Do not bombard your children with questions. Some parents fire questions like bullets from a machine gun. Slow it down. Limit the question. Ask one question and then…
- Shut up and listen. The number one way to encourage your children to talk to you is for you to listen to them. Allow what they say to guide the conversation and influence you rather than you trying to guide the conversation to influence them. Follow the conversation where they lead it. You will learn a lot about them when you do.
- Don’t force the conversation. If your children need some down time, let them have it. Let them come to you and initiate the conversation. When they do, stop what you’re doing and listen. Give them your time and attention. Doing so communicates your desire to talk with them and your willingness to do so on their terms, not just your terms. That respect will come back to you when you initiate conversation with them.
Mix these ingredients together and you get the kryptonite for your children’s superpower of the one-word answer. Use it often. Use it wisely. Use it in love.